So, I know this may seem really shallow but I was talking with some friends of mine and they said that since my friend asked me to take a trip with him that he should pay. I dont know how I feel about this since he has a child and has bills to pay. They said that that wasnt my problem and I that if he asked me to go the bill should be on him or I shouldnt go because he will expect something. We used to date in highschool and broke up for dumb reasons but now that we are older (7 years) things have changed and we are mature now. I like him a lot and we absolutely have chemistry. Everytime we go out he pays so I am not sure on how to ask him how we would do things?
Please no mean or negative responses...just wanted to see what others would think.
2007-06-11 19:35:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, this is coming from a guy that travels extensively and has taken women on trips to exotic places...if he asked, he has to assume that you are going as his guest. That being said, I have yet to meet a woman that I would date that wouldn't at the very least offer to pay for something along the way, if she cared for me. The problem is not whether he asked and therefore has the DUTY to pay your way; the issue is how you want him to view you during and after the trip! Unless you're going to be a sex toy he uses when he comes back to the hotel at night and leaves alone to her own devices while he goes off to take care of his own business, you might want to act as if you were part of a couple...and couples share.
2007-06-11 19:53:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just mention to him that you would love to go on vacation with him but you're not sure if you can afford to take a vacation right now? That way if he was planning on paying your way he will say something to that effect. Then you can take it from there. If you are finacially able to take a vacation and was planning one this year anyway, then I think you should offer to pay your share. If this relationship develops into more later you will be starting off on an even ground and be a real team. I think your friends are wrong, does that mean if one of them asks you to go on a trip with them that they should pay your way too? If he has a child and bills to pay I would not want to put the burden of paying my way on him too. He could end up resenting you for it and that would hurt your relationship. The only way I would agree with your friends is if he were asking you to go to a family reunion in another state or something where he was going to go anyway. THEN you would be doing him a FAVOR! ha.ha. ( I hate family reunions) but even then I might offer to help pay for some gas or something. So anyway, it sounds like the relationship has not progressed very far and I would definitely NOT expect him to pay everything! If you were married you would hopefully be a team and not expect him to do it all alone. Right?
2007-06-11 20:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really hard to say. I know that if someone invited me on a trip that was gonna cost some $$$ I would tell them something along the lines of "I would LOVE to but I don't have that kind of money at the moment". I would say that just to get a response and see if he says "oh no it's on me" or well,,it's gonna be X-amount of dollars each person. Personally speaking if a guy invited me on a trip, I wouldn't expect to pay for anything as far as tickets are concerned. However, I would maybe offer to pay for some of our leisure time we spend somewhere. Like maybe offer to buy dinner, lunch or breakfast, drinks maybe. Something like that. I don't think it's shallow.
2007-06-11 19:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's extremely kind of him to ask you to go on vacation with him, but I would have also said no. As long as you explained that you were really appreciative, but that you wouldn't feel comfortable with that, it was not rude that you said no. However, it seems like he's a really good guy, so why don't you ask him to go to lunch or something else low-key like bowling with you? That way, he doesn't feel rejected, and he still feels like you're interested in him :)
2016-05-17 23:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you would love to go, but you just haven't budgeted for a trip to right now. See what he says. I would expect to pay for any extras, and at least treat for dinner a couple of times. More than likely, he is expecting romance and sex.
2007-06-11 19:44:03 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, for things that cost a lot i.e. accomodation, offer to pay for your part. For meals, maybe you can pay 2 or 3 times out of ten meals? Fair enough right? Guys want to pay for everything though they can hardly afford it. It's good that you are not a blood sucker and you are considerate. Cheers!
2007-06-11 19:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by angel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A solution a gal and I came up with worked out fairly well.
I paid for the transportation, hotel and attractions.
She paid for the meals and any "light" bar tabs.
We did that for quite a few trips, it worked for us.
2007-06-11 19:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, he should pay for the vacation expenses like, hotel bill and transportation bill, but for the meal or shopping you can pay it on you own.
2007-06-11 19:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by ballerina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should at least offer to pay. If you were going on vacation with one of your girlfriends, you would expect her to pay. And with at least offering to pay, you are not going to "owe" him anything.
2007-06-11 19:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by snoopbeckybec 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats not fare, u should try to contribute something. maybe he likes u so much that he wants to pay everything for u. only to please u. but in his mind maybe he'll think i want to win her heart no matter if she is needy.
2007-06-11 19:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋