What can i do when nothing is going to make me happy and back to the girl i used to be?

Question

I cant see anything helping me, i have screwed up my life and in the process killed the real me, i lived overseas and have now returned and i no longer feel at home here, but my home overseas no longer exists, i have a friend living up north adn could move there but that is not going to help me, i cant get any good jobs here that i will enjoy, i have no friends and no boyfriend and no matter whre i go now or what i do i dont feel it is going to help me as i have turned into this horrible selfish person and screwed any friendships i did have, if i move somewhre else i will be alone which would normally be fine if you were moving for a job or something or if you really wanted ot move nothing can fix the past and therefore anything i do now is not going ot make me happy, i am doomed, i am on anti depressants and seeinga counsellor but no one understands as i am the only one who has lived my life, and has now stuffed it up, i have no idea what to do now?

Answer 1

change your attitude. i read 'i can't,' 'i can't,' 'that is not going to help,' 'i can't.' those statements create your outlook on life and where can you go in life if you say you can't go anywhere?

take a couple days to just relax and think about what you would like to do. no pressure to do anything, simply relax and think. your counselor may understand this idea.

Answer 2

You're right - you can't change the past. Nothing you can do about it. But what you DO have control of is the present. You DO have a chance at a better future.

If you think you've become selfish, then stop being so self-absorbed. Look for ways to help others. Volunteer; do some community service. If you have the money, look for a charity organization to make a small donation to. Clean out your closet and give clothes that you don't wear anymore to the Salvation Army. In a word, GIVE. Give something of whatever resources you have - time, money, energy, whatever. It is a very rewarding way to teach yourself to think about the good of other people.

If you feel guilty about past relationships that you have ruined, then think about ways that you could make amends. If you said something hurtful to a friend, or even if you consistently pushed her away for a period of time, call her and apologize. Don't expect anything in return from her; don't do it selfishly, but just apologize because you think it's what she deserves. Apologize to her, forgive yourself, be cleansed, and move on.

You have obviously not "killed the real you." If you had killed the real you, then there would be nothing inside you to be upset over all this. The real you is not selfish, right? Well if the real you is dead, then you wouldn't CARE that you've become a selfish person. You obviously still have values, still have a conscience, still have ideas about who you are, because if you didn't have those things you'd be happy as a clam right now. The fact that you are experiencing such distress clearly shows that the real you is still in there.

So why not start being yourself again? You can't change the past, and focusing on the past is just going to ruin your present and steal your future. Leave yesterday behind. Embrace today.

Right now, today, is really the only thing you can control. And while you may not be able to snap and make things right again overnight, you can take a step in the right direction every single day if you choose to, and before long you'll look up to see a whole new life all around you.

Yes, you are the only one who has lived your life, so in a sense you are the only one who understands. But what's wrong with that? I'm the only one who understands my life. Everyone is responsible for themselves, dear one. If other people really could understand fully, would that change anything? Only YOU can change your life, so really you're the only one who needs to understand it fully. And although no one can see things through your eyes, many other people have been through hardships similar to yours. You are not the only one who has been through hard times. So be encouraged that you are not alone in all this... there are other people with problems just like you. This is just a part of the ebb and flow of life. There are good times, and there are bad times. Some times are amazing, some are horrible. But the rain falls and the sun shines on everyone. This is just a part of life and if you can rise above your difficult circumstances and use them as a tool to grow, instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, then your hard times can become a great blessing.

Now I'm not at all saying that your pain is a good thing. But if you can take this negative and draw something positive out of it, then you will have grown as a person and that growth may very well benefit you for the rest of your life. Ask yourself this: What can I learn from these circumstances? What have I learned about myself? What have I learned about others? What can I learn about life in general to help myself avoid the same pitfalls in the future?

The harsh reality is, everyone has the life that they CHOOSE to have. So if your current choices aren't creating a life that you like, simply start making different choices. Maybe moving to a new city for a job would be a good fresh start for you. You could start looking for jobs that you would love right now, and when you find one that fits you perfectly, move to that place and start a new life. It's never too late for a second chance. Maybe right now it's time for yours.

Answer 3

Things happen in our lives that change who we are. We have all gone through this so dont feel so alone. I know its hard. I spent many years trying to find the person I used to be before my life experiences... but what i was really doing was wasting my time cause that girl was gone and I was sad that she was and now I was left with the new me that was jaded and had been hurt... with time I learned to like the new, smarter and wiser me! Im alot stronger now and knowing what i went through in the past and survived makes me feel confident in myself!

Things will get better and your family will accept you for who you are but you have to give them the chance. Drag yourself out of hiding and show the world the new you! Trust me, 10 yrs ago I was going through this and I wished i could move to another country alone and even rented a hotel room rather than going home each night so that no one could find me and i could just be alone. Today I am very happy and have many great relationships with family and friends

Answer 4

Before anyone can help you , you need to WANT to help YOUR SELF

Find a new you, instead of looking for the old you....find new friends and start off fresh.

Take baby steps every day, dont leap forward to make things better

write down a list of improvements you want to make and work on them SLOWLY

remember things do not happen over night

Answer 5

I've been there
6 years ago, I completely lost my life, went into a bi-polar episode, and have since then, not tried much in life, as I never want to feel the lowest zombie feelings anyone could ever know
I try to focus on goals, hobbies, it gets me through the day

Answer 6

yes you can see something helping you...we all mess up everyone of us...reconnect with your family,quit pushing people away....agree no counselor can understand because our shame is to great and too hard to describe...but we were born and have a right to live, and don't ever think you are the only one with problems ....struggle your way out of this doom you have made for yourself,be strong and know I love you

Answer 7

understand what is happiness.A blind man will be happy when he gets eye sight.likewise when u get what you long u r happy.if u r not longing for anything whatever comes is bonus.live a ife without desires.welcome difficulties.Undergo ordeal with smile.Love anythig and anybody.have detached attachment.live like water in the lotus leaf.

Answer 8

The Queen is right

Answer 9

I'm so sorry for your pain. It's all only temporary though.