What do you think of these?

Question

These 16 police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going!? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm theshift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

I will post the rest shortly

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corndogs and step in monkey
poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."!
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS..

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

Answer 1

I think that I've heard them before.

You left out, Where were you born, and why?.

Answer 2

I'd have to just say no, I mean, if a person can't take hairspray or a bottle of shampoo on board these days I would have to think that a metallic object would not be allowed either. Grrrr! (((Go8tm))) Dangit! I used all my brains cells in the last question, I am clueless! Yeah, I know, big surprise, lol! : / Let me take yet another guess, is it lead from a pencil? Lol, this little pencil is looking at me in this box talking about "Oops! It looks like you have 4 misspelling(s). HA! No I don't,..do I? Question,...Can it reflect anything like light or whatever?

Answer 3

that's why everybody loves cops. not, can't stand cops violating people's rights besides I'm a cops worst nightmare.
I'm a constitutionalists. witch means if a authority violates my rights they must pay for it. ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Commercial Lien Strategy (CLS) whereby common citizens, without the aid of lawyers or Courts, can induce government officials to actually~llv obey the law they have sworn to uphold.

Some oaths of office are a statement of loyalty to a constitution or other legal text or to a person or other office-holder (e.g., an oath to support the constitution of the state, or of loyalty to the king). Under the laws of a state it may be considered treason or a high crime to betray a sworn oath of office. police take the oath then forget about it. or just don't know what it means.

Answer 4

I'm not really sure how to respond. At first, I find the voyeuristic pleasure of reading how cops insult _other_ people kind of charming. Then I start to realize that most of these could be said to me or to people I care about - at that point it becomes a lot less funny. I think that cops are people too, and that sometimes they pull off a funny line and sometimes they cross a line - as do we all. But if you're a police officer the stakes are much higher: they're literally involved in life and death issues on a daily basis. I'm left much more confused than I am amused.

Answer 5

typical of the stuff you;ll hear from the idiots in blue. they don;t do as much, as you think they do.the donut shop thing pretty much fits a day of a cop.their never there when you need them.sometimes never even answer their calls.that depends what department you work for.drink and drive but hide behind the badge when caught.lets just say been there done that.alot of these young punks like to be called police offices.but don;t know how to do the job,or like being told what to do.they think they have all the answers.that;s why alot of people don;t respect them anymore.i;am just telling the truth.

Answer 6

Very interesting, I was married to a State Patrolman( an ace) he was the meanest man on earth. So don't think just because they're police that they are nice or that they actually obey the law. The worst driver on the planet, too! Oh, and think for themselves! Not all of them, it just put me in mind of him, I mean, it. He used to say oh, you're feeling sick? I guess I'll have to have you put to sleep! Hilarious?

Answer 7

You have listed some police comments that seem to come from the police officers in my neck of the woods.

Answer 8

I love #1 and #5. I got this in an email recently and sent it to some of my officer friends where I used to work. And who said officers don't have a sense of humor? lol Thanks for sharing.

Answer 9

Funny!! I'll send that to my bosses son in law who is chief of police in a nearby town.

Answer 10

Funny

Answer 11

These are *great*! If I got pulled over & my cop said some of this stuff to me, I wouldn't be able to do anything else but laugh - alot! ; )