High Energy Children and TALKING TALKING TALKING!?

Question

My daughter is 5, and very high energy. She has quite advanced language skills and is very smart. Others call her A.D.D. but i try to steer clear of that term. The problem is she talks WAY too much. While shes eating, going to the toilet, bathing, sitting by herself - you name it, she talks. Occasionally i ask her to be quiet, I tell her its quiet time, its good for people to have time to think. I usually have to ask her half a dozen times, she just doesnt seem able to shut up. I answer her questions and am a talkative person, I know ive encouraged her to ask and communicate and learn, and I dont want to damage her self esteem by ordering her to "shut-up please!!!!" occasionally, but it gets really frustrating. Does anyone else have this problem? And what do you think??

Answer 1

My son is like that. He never stops. So when my husband has had enough he plays "the 10 min game". He made up a game with my son to see if he could stay quiet for 10 mins. It works. Most of the time he goes beyond 10 mins, cause we forget and he usually mouths, "has it been 10 mins yet?". You should try it.

Answer 2

I WAS THE EXACT SAME WAY AS A YOUNG GIRL!! ha ha, and I still am that way to an extent, though it's gotten a lot less nuts. I'm 21. I remember my grandparents (when I was getting babysat) would set a timer and the longer I was quiet the more money I got. Like .10 for ever minute or so. It worked cause I liked the extra money and sometimes I did just need to learn what "quiet time" was.

Good job on denying the doctor's to diagnose her with ADD! They tried to do that with me at the same age and my mom refused. I never had ADD...it was just part of my personality! Thank God to all your smart moms that don't let the doctor's dictate who your children are!

Answer 3

Honestly, ignore the people who say she has ADD. She's just an energetic little girl. She doesn't have a problem other than she's excited about life. She most likely voices everything that comes to mind and doesn't find a reason to quietly contemplate. This is her personality and not a disorder. I'm a Kindergarten teacher and so many of my parents are concerned that their little ones are ADD or ADHD because of how active they are. Unless she can't concentrate or stick to an activity (that she enjoys) than I wouldn't worry at this point. She would do well with joining an activity with other kids so she can socialize with them and learn how to take turns talking and listening. It's hard for a 5 year old to give others a chance to talk and giving them the chance by letting them interact with other of their age will help.

Answer 4

This is totally normal for a smart, outgoing, 5 year old girl. My daughter is the same way. When I need a break we play the quiet game. Whoever talks first, loses. She hates losing. Sometimes she even catches herself in the car talking too much and suggests the quiet game.
I have only had one person comment on it and they didn't have kids, so their opinion meant nothing to me. Most people just smile and laugh because I play into it.

Answer 5

I have a 7 year old boy who talks alot not necesarily the way your daughter does, but it takes him 3 times longer to tell a story than most kids. He takes the most long winded, convoluted approach he can. Some days he DOES get on a talking roll. Like you and others have said, I call quiet time. I start with only a minute and then over time you can work your way up. I also found a neat trick in the car (I need some peace while I'm driving).......challenge her to count to herself up to a certain number. Tell her you're timing her. Then when she's done challenge her to do it quicker. tell her if you can hear her counting, it is breaking a rule. This works wonders with my kids in the car.

Answer 6

I think you may have to accept some of this as her personality. However there are times she needs to be quite (church, library, movies, etc) during these times you could start some positive motivation for her. Have a reward after these times if she has done a good job. The hard thing is, that what works for one may not work for another and kids change so much that what works one month may not work another. It can be very frustrating.

But I think you are doing the right thing by keeping things positive and encouraging her education.

Answer 7

PLEASE if you find out how to cope with this let me know!
My 5 yr old son is EXACTLY the same! When we ask him to be quiet he says "But I can't HELP but talk! I need to talk!"... he is also very advanced language wise, and VERY high energy. He does the same thing- talks ALL. THE. TIME.
His doctor says its just because he gets so bored when he isn't being stimulated, so he talks to himself to stimulate himself. I am also a talkative person, and I like chatting with him and answering his questions, but I also get frustrated when I need just a MINUTE of time without someone talking my ear off!
Usually I just tell him to go read a story to the dog if he needs to talk while I need him to be quiet. He will get a book, sit beside our dog (who sleeps the whole time) and will read to her. I also gave him our old cordless phone to pretend chat on. So when I am on the phone needing him to NOT be talking to me, he pretends to be on his phone talking to someone.
I don't think I have heard him not talk for more than 5 minutes since he started talking over 3 yrs ago.

I am not sure how you can deal with this, as I am still trying to figure that out myself... and I agree with the ADD thing- don't let anyone label your child. I have had numerous ppl ask me if my son was ADD or ADHD. I say "No, he's just too smart for his own good sometimes!" and walk away.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

This is so funny to me, because my almost 6 year old son is the EXACT SAME WAY! I'm so glad that there is someone else out there like this. My son talks and talks and talks. My husband and I laugh because sometimes we think that he just talks to hear himself talk lol. But I do understand how frustrating it can be, it can become sooo irritating soooo fast. We find out time in the car during car rides are the times that it drives us bonkers. We have tried so many different things to get him to quiet down a little bit, but it's like he just can't! We tried getting him to read more books on his own, but he'd be like "oh Mom this great thing happened in this book blah blah blah, thanks for getting me this book Mom it's great because blah blah blah" and he goes on and on and on. I'm sorry that I'm not very much help but, you're not alone! The only thing that I find kind of helps is to set him up with a craft to do, that involves scissors, paper, glue, stickers, glitter etc...and then walk away lol. He usually quiet for about half an hour.. lol

Answer 9

I also have a 5-year old daughter with many of the same characteristics. I won't tell you it's normal -- almost everyone who meets my child remarks on it. The questions can be really hard -- one answer begets another question into infinity. And often the questions are meaningless, or just something she already knows the answer for. I also worry that she will isolate herself from other kids, if they find it annoying too. Fortunately, she seems to be doing fine socially.

It sounds like you're doing your best to raise an engaged, happy and curious child. Maybe, like me, you just need occasional breaks from her so you can appreciate what makes her special?

Answer 10

It is defenitely not a problem. Very many kids go through that phase. My parents told me that one time when I was 4 or 5, we were going on a road trip. It was a 7 hour car ride, and I did not stop talking the whole time. You know, talking a lot is actually a good sign. It means that she is curious, and that she will become very smart.