What can I do about an UNREASONABLY strict daddy?

Question

I am 16 and somewhat spoiled, but nowhere as much I used to be. Daddy used to let me do almost whatever I want and now he is UNREASONABLY strict, frequently taking away my internet, reducing my allowance, threatening to take off his belt when I talk back, even making me get a summer job, although that's not too bad. He said he needed to take control because my best friend's lunatic mom, his temperamental ex gf, my English teacher with the rage control problem and my volatile vice principal all said I was acting like I was EXTREMELY spoiled. How can I make things like they used to be?

Thank you and good day,

My GPA is 3.85 out of 4. Thank you and good day.

My mother is deceased. We really miss her, but daddy says that I am not allowed that as an excuse for being extremely spoiled. Thank you and good day.

bsb the model christian is again full of hate. Thank you and good day.

Victoria - yes it was mooning but it is debatable as to whether mooning is EXTREMELY inappropriate or something that spoiled girls do, at least not until you have tried it.

Gussie, Victoria and crc I missed all of you too. My daddy (and I WILL CONTINUE CALLING him THAT) took away my computer privvies for two weeks so I was not on for a bit. But now I am back so that Y!A can get a taste of SPOILED girls once again. Thank you and good day.

Victoria - my daddy will not allow me to enable the e-mail or IM so I cannot contact Emawee. This is EXTREMELY disconcerting. I really miss her SOOO much.

Thank you and good day.

Victoria - it sounds like you have an EXTREMELY big crush on Emawee!

Answer 1

If all of those people are saying that you're acting that way...is it possible that you are and just don't notice it? Show your father how responsible that you can be and that you're not really the spoiled brat that everyone is making you out to be. The first step to maturity...STOP TALKING BACK!! That in itself shows that you're immature (of course you are..you're 16 and a kid-nothing wrong with that, except you're trying to show how mature you are). Learn how to express your disagreement in a mature way, let him say what he has to say and then respond, but don't whine and be a smart a** about it. Say what you have to say respectfully. There's nothing wrong with having a summer job, at least that way you'll have your own money and it will show him how responsible you are. good luck.

P.S. there's nothing wrong with calling your dad daddy...I'm grown and on my own and I still call my daddy daddy....people are just haters

Answer 2

Lori, where have you been?? I've been sooo bored without you and Em here!

Anyway, I'd go to your dad maturely and tell him that you were very different just a few months ago. Cite specific examples, like something you used to do that was very spoiled or an incident like...wasn't it mooning or something?? I don't remember....correct me if I'm wrong, but there was something that was very innapropriate. Point out that your GPA is 3.85 out of 4. Mention that charm school has made a huge difference in your life. Mention anything that will help you argue your case.

Then, come prepared with a list of priviliges that you used to have and what you did to deny yourself of them. Pick a few that are most important and discuss in a non-argumentative manor why it is that you feel you deserve these rights. Be prepared with some points and reasons and backup debates in case he comes up with some reason he disagrees.

Don't expect that he'll completely let go of power with one discussion. Bring up a few things that have been hardest for you and try those first. Then, go back for the slightly less important stuff.

Oh, and one more thing: the reason people are getting on your case about calling your dad "daddy" is because it is often associated with spoiled girls, such as in the movie Clueless. I completely disagree: my cousin, my mother, lots of people I know, my sister, myself, we all call (or called) our fathers daddy. There's nothing wrong with that!

Thanks for clarifying the mooning thing...I completely get it now. Such a shame you can't talk to her. I have her myspace, and I've looked at her picture like a million times. So I feel a little more like I'm talking to a person.

Best wishes!! (or thank you and good day....)
//\\//\\//\\//

Answer 3

Be compassionate towards your father. Having lost your mother, he will naturally be more protective of you. You're all he has left of her, in a sense. Do the best you can to please him, and don't expect things will always be the same. The universe is an ever-changing process. Try to put yourself in his place, and be patient. It's only two more years, or less, and you'll no longer be a minor in the eyes of the law. At that time, you can go out, get a job or a mate, and live your own life. But, go easy on your dad... he misses her a lot, and sees her in you.

Answer 4

One way is to start acting more mature, taking on responsibility to show you are worthy of trust.
-clean up after yourself
-help around the house
-be respectful
-of course, keep up the good grade,
-spend time with him and talk (friendship)
He need to see you are being a good person. This includes not asking and bugging and begging for less restrictions. Let him see and decide for himself for a while.

If not change after a few months, then ask about more freedom. Be specific about what you want.

Answer 5

Maybe because you ARE spoiled. You gave it away when you called your Dad your DADDY?!?! That's kinda weird. If all these people are making the same allegations about you, then it's probably 100% true. You need to grow up, because you aren't going to get everything you want when you're old enough to know better!

Answer 6

Hi Lori,nice to see you back again.Unless you have a magic wand you cannot turn back the hands of time.I have a suspicion that even somewhat spoiled girls do not have one.Trust me when I say most parents want the best for their children.It is not easy to be a parent of a teenager .You are trying to spread your wings and express your individuality and your dad is trying to provide structure for you.Be thankful your dad loves you enough to care what you do.Just think of the teen years as growing pains.Take responsibility for your choices and your dad will be proud of you.Take care.

Answer 7

ahhh the ever present problem of growing up. There is not a whole lot you can do except to obey his rules, and usually if you do that you stay out of trouble. Where is your mother, doesn't she have a say in what you can and cannot do? Usually a strict parent is just obsessed with keeping you safe. Not entirely a bad thing.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you've won the lottery of fathers. You got one who really cares about you. Following his rules might be irritating, but you're a lot better off than those girls whose fathers don't even know their names and birthdays.

The only thing you can do to entice him to back off is prove that you're not the spoiled child people are telling him you are.

And while you're at it, tell him you appreciate all he does and the fact that he cares. It's not easy rearing a teenager on his own. Hopefully you'll never have to experience that yourself, but you never know.

Answer 9

Well once the spoiled-ness stops its all over. Your dads not being strict, hes just asking like the other parents. You want to see strict see my dad! Anyway just start to talk to him like a civilized adult, on a one on one level. Things wont be the same but they sure as my aunt Milly will be better.

Answer 10

That's not bad AT ALL. "Spare the rod and spoil the child." You sound like the typical spoiled brat and you need to learn a lesson. Maybe he is trying to teach you something.