How can I tell this 13 years old boy politely not to....?

Question

Hi all....Ok there is a 13 years old boy who lives just besides my home. He loves my 2.9 years old son a lottttt.....He takes my son into his arms and literally squeezes my son....my son for sure feels the discomfort and pain but very young to express it out. once I saw my son pressing his rib cage with his hands....I asked him what happened...he said "nothing"....

I saw this once or twice and told the juvenile not to do that. He tries to comprehend his act and says that he is not hurting my kid...and says he is just pretending that way and not at all holding him tight....But I can see the force that he is using....How can I tell him not to do that...politely????? I am very much worried about this.....This boy though he is 13...is a bit immature types (NOT mentally retarded)...so I have to tell him thinking he is a 8 years old kid....please advice.....

hmm....his mother is one lady who eludes to admit any of his son's mistakes...that is the major problem here...he is the only kid......

hey......Darcie R..I actually have to stand on a chair to lock my eyes to his.....(I am not short....he is tall....) not kneel.... Every body are giving me best answers....I like yours Darcie R...thanks....thanks all....actually I tried to explain him onece or twice but I got the same explanation from him....But I think I have to be firm and strict this time....It is the extremity of my patience now....or I would show myself as a bad parent.....which I hate to....

Actually here in India, people who stays in the same colony...I can say neighbours....visits every bodys homes very often....(some times every day)...so all the kids play togeather they some times take the kids to their home and play with them and get them back....

Answer 1

Tell him No and if he continues break his ribs....No need to be nice about it if he wont listen....If his mom and dad dont like it break their ribs too!

Answer 2

No, it's not right. If he were my brother, i'd be weirded out as well. Walking around touching yourself naked in the house? Weird. For a 13 year old boy to be doing it by himself once in a while? That's more normal. The fact that it is effecting you, and that your dad doesn't agree with it either is the issue. His habits conflict with other people's lives, and that's not right.

Answer 3

I would suggest telling the boy that although he may not think he is being rough, that your 3 year old is fragile and should be treated with the same type of strength that you would use when patting a cat (or some other similar analogy) The boy probably just doesn’t realise that his force is excessive. If that fails, discuss the problem with the boys parents.

Answer 4

I agree with the folks who have said that the time for politeness is over- your child's safety is at stake here. If blunt talk "Hey guy, no more hugging!!" doesn't work- just keep your child away from this boy- plain and simple. If you allow it to continue, it could possible escalate, and your child will not be the winner. Even if the neighbor has maturity issues and good intensions, you kid's safety is #1.

Answer 5

I use a tactic with my kids and kids' friends that seems to work pretty well; the next time you see the kid, tell him you need to speak to him, and when he is in front of you, KNEEL down to his level and lock your eyes with his. Hold his gaze for a second or two until your sure that he has your undivided attention and tell him you have something very important to tell him that you need his help with. Then tell him that it is very important that he not hug or squeeze your son anymore... then ask him if he understood what you said and have him repeat it. Thank him for being a big help, and tell him you knew he would understand.
Then go tell his Momma to tell her kid to keep her hands off your baby.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

If you have tried politely and it is not working, then you have to take action. You are not a good parent if you don't protect your 2 year old. Don't try to reason with a 13 year old! If you say no, that means no. Be firm and talk to the boy's parents if necessary.

Answer 7

I wouldnt care to much about the polite part. I would plain an simply tell the kid to keep his hands off of your son. If necessary I would go to his parents. Your boy is going to get hurt if you dont stick up for him.

Answer 8

You tell him that if he is going to hug he has to do it gently or NOT AT ALL! as it hurts even when he don't think that its hurting, do this in a very calm level tone so he realizes and listens, rather then wait until your frustrated and emotional with an out burst which will leave you both feeling disappointed and unhappy.

Answer 9

Just be blunt about it. Tell him that he could hurt your son badly doing that, and if he doesn't stop, he will not be allowed to play with him.
If you notice that he does it again, just pick up your son, and tell the other boy that he is not allowed to play with him anymore.
Stick to it for a week or two, then allow him near him again.
Chances are he will be more gentle with your son, knowing that you meant what you said.

Answer 10

i am a little confused, this is your neighbor, right? hes 13? why is he coming over to play with your 2 year old anyway? you should have never allowed this from the begining. i wouldnt let him come over anymore, my childs safety is more important than being polite. and its obvious that you cant ask his mom for help so just tell him hes not allowed to come and play anymore. and then call the lady and tell her, look i cant have your son over anymore, he plays to rough with the baby and if she doesnt like TOO BAD!!!!

Answer 11

Im guessing you told him politely the first time. If this continues, there is no way to tell him politely if he took it the wrong way last time....... I have a cousin like that. Completely disregards her actions....... Were on the same page