I have a girlfriend who is 26 yo. We are planning for marriage in 2 years, but I helping her to save about $100 to $200 per month. I had a hard time convince her to save up for our future. But she secretly spending away the saving account, giving excuses that she sometimes need money to buy clothes and pay her bills. And telling me that it is ok. When I hold on to atm card to prevent her from withdrawing. And sometime when ask her to put money into it. (I have no access to her account)She will say I am extorting her and say it is none of my concern. What would you do if you will me. In Singapore buying house and marriage need lump sum of money. If I don't help her save, end of the day I will be paying for everything, right. (Cost of living is high) Feeling helpless...
2007-06-12 03:38:20 · 6 answers · asked by ButterMilkQueso 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She was saying she will keep the atm card, and will save herself. But it seems that she using it as a expenses or backup account. When she get her pay of $1.3k ($900 left after CPF), she will not last till the month end. Is it really not enough. I been paying for food and sometime entertainment when we out dating.
2007-06-12 03:41:18 · update #1
It is not a shared account, it is her saving account. (I have no access, and I don't need access) I just want to help her stop using that for expenses. Safekeeping for her only..
2007-06-12 03:56:24 · update #2
I have return her the card after a quarrel. I don't want her to keep complaining that I am extorting her money (I can't figure out extorting when I have no access and that is her money. Even brokers get comission for their client's investment. I get none.) And say that I controlling her. I just want to help.
2007-06-12 03:59:07 · update #3
I am saving hard but she seems to always give excuse her low pay is not enough. I used to save $200 when I got $1.3k pay last time. I means I can't wait for her to reach the targeted saving amount then marriage, I be wasting many years of my life waiting like this right?
2007-06-12 04:03:10 · update #4
Ask her if she is serious about marriage? See what her reaction is and if it correlates with what she is saying. Express to her that you are not trying to control her in any way by means of keeping her card, but that you really want to help her with learning how to save money and that it is important for her to do if she wants to be married to you. Tell her that if she wants to be with you she has to learn self-control in the aspect of money and if she can't do it right now, that the wedding may need to be post-poned until the funds are ready.
2007-06-12 03:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Rachel The Great ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it's a fantastic idea to save money for your future. However I would forget the 2 year date. I would set the goal to be a dollar amount instead. There is little incentive for her to save if you're getting married in 2 years regardless of how much you've saved,
Keep in mind that people are at their best when you're dating. There is no expectation that her finances of spending habits will improve. This is the best she will ever be. Also the #1 subject married couples argue about is money. If you can't live with someone who's unable to control their spending maybe marriage isn't a good idea.
2007-06-12 10:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not willing to go the distance and is causing strife between you. Granted yes, its her money her choice, but I am under the assumption that this isn't a control issue but a matter of way of succeeding. Do yourself a favor and let her spend the money, save yours and start "shopping" for a new girlfriend. She's not mature enough to control herself or you are too controlling over her, find someone that can meet you halfway in your plans, she doesn't want to.
2007-06-12 10:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by avengress 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be crazy giving her this money.She can't be trusted and she's using you.Wake up.
If you still want to save the money with her,then start your own account and have your own card and don't give any to her.Let her save in her own account and you in yours.You can put it together when you get married.
If you can't trust her now,how are you going to trust her later? I would make sure you have this all sorted out before you ever think of marrying her.You really need to find out what her intentions are.Doesn't sound to me like she is planning on getting married to you.
Good Luck.
2007-06-12 10:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh oh, youve got a big spender here. I can understand, I LOVE to shop and got myself into debt during college, but as you get older you are supposed to wise up and realize you need to save for the future. Why dont you tell her to save a certain amount and then you will marry her?
2007-06-12 10:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by Jukebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your girlfriend should never have any access to your account. My mother works at a bank and the wisest thing to do is to wait until your married then share the account.
2007-06-12 10:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by ~Soul Socks~ aka <Spiderwebs& 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋