how do you get a child of 4 yrs old to stop cursing and not listening?

Question

my daughter became a step mother of two children a few months ago the little boy curses something awful and will not listen, I told her to do time out with hime it does not work any ideas?

Answer 1

do not respond to the cursing except to calmly say something like "I don't hear you when you use those words; they are not words that children need to use".

not listening? Good luck...not sure that ever goes away. Reward good behavior with praise and maybe a small earned prize weekly if it's a terrible situation and the child responds to that type of motivation. The prize could be a special outing, a special game at home, a small toy, a special meal of their choice...whatever might work for that child.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Start a reward chart. Put up a sticker for every day she doesn't curse. Tell her if she goes one whole day without cursing, you'll go to the park (or whatever reward you choose). After she's gone one full day without cursing, then move to two days in order to earn the reward....and so on.

After she's gone a full month without cursing, then have a little "party" with the family to celebrate her clean mouth!

You'll have to do this for several months before she'll get the hang of it (It takes 27 days to undo a habit)....so be patient and vigilant!

Continue consequences for when she does curse (one minute in time out for each year of age she is, away from toys and distractions and your attention) Do not engage her in conversation while in time out...completely ignore her. Afterwards, make sure she apologizes to you for cursing and tell her that you love it when she says nice words instead of naughty ones.

Also, be sure to inform her which words are "no no" words. If she's allowed to curse at the other parent's house, she may not know any better.

Answer 3

When he cusses have he needs to tell her three other appropriate ways to say what he feels.

As far as the not listening, make privileges and take away privileges. This will be fought for at least the next 14 years.

But she's the "new mom". She's not their real mom and she's all of the sudden in their lives and house. It takes children a long time to adjust. Also her husband needs to support her and let the kids know that he supports her. They may want to look into a book on how to help children after divorce and remarriage.

Answer 4

Children mirror what they see in adult behavior. Obviously the kids learn this from there other environment.

She & their dad (this needs to be a united front) Need to sit the kids down and explain to them that there are rules at your house that are different at Mom's house. Make a reasonable list of rules and the conquences of breaking them. The punish need not be huge, like being grounded for 10 weeks. It needs to be something like NO Game Boy for the next two hours. Or when the other kids play outside in the water, he is not going to do it . You need to be reasonable and absolutly consistant. If you lag once, the kids will push and push you until they make you crack

As for the non listening kid. It sounds like he has behavior problems and might have learning disabililties. Encourage he be tested. Most likely he feels that his voice isn't ever heard and he has not learned the courtsy rules of conversation. Explain this to him during an alone time and at a time where he isn't being naughty. He just might be starving for attention, especially his dad's.
sit down and explian what a conversation is. Not interrupting. No swear words. Be polite.Listen and be able to say back to the person what that person has just said. you can make a game of it.

First the child needs to fee like what it is like to be listened to.
Tell child that he can pick a subject and he will talk and you will listen. If he has a hard time with the subject, then ask him questions. When he is done.....you can say to him.........
"this is what I heard you say..........................'
If he is listened to, he will start listening. He will find that what he says is valued.

Make a list of bad words that arn't allowed in your house.
Ask your hubby to speak to his X about this. YOU should NEVER be the go between your husband and his X.
List the words and the conquences for saying them.
If the child doesn't co operate then there are more conquences. But, I recommend that you put them in writting. Even if the kid doesn't read, he will be aquainted with the rules and conquences because you have read them to hoim ocassionally.

When it comes to kids punish ment, they are all different.
When I sent my boys to their rooms for time out, they loved it.
When I sent my daughter to her room she hated it. Thus I needed something different to punish the boys with.

I hope this helps and I do hop that your husband is in favor or this plan. The adults need to be a united front.

These lessons will help shape the people these kids will become to be.

Answer 5

Okay, this is going to sound mean, but a teenie little bit of tabasco sauce does the trick. You warn him first, of course, and if he keeps it up, put a tiny bit of tabasco sauce on your finger and stick it in his mouth. Let him fester in it for a few minutes, then give him some water.

The nice thing is that when you go to restaurants and they bring the tabasco sauce over, the kid will sit still and not make a peep!

Answer 6

Suggest that she talk with her husband about disciplining the child. That's his responsibility as well as the biological mama. He's toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo SPOILED!

Answer 7

Put tape over his mouth. I remember one of my aunts used to do this to her kids. I don't know if it helped them, but it scared the hell out of me when I was little. I would never have dreamed then of mouthing off.

Answer 8

He's doing it because it gets a rise out of her. Time out's DO work but they have to be consistent. She needs to continue with them is all. Also his father needs to be on board in helping...All you mentioned was your daughter, where is this boy's father at why isn't HE disiplining HIS son?

Answer 9

Wash his mouth out with soap. : ) My mother did it to me. It worked like a charm.

Answer 10

tell her to be repetitive. and to watch what others say around the child. kids learn by example and if thats what they hear, thats what they will say. whenever he cusses have her say a substitute word, and try to make it funny.