He is well liked and has friends but these friends seem to constantly pick on him.He is not as strong as the others.Do you think I should get him stronger so he can stick up for himself better.Advice appreciated.He will not stick up forhimself or fight back.Maybe he feels he is to weak.
2007-06-11 14:37:51 · 12 answers · asked by leadfoot 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
You should probably help him boost his self-esteem. Telling the teacher is never a good idea because then the teacher makes a big fuss about it. You should mainly focus on talking to your son and maybe, in time, he will defend himself. Usually sports or interactive activities get children to open themselves up. Not to mention achievements, such as winning games, being able to do homework on their own or even joining artistic classes like music or art.
2007-06-11 14:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by emely h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is reporting to you that he is being bullied you will need to make an appointment with the Principal and get it stopped right away. Training a kid to fight etc. will not solve the problem for him. The problem is those kids who are doing the hitting. Your son can become depressed, even suicidal in a very short period of time if being bullied. His grades could suffer and he could drop out. Let the Principal deal with the kids, your responsibility is to your son and his mental and physical well-being. An area boy was being pushed back and forth by kids in a park, he passed out, and no one knew what to do or to go for help. He died as a result of "playing around." Most kids are unable to stick up for themselves when there is multiple bullies. He may call them friends, but they are causing him harm. If you don't get anywhere with the Principal, call a school board member and tell them you are calling the police to have the kids picked up at school and that you are hiring a lawyer because of the negligence of the school in stopping bullying. You don't have to sit and agonize over this problem. You have rights and actions to take. Best of luck to you and your son!
2007-06-11 21:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the others that you should try to get him involved in activities that will boost hils confidence, such as sports, music, etc. By increasing his confidence in himself it may help him to feel more like he can stick up for himself, because he feels that he is worthy of his friends respect. I would not talk to the school unless it gets completely out of hand. Also take cues from your son, does he seem upset by the kids picking on him? Does he feel that it is just friendly teasing or more? I hope this helps, and good luck.
2007-06-11 22:02:42 · answer #3 · answered by erin_pie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest asking your son if he wants to invite his friends swimming, to a restaurant, bowling,the gym, someplace where you can observe the guys interacting.
Then after you see what exactly is or isn't happening, go on from there. Boys/girls have odd ways of trying to get our attention. If he lacks self-esteem, you can help in that area by saying positive statements when he says negative about himself. He is at an awkward age, trying to fit in.
If he is shy and needs some confidence, team sports and other ideas mentioned, would be great.
Believe it or not, horseplay is normal among guys. Some guys will do what you may call picking until they are adults and it is all meant as a joke. Just don't say anything to embarrass him in front of his friends.
2007-06-11 22:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by kriend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of things:
1. Try getting him enrolled in something he likes that will boost his self-esteem. Maybe karate or something like that which will help him feel stronger, and give him confidence.
2. If he is being bullied, report it to the school. I disagree with the poster who said not to get his teahcers involved. You can email or call his teachers (or one you trust) and ask them to keep an eye on things and give you a heads up, without asking them to intervene. Sometimes, things aren't as bad as they seem, and an objective view might do some good.
3. Talk to your son and get a clear picture of what's going on, and give him some suggestions on how to handle things.
4. Invite the kids to your house for a movie and root beer floats or something and see how they interact together.
Good luck!
2007-06-11 23:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok.....
I am telling you. I have dealed with this. My school even scheduled an event for bullying but everything the person said WOULD NOT work. Like saying whatever or running away from the bully. You need for your son to make a BEST friend and stick with that friend and have them stick up for each other. t=That should work, if that does not, then talk to his TEACHERS. But, make sure his name is not mentioned if this subject is going to be discussed with the class.
Tell him to read "the misfits". even if it includes some stuff that is gross it is a good book about people sticking up in what they believe in.
Good Luck!!
2007-06-12 00:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help him build up his confidence, he probably lets his friends pick on him because he worries they won't like him if he speaks up. Common 12-14 year old behavior. Talk to him, see how he feels about the situation-maybe he sees it as just goofing around, and thinks you are over-reacting. Maybe see if he would like to get involved in a summer activity such as Karate, music, swimming, what-ever his interests are (and let him tell his friends "my mom/dad made me"), and see if this helps build up his confidence so next year things will be a little different. Most importantly, don't embarrass him!!!
2007-06-11 21:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by inthemidwest 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to teach him to stick up for himself, if he doesn't learn how to this will continue and fester and become something it doesn't have to become. He doesn't have to be violent or mean just confrontational, he has to set a boundary stand his ground and follow through. He has to apply that what ever way best resolves the situation. If they are picking on him he needs to tell them he doesn't like it and they need to stop or he wont be around them anymore. If they are his friends they will stop if not they were never is friends to begin with.
2007-06-11 21:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by tos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait. Why is he friends with the kids that pick on him? If they are friends they are probably teasing in a friendly manner, not meaning to hurt his feelings. Sometimes a simple "Hey, man knock it off" will let his friends know its a touchy subject and not up for playful teasing.
2007-06-11 22:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well i was in 6Th grader when it happened to me but I'm a girl so he-he i don't know but My mom called the school and talked to the Principal and told him what was going on so he watched to see if anything was happening!so i think you should do that or call there parents and if that don't stop go to the school because when they did that to me at school it hurt me so bad i was crying i dint want to go to school.so my mom called and it stoped and were friends! now well some of us are now!but hes in middle school its the worst part of your school life your body's changing and stuff and you got all the girls and stuff. did you ask him why there doing this?
well need help just ask!
2007-06-12 03:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋