He is 34 and came to live in our area and is staying in our house until he gets sorted. He has money (he got from his mother) for rent, deposit etc for new place and got a job (my husband got it for him) and he started work but he has not even mentioned looking for a place, hasn't looked or even talked about it. He has never worked as he was in college for a long time and he has always lived off his parents. I have a feeling he will stay a long time, am I right to be concerned? Or should I just relax and see how it goes he is only with us a week so far.
2007-06-11 23:26:42 · 10 answers · asked by nik 28 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My brother in law moved in with us 2 years ago because he had broken up with his girlfriend. He said it would only be short term until he got back on his feet. Two years later, he is still here. I finally told him that he had to leave by August. I just explained to him that there is no reason why a 35 year old abled man should be living with his sister and brother in law. I told him that his over presence in our house is causing us marital disharmony. I think (I hope) he got the clue that he needs to move. Wish me luck that he moves in August. I dont want to cause any problems for him and my wife. But enough is enough. He is 35 and he has a job.
2007-06-11 23:41:14 · answer #1 · answered by tonykandyceandkayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be concerned, its your house. See how it goes for a week or two, and if you see nothing happening or he doesnt say anything, start asking questions? Maybe he will get the hint and get his act together.
If nothing continues to happen, talk to your Husband and explain to him that you feel its time he find his place immediately, and that this was suppose to be a temporary fix.
The next time this happens, with anyone, agree on a length of time. It may seem weird because its family, but its also YOUR house that YOU pay for.
Lay Down the Law!!
2007-06-11 23:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under no circumstances. What are you - a doormat? Your b-i-l has been not only rude but verbally abusive to you since day one, he cannot possibly be a guest in your house now. You are right, he is only apologising because he wants something out of it for himself, not out of genuine remorse for what he has done. Stand firm, and make your husband stand firm with you. He needs to be on your side in this. If he shows any signs of giving in to his bully brother, tell him calmly that while his brother is under your roof, you will be staying at a hotel.
2016-05-18 00:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful!. he is very important for your husband. If yu say something bad you can hurt him. I am sure yu dont want to argue with your husband. BUT ofcourse he can't stay in your house anymore. Not longer than 25 days.( normal is 25 believe in me ) And when yu reach 24 th day talk to your husband. In a very kind way.Tell him that you can't bath freely. You feel not comfortable when he is at home. And try to find common points with your husband. Never show yur dislike on yur face. ( yur husband never forget that ).. I am sure he is uncomfortable either..be patient.. good luck. ( If yu want further info pls write me but then tell me details about yur husband)
2007-06-11 23:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by curiousbee24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, be easy but go with instinct but atleast give him atleast a month, then start giving him the newspaper and make sure the section with apartments for rent are in the front. If not, tell your husband to tell him he needs to go, its not your place it will only cause strife btwn you and him.
2007-06-12 00:22:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. It happens. When u left India for the third country n the countrymen of that country had the similar feeling that u will leave them but u hve not.
He is your brother n law respect him or tell him frankly. Why insult him on internet. (pl dont feel offended) Its all on merits. Still I can guide you but pl look after your brother in law.He needs ur help
2007-06-11 23:38:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a month. After that have your husband talk to him. There is a saying about guest staying at ones home. That they are like fish, after three days both stink.
2007-06-11 23:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Sunset 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to mention to him about moving out. He has the money and the job to do so.
2007-06-12 00:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him at least a month or two to get on his feet, or he will be right back at your house in a few months.
2007-06-11 23:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandma had a great saying.
"After 3 days, fish and guests start to stink"
2007-06-11 23:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by zippythewonderslugohio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋