my husbands niece calls his ex aunt I have been with him 24 years. don't i have reason to be mad?

Question

the niece was only 4 years old ( she is now 31)and has not been around the ex for the past 26 years. She will readily tell you she has no memory of that marriage. It lasted only 2 and a half years.. I feel she shows me disrespect to all of a sudden start refering to this woman as aunt after all I am her uncles wife. her uncle and i lived together 18 years before marrying so she has always refered to me by my first name ( not aunt). At what point are we no longer related after divorce? I feel if we're related by marriage the divorce ends the relationship

Answer 1

For some reason your husband's niece doesn't want to recognize you as her Aunt. She probably does vaguely at age 4 remember her Uncles first wife, or has been told by a member of the family that you are the 2nd Wife of her Uncle. I think that she is totally out of line, and for whatever reason she doesn't recognized you as her Aunt, and calls you by your first name. That is without question very dis-respectful, I really don't care what her reasoning is. She is 31, and I would guess your in your early 40's. The age closeness may have something to do with it, but it is still dis-respectful. The only chance you have that may sway her to respect you is to sit down together and explain to her just how you feel. She is 31 now so she should be easy to talk to and open-minded enough to understand how you feel. If she shows you anger, and signs of disrespect then I woul avoid her for good. There is no sense of you wasting good energy on someone who doesn't espect you for who you are. Sorry we don't have a magic wand. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Sincerely...I wouldn't let it get to me. Unless your husband calls her his 'wife'...who cares what his niece calls her? If she had ever called this woman 'aunt'...it might be hard to start calling her something different. Divorce DOES end the relationship between husband and wife, but if my aunt and uncle divorced...I'd still refer to my uncle (who is by marriage) as 'uncle'.

Answer 3

You are taking it too personally. Just because people get divorced doesn't mean family members disappear. Everyone in my family gets divorced and remarried. I have about 7 aunts that are no longer married to my uncles, but they are all still "Aunt so and so." Hell, one of them lives with my biological aunt, her ex-sister in law.

You can't expect people to just forget.

Answer 4

She is being disrespectful and, though many do not call their aunts and uncles by that title, she is trying to get under your skin for some reason. Just ignore her and do not pay attention to her when your husband invites her over.

Answer 5

you really dont have any controll or even a right to be angry because she wants to call her ex aunt...aunt because the divorce doesnt have anything to do with how she feels for this woman...i think the real problem is ur feeling slighty jealous because she doesnt feel you the connection with you

Answer 6

grow up. Does it really matter if she wants to contact the ex. Like you said you have been with him for 24 years so that is what matters. The more you object the more she will want to find out about the ex.

Answer 7

ya that is harsh..the only reason that she should be called aunt is if the relationship ened nicely and she is still involved in the family...other then that...hell no and I would be pissed.

Answer 8

no u shouldnt be mad because his ex is still his neices aunt... u cant break apart family.

Answer 9

If she's not calling you Dogbreath, why do you care? There's more going on here than you're telling, isn't there?

Answer 10

Yes you do ! i would be too if i were you.