Bad Dad-in-law advice needed?

Question

We got a phone call last weekend from my sis in law, for fathers day he wanted some bushes planted. I told my hub I did not think he meant us (me and 2 kids) my hub wanted us to come. So we did. It was horrible. I was so right he did not want us there. The kids were not even allowed in the house, except to use the bathroom. I am a very experienced gardener and when I went to grab a shovel to help, my sis in law shook her head no. I have never felt so unwelcome anywhere in all my life. At one point my daughter, who is two went for the landscaping rocks and grandpa flipped. telling her he was going to smack her.. a bit later my hub put some rocks into my nieces lil wheelbarrow and grandpa freaked on him, don’t f$%^ing give them rocks I am going to kill someone if I hit them with a lawn mower.. the last straw was when my 2 yr old hopped off the patio, onto his new “dirt” bed and grandpa started screaming for the switch…any advice?
thanks...

Answer 1

It is your job to protect your children from physical and emotional abuse. Refuse to expose your children to this ever again. If your husband can't understand this than it is his problem.

My mother in law is very similar to this and has abused my little boy. Look up my questions and see what she did too my barely 8 month old.

I refuse to go to her home or her daughters, they are more than welcome to come to my home to see my little boy but we don't go there. My husband understands this and does occasionally go to his mothers but cares enough for his son that he doesn't insist that we go with him.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First he is overreacting but i understand someone not wanting kids in their garden or mess up their landscaping. First your husband should have addressed it on the spot as far as the way your father in law spoke to the kids but you should have corrected kids from messing with the garden or taking rocks that arent meant to be picked up, kids shouldnt be picking up rocks, and for so many reasons, you know that, plus when he wouldnt the kids in cause they were dirty, you should have just went home. Have your husband address it. Also he didnt invite you to his house and seems he made it clear you were unwanted guest that day , you can address it on behalf of your kids and a parent but the rest should be handled by the hubby, its his dad.

Answer 3

Your Husband needs to defend his children from this abuse. What did he say and/or do when these things were happening? Ignoring it??? You shouldn't have been there in the first place it seems, but since you were and once the first nasty thing happened, you all should have got into the car and left. Most likely your husband is used to his father's behavior, so perhaps that is why he didn't kick his dad in the butt for talking to and about your children like that, but HE'S a dad now, and needs to protect his family from verbal abuse and negative environments. As for the sister-in-law, she sounds like a piece of work as well, and I would steer clear of her as well...

Answer 4

I would probably avoid going to his house with my kids after that. I dont want my kids to be treated that way by anyone specially by their Grandfather. Your Kids might pick up bad attitudes from him. I wouldnt want my kids saying bad words, you see kids immitate what they see and hear. Please talk to your hubby about it also. I'm sure he would listen and he'll understand. Next time you have to see your in law it would be best if it is not in his house maybe in a public place . A restaurant is a good place cuz I'm sure he wont act up there.
Take care and good luck

Answer 5

I'd of knocked that man on his *** for treating my kids that way and he would know he best not ever even think about coming over to my house. I'd b telling hubby he may not have the gall to stand up to this man but I do.