for those againt abortion , what would you do?

Question

please read over the situation below and tell me what the alternatives where , how you would have coped , what you would have done ?

when i was 7 my mother was in a terribly abusive relationship
she was beaten and raped in front of my sister and i
she looked after this mans 2 children also , one was handicapped
after the rape she planned to escape but this man kept watch over her like a prisoner
she found out she was pregnant and knew she had to do something
so one night she ran away with all 4 children while the man lay drunk
she had to take the mans children to their grans and just run off anywhere with my sister and i
we had no clothes, money or personal belongings
she went to her sisters who was the only family she had , but her sister also had children and no room for us all
so my mother left us there until she went to a shelter and eventually found an appartment for us

during this time she arranged for an abortion , as this man was looking for her and she was scared he would find out about the baby
so she did it
she nearly died doing it
and at 7 years old i was really the only person my mother had to help her through this
that was 30 years ago

oh dear January
you must be new here
because you obviously dont know me

Answer 1

So, she murdered an innocent to save her own skin, against a threat that had she gone to authorities instead of just a shelter, would not have existed.

Brava, Madame, Brava.

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*waves to Moiraes*

Remember, this Pro-Life/Anti-Choicer's an atheist.

Hi, how ya' doing?

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Woot! My lowest rated answer ever!

Answer 2

Well that is a broad question but here is the thing being against abortion does not mean your againt OUTLAWING abortion. See I am anti abortion but I do anything and everything I can to keep abortion legal in the United States because those are MY MORAL convictions which can not allow me to make ETHICAL decisions for everyone because obviously this woman has diffrent MORAL ideas and beliefs than I do. Also, if she wants an abortion she is going to have it and by keeping it band it creates a situation that will not only probably kill the child but herself as well, something adament pro lifers never talk about.

Now in this situation should she have had an abortion no, I would have encouraged giving it up for adoption because everyone wants a new born its the older kids that have the problems. So that is what I would have done. However, that is not what she did and I can not blame her because there are many reason other than what you are listing that could attribute for this.

So again thats my solution but I am in no place to say that what she did was right and or wrong, I only know what I know and feel that education about the situation and teaching peoples options is far more important than bashing her or outlawing abortion.

Answer 3

Though I can sympathise with your mum's predicament, I can not condone her choice of having an abortion, there are other avenues to go down. Though it was thirty years ago, there was help around for such cases as your mums.

My own mother had a seriously abusive relationship with my former stepfather, nearly thirty years on she still has the scars, both physical and emotional. During this time she became pregnant, he still beat her often during the pregnancy, thankfully my brother was born healthy. Today he is 24 years old and is a lovely lad, kind, thoughtful, nothing like his father. At that time, leaving was not an option for my mum, she was just too scared. My stepfather always said, no matter where we went, he would find us, and kill us and he was capable of it.

Though my mum will admit to me that when she found out she was pregnant she was scared, depressed and wished she wasn't pregnant, abortion never was an option. Today neither of us, my older brother and two sisters would be without him.

Having said all that, at the end of the day I have not personally walked in your mum's shoes, and I am in no position to judge your mum, I'm sure it was not an easy decision to make, I just do not agree with it.

I believe that life starts at the moment of conception and that the spirit too enters at that time. As a Spiritualist, as you are also, I know an aborted Spirit shows no signs of bitterness and when they come through show the same love as our other loved ones do. Maybe they do choose that life, however short, maybe there were lessons on both sides to be learnt. I don't know.

To me personally though, abortion just does not feel right to me, why create a life, only to destroy it? I have never been in your mum's, or my mum's situation, after seeing what my mum went through, I have made damn sure that I won't ever get to that point. Until you are in that kind of situation you can't truthfully say what you would do, but I don't believe I would have an abortion.

Answer 4

The soul does not die when the body has died. It is unborn everlasting, eternal, and it doesn't suffer as the body suffers. I hope that will console you or your mother to know that the baby that left your lives did not squash out of existence, it simply had it's karma in your mother's womb and left to experience something else.
As for your mother- she made her choice, it is not for us to judge a person's choice. She will and probably has suffered the consequences for her actions, but she has also made much good karma I am sure, and protecting the rest of the children and herself are all VERY important. She made a big sacrifice for the good (in her eyes) of the rest of those involved. She knows how much she can handle. Everyone knows how much they can handle. It was obviously beyond what she could cope with. To all you who say that you or others may would have or have done better and kept the child, I say don't judge, you or I have no idea what another person's actual situation/limitations are.

I am also pro-choice anti abortion. How i feel this is that it is indeed wrong to kill that unborn baby, and anyone who considers it should realize that they are creating much bad karma to do it, but that she should be allowed to do it, she should be able to weigh the pros cons, and come to the decision herself. Its definately very serious consideration, not simply a birth control method.
Personally, I think I'd rather take another birth than to be born in a hellish environment like the one you described, but the choice is not with the soul, that is the baby's own karma to be born or not born in hellish environment.
My heart goes to you.... don't mind the judgmental harsh people- they are simply very narrow minded. and very blinded by self righteousness and pride.
- God is- as aradhana has said, merciful and compassionate and will not judge from one act but a culmination of all your activities.
God bless you and your mother

Answer 5

I"m really struggling with reading all this insensitivity. This wasn't a hypothetical question. This was the beginnings of the life you have known and what you used to be who you are now.

Which interestingly enough reflects huge kindness and tolerance. I'm glad that she got out, and that she got you children out. It would have been diabilitating to continue to watch someone treat your mom with such hatred and abuse.

She showed such strength in getting out when it had to have messed with her psychologically. She had taken more than she could tolerate and that's the end of it. That includes a baby created by that horrendous scene.

People who blanket all this with being pro-life, don't look at the living beings who's sacrifices are very real and very personal. They want to make their morals everyones compass.

Yet they look as if they have no compassion or movability. How awful do the stories have to be before you see? Do you understand what anti-choice even means?

Lets take some choices away from you on how you live your life and see how laid back you are?

Answer 6

What a very sad story.

Well, instead of having to go through that terrible thing, she could have had the baby and (through an attorney) arranged an adoption. There are so many couples (look in the back of any New Yorker magazine, for example) who would gladly pay all expenses---medical AND living expenses--to be able to adopt a baby.

This would have benefited all of you.

Instead, she had an abortion, nearly causing her remaining children to be orphaned as a result.....
Hopefully, she has matured and her life has improved since this terrible time 30 years ago. I am sorry for any trouble in your life as a result of this kind of background, although many times a childhood like this serves as a good negative example. ( i.e. the way a child does NOT want to grow up.) I hope that is the case for you.

Answer 7

I am glad your mother found the strength to leave such an ugly situation. That is not to say that I do not feel for women who have had do endure abusive relationships; I am just so glad to hear about someone who escaped.

As far as the pregnancy, I am sure it was a tough decision for your mother, but to me it was a non issue. She already had 2 healthy children that, along with herself, needed every opportunity to be supported and protected. Though she sounds like a strong woman I do not see how she could have given you and your sister the support and attention you needed at such a critical time if she was also having to deal with all the complications of pregnancy.

Children are the top priority.

As far as giving support to you mother while she was going through such a tough time, I would guess that, too, was tough for you and your sister.
Despite the fact that I feel humans have become prissy from living in cities for so many generations, 7 is still a little young, even by old time standards, to have to become a young woman. That is more equivalent to growing up in a war torn family (which I guess in a way it was).

Answer 8

I have mixed feeling about abortion. I don't know if I would ever be able to do it myself, unless I was in a situation similar to you mothers or if I were pregnant from a rape or something like that. But I don't blame your mother for what she did at all. Alot of "ProLife" people seem to totally disreguard the horrible things that could have happened should she have had that baby. Some say she could have gone to the police, well I have news for those people, even now, if an abused woman goes to the police for help, she is often turned away because of "lack of evidence". Unless a woman goes for that kind of help right after a beating, they really can't help much. And when a woman is that badly abused, the man doing the abusing doesn't let her leave until the evidence is gone. These men are disgusting excuses for humans but they are not stupid. Now let's take into concideration that this was thirty years ago. Domestic violence was often concidered the norm and many women were even murdered by abusive spouses.

Your mother ran out of options and she was just lucky to have gotten away with her life. The abuse your family endured is unimagineable for some. But if she would have kept that baby, Lord only knows what he would have done to her when he found out. And the "law" would have made her give him rights as a "father" to that child. The baby didn't ask to be born at all, let alone to be fathered by a psychopath, but your mother didn't ask to be raped either.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I believe in almost every situation abortion is wrong. A person should not take the punishment for their parents. I wish she could have found a way to carry the child to full term. There are so many people out there wanting, wishing and waiting for a child and I'm sure your mother would have had the child if she was in a stable situation. If only there was a way people in these situations could meet...

Answer 11

So how would you fell if you would have been this child?My wife experienced the same thing as a child.Her father was in a band and often spent most of his time on the road and in bars.When he was there he often beat them all.Many times her mother would suffer from nervous break downs and be institutionalized because of the abuse.My wife has 4 sisters and 3 brothers.Everyone of them love and respect their mother today and are good citizens.She never once considered aborting any of them.And I am so glad.I would not have been able to have the most wonderful wife and mother for our children today, had she done so.

I might add that its obvious that you are troubled and hurt by all of this and justifiably so.My wife used to hurt so bad.She even hated her father,but since she became a Christian God has given her the grace to love and forgive him of all that he done to them.Please take all of this to God.He loves you so very much and really wants to help you.Man can help, but no one can do what Jesus can do for things like this.