How do I get over strong emotions?

Question

These are my emoyional issues:

1) My mom is killing herself by smoking and has scar tissue in her lungs that makes it hard to breathe anyway.

2) I might lose my best friend to someone who called my mom a b***h 4 years ago and I can'y get over it.

3) I have no one to talk to in order to get these feelings out

4) Another of my friends doesn't listen too well.

5) People baraging me with "get over it and forget about it" when it's impossible not to.

6) I wonder, after I go to college, if my mom will die and I would not have gotten the chance to tell her "I love you" one last time.

What can I do solve this, aside from seeing a psychologist?

Answer 1

1.) It must be hard to accept and understand why your mother continues to smoke. She probably really does want to be healthier, for your sake, but she might feel powerless. That's what happens when you have an addiction. She is on her own path though, don't forget that. You aren't responsible for her decisions, and you can't control her journey in life. One of the best things you can do here is to respect and love herself -- that's a gift to yourself and your mother.

2.) I think you might just be at an age where friendships (alliances?) can change a lot, sometimes quickly, and often painfully. Really the best remedy is accepting that it's happened, and, deciding how you will move forward. If you believe that YOU are a good friend to others, move ahead proudly and find new people to relate to.

3.) Is there really no one to talk to, or are you afraid to trust someone with your feelings? You might be surprised by an adult at your school, or one somewhere else that has some sense of who you are? Are you able to get to a health clinic of some sort? Some areas have people who you can talk to, and they won't charge you much, if anything. Seeing a counselor of some sort isn't necessarily a huge commitment. Sometimes just one conversation with someone who is trained to listen and provide positive feedback can go a long way toward changing your perspective and your attitude.

4.) Is this a friend that you can ask to try to listen better? Sounds like you really need a friend to talk to, whether it's about serious issues, feelings, fears, or fun stuff that makes you laugh -- is this friend an option if you specifically ask for their input, or just their ear?

5.) Yea, not very helpful is it? That's how most, if not all, of these people deal with their own stuff, for better or worse. If that doesn't work for you, sometimes or always, that's okay. That's who you are, and finding other people more like yourself will help -- those might be friends your age, adults you relate to, professionals you might talk to (like a psychologist).

6.) My mother was very ill when I left for college, and that made it hard for me to leave home. It's a scary thing, and fear is a very powerful emotion. Accept it's there, and practice reassuring yourself that you and your mom are going to be okay, regardless of what happens. Talk to her about how you feel sometime, if you think she is open to that.

Answer 2

You are allowed to have strong emotions! Why should you get over them? Your mom is hurting herself and you can be angry over her actions, but love her because she is your mom.
You can always tell her you love her- write it or say it, however you are most comfortable. And do not let her actions stop you from succeeding in your goals. Do not follow in her footsteps, learn from her example and don't smoke!
As to point # 2, I don't understand. Is your mom a b***h? If not, then don't obsess about a stupid opinion.
How we feel about our moms is complicated and personal. They are not perfect, just human beings doing the best they can with what is in front of them. They have their own histories that guide their behaviors and may not reach the realm of "perfection" for their kids, as much as they may wish they could.
The solution is to do better than she does. It is the hope of most moms I know that their children surpass their station in life and do better. Learn from her mistakes and try not to make the same ones.

Answer 3

i might want to pass with a normal one yet what`s the sense of that? considering that I easily have about a six way tie for the authentic useful emotion, i provide you with one you probably by no ability theory-about as an emotion, that of understanding. i will do an similar for the negative end of the dimensions the position I easily have a 5 way tie and choose powerlessness. both one among those are slightly perplexing, that's to assert that i'm easily picking powerlessness to be my maximum useful negative emotion and that's as negative because it may get even as i'm using understanding as a backdrop or evaluation. you could now see the position the expression `understanding is ability` comes from. Cheers!

Answer 4

Try not to think of depressing things...I know it is too hard but but you should take care of your mom too. You need to atleast hide your stress for her sake.
Talk to your mom very normally as if everything is fine and spend more time with her.
Dont care about people who have abandoned you and try to find good friends. Do things that will make your mom happy and avoid talking or doing anything that will remind her of that person. Its not worth worrying about a person who does not care for you.

Write all your problems in your diary everyday if you cant tell anyone.
Take care...

Answer 5

One of the things that has helped me "get over" strong emotions is sitting meditation. Here is a good website that will describe what I mean by sitting meditation. Many times accepting the emotion and experiencing the emotion in a passive and observant way will help you notice and learn what that emotion is all about. Many times you may find that the emotion will be transient and move to other kinds of emotions.

Answer 6

just make you mom feel happy and show her you love her before you go off to collage. as for you friend i know its hard when you lose a friend but there are always more they arent worth the stress they cause you. and as for the person that offended your mom she is the bigger one b***h. if you really like your friend just tell them how you feel and if they are truly your friend they will stay by your side. good luck^_^

Answer 7

send every moment you can with your mom. I really do not know what to tell you about the other issues your having.seek professional help for your other issues.

Answer 8

it seems to me you become too attached to certain problems in your life. you think about them too often. if you have a problem with your mom about smoking... sit down and talk to her about it and tell her how you don't want to lose her, if you really lay down your emotions to her she might quit smoking.