How can I make my parents let me move to L.A.?

Question

I live in South Orange County right now, which is basically the "nice" safe part. I don't live in a mansion or anything, but it's safe in the part of O.C. where I live. Well, I'm 21 and I mentioned to my parents I'm going to move out in 2 months. My Dad was extremely adament and almost yelling about how he's not going to let me move to L.A.,

The problem is I can't just "move out." i NEED a cosigner, and I could have my brother do it, but my parents are going to find out where I'm living!! It's not as simple as taking my stuff and dashing in the middle of the night.

How can I make my Dad more open to the idea of me moving to L.A.? (this will be the first time I've ever moved out-I'm only 21...so that in itself is jarring to him, and L.A. is like "scary" "shootings" "Danger Danger Danger" in his eyes.

We don't exactly communicate well as it IS, let alone when humongous issues like this have to be discussed.

Answer 1

Its not like your a teenager running away from home to smoke drugs all day, he needs to be more open to your wishes, you are an adult.

Good luck

Answer 2

YOUR father is CORRECT -- LA is VERY Dangerous, and it was definitely a challenge when I was stationed there during my Military Active Duty years -- so much so (in fact) that the stress was off the scale, the cost of living in LA was so high, and the living conditions were not good at all -- much less the danger of gangs, violence and everything else that goes around in LA.

I mention this because there are plenty of SAFER places around the country -- and it also seems that you are not really stable enough to move out anyway -- especially since you need a co-signer for your Rent -- and that is a DEFINITE Sign that you need to have a better idea of your spending habits in order to be prompt on your rent payment, the utilities, the food and everything else that is a necessity for life!

Answer 3

well of course your dad is going to be worried. You are his child, even though you are 21, and it's time you moved out. Maybe compromise with him and move out where you don't need a cosigner. Then prove yourself responsible, establish some credit for yourself and move to L.A. in a year or two. That way you could move there without having to have a cosigner. Your dad also might be more open to the idea once you've proved you can establish yourself and be responsible.

Answer 4

Well, I think you should find out where in LA you wanna live. Show him pictures of the neighborhood on where you will be living and show him pictures of the area on where you will be planning to work. (You can get pics from the Internet to show your Dad.)Explain to him how you feel as if they (your parents) have taught how to be safe and if an emergency were to happen-you know what to do. Also explain how you are 21, an adult and feel as if you are trustworthy enough. Find out what exactly your Dad dislikes about LA and see if you can help him overcome it if it is a sterotype or something that bothers him. If your Mom is on your side, see if you can convince her to talk to your Dad and see if she can win him over onto your side. If your brother is older than you and is on your side, have him talk to your Dad too. I think your Dad will be more open to you moving to LA if you show him pics of the area you plan to reside in, pics of the places around there (restaurants, movie theaters, and other buildings), explain how you feel mature,trustworthy, that you know what to do in case of an emergency and you know how to be safe. Show him the good things about LA and help him realize that yes there is danger in LA but there are places you can live where the violence level isn't so big. (Plus there is violence everywhere-you can't completely get away from it.) Maybe your Dad needs help letting go and if he saw how you plan to support yourself, how serious you are about this and how trustworthy you are-then he will agree to take a chance.

I hope I helped and I wish you the best of luck!!! (I've always wanted to go to LA one day and see what it's like!)

Answer 5

L.A. isn't all bad and dangerous. Find a good place before you up and move out. Get a job in L.A. first if you haven't already. Another option may be to get a live in nanny job through an agency.

Answer 6

I know it probly feels like ur stuck and you cant get ur life going where ur at right now but really youre only 15. Ur still young and got plenty of time to figure out what u really want. The things i want now are not the things I wanted when i was 15 and im 24. Try to enjoy the last few years you have left living with your parents cuz once ur outta the house its never the same and you will miss alot of the things that get taken for granted.

Answer 7

You are in between a rock and a hard place. Your father has valid points as do you. Try explaining to him why you want to go. A job, educaton, explain to him how you are going to afford the apartment, ultities, a phone, ect.

You need to explain to him how he and your mom raised to be confident, responsible, and brave enough to venture out on your own. "I would rather fall on my face while you and mom are around to help me back up then when you aren't." This statement helps show your dad that you realize you will make mistakes and would rather make them while he's around to help pick you help, then wait until he's gone and have to learn on your own.

Try asking him, his opinion and how he would handle it? Ask him where he would like you to reside, why, and if he would to be willing to help you move to that area. Even if you don't want to know his opinion, he is older, wiser and he's been 21 before. By aqsking his opinion you are making him feel important and you being more mature by asking for advice.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Explain to him that you are growing up and it is time that you made your own decisions, even if they are bad ones you are going to have to learn on your own. Also tell him that you are going to move there and he can be a great dad and help his daughter or he can be stubborn and fight, but your going anyhow.

Answer 9

your dad has legitimate concerns and cares about you but you are old enough to make your own choice as well. as long as you have a good job and support yourself your family will get used to the idea its never easy for a parent to let go....

Answer 10

It would depend on why you want to move to LA. If you're going to UCLA, that's different. If you just want to join the party scene, I don't think any parent will agree.