Almost 5 year old who almost never eats what we are eating or finish dinner?

Question

He's almost 5. His Mother has raised him on Fried/Fast food. I rarely do fast food. If its not covered in batter and deep fried or in a TV tray. He won't eat it. I have tried everything. Stickers for finishing eating, toys for finishing eating. If he doesn't like something or doesn't want to eat it he sits at the table forever and plays with it or asks to go to the potty then goes somewhere else. I have let him get away with this, but then he comes back and asks for a PB & J sandwich. I am not making 4 different meals at my house for 4 different people. Help me figure out what to do to get him to eat.

Answer 1

As a mother of 4 (2 grown) and a foster mom to 54 and counting, I am so thankful for a parenting class that my husband and I took that dealt with this topic many years ago.
Basically, it all boils down to ...
"your job is finished when you put the food on the table"
This lil' guy will eventually eat when he is hungry
It is not your job to make him eat.
He may not want to eat anything and you just say o.k.
Let him know that this is dinner and if he doesn't want to eat then that is fine but that you will not give him anymore food until the next meal.
Currently we have a lil 3 yr. old foster child and he doesn't like most fruits and vegetables. (Like your lil' one, I don't think he has ever had them) But I put a little spoonful on his plate even if I know he won't eat it. Studies show that children need to be introduced to a food 20 times before they will try it.
We have had him for 4 months and last week he started eating some fruits and just yesterday I saw him try a pea. (but I didn't say anything, and I don't think he even knew that saw him)
Give him time, it may take a while but taking the pressure off of yourself and him will make meal time more enjoyable.

Answer 2

I have 7 grown kids, 14 grandkids. My philosophy with food was "You snooze you lose". Every kid got the same items on their plate. We were far, far from rich and there was seldom second servings so what was in front of you was what you got.
Now here is the scenario.

A child says I don't like this (points to an item) I would ask , "Who wants Randy's corn?" Then I quickly would remove the corn from the plate and give it to the person who wanted it.

Each rejected item is removed from his plate and GIVEN to someone else. When supper is over it is over. Do not withhold the desert. Also do not withhold any snack other family members get later. No bribes, no prizes, just supper and the same stuff that everyone else has. No choices. You put on his plate what everyone else is eating. When everyone else is done, he is done. Pick up the plate and leave the table. Keep your voice even and just a matter of fact.

The first few nights his plate may get pretty empty ( that is why I didn't withhold snack or desert). Supper is the point. Work on only one major issue at a time or you will wear yourself out. Good luck.

Answer 3

You certainly have a dilemma. A lot of it has to do with the familiar. Kids don't like to eat things that aren't familiar. I agree that he shouldn't be eating a lot of fried, greasy foods, it sets a bad habit up for life. You shouldn't have to cook "special" meals just so he'll eat, but you might have a little luck with making your food look like "fast food". When you cook chicken for example, cut it in strips or in nugget size pieces and bake it. The same with potatoes! Cut them up like fries and oven bake it. Give him veggie sticks and let him dip them in dressing, sauce, or vanilla yogurt!! I've seen kids eat up veggies and fruit dipped in yogurt. He just needs a little to add the fun flavor that kids like. You can make meals look like it's "fast food" by using individual cups/containers for each item, such as small glad ware or ziplock containers. Use small decorated lunch bags or divided plates. Have him sit at the table with everyone else and let him know that he can't leave the table till the last person is finished. Just the act of sitting there and he'll maybe get hungry and try something. When you do fix his meals in a fun way, fix everyones the same. Many times when my kids were little we played "restuarant" and ordered meals off a menu that I had made, using left overs. They loved that. If I had no left overs, I cooked a planned meal and used that in the same way, giving them choices of different fruit, veggies and healthy drinks. I also told my kids that they had to eat at least 3 bites of everything before leaving the table. That way I knew they were at least eating something. If they left the table without eating...which was rare cause I used the three bite method...I saved their meal and would heat it up if they came back wanting to eat. No special meals! You also might want to make sure he gets a good chewable vitamin every day. Good luck!

Answer 4

You sound like me. I'm in the same situation w/ my 5 yr. old son. He sure loves those pb & j sandwhiches though. He is a very picky eater too. I gave in to the pb & j sandwhiches b/c I rather he eat something than nothing at all. After awhile my husband and I got tired of making food that he wasnt eating. It was a waste of food. We were constantly getting up having to keep getting him something to eat b/c he was picking at his food. So what we did and still do is whenever we make something whether he likes it or not he has to eat it. Otherwise he is sent to his room. I dont know about your son but my doesnt like being in the room by himself. Plus we both know he's hungry b/c he's saying he is. He couldnt leave the tabel until we saw that he ate a good portion of his meal. I'd even sit w/ him. I didnt want my kid starving but I didnt want him living off just PB & J sandwhiches either. Kids can be picky eaters and sometimes it's a struggle w/ them to eat the right kinds of foods. But it's up to us parents to keep on them about it.

Answer 5

This is what you do; place food in front of him, if he refuses it, cover it, place it in the fridge and wait for the next meal. At the next meal, remove the plate, uncover the plate, warm the food up and place it in front of him again. If he refuses - just keep repeating the process until he finally eats it (DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY OTHER FOOD BETWEEN MEALS AND DO NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING ELSE TO EAT DURING MEAL TIME). When he gets hungry - he will eat and he will eat anything place in front of him. You have to show him who the boss is and that's NOT him!!!
My daughter-in-law did this with all three of her girls. Now, at meals, they eat their veggies first, meat next and then the potatoes or pasta. No drinks and no bread during meals. After they are finished with their meal - then they can have bread and liquids.
This will work (as long as he's only living with you). It is a proven process. Now, if he goes back and forth, from you to his mom - then you will have some problems because it will only work if he lives with one person.

Answer 6

He will eventually eat, and you would be surprised at how little he will need to eat to thrive. Just make sure he takes a vitamin and that he drinks a lot. Watch his weight carefully and if he loses a single lb., then surrender to the pb&j for a few days. My sister & brother both have picky eater sons and sometimes the only thing they eat for dinner is bread, but don't give in, as they get older they will try more if you train them.

Answer 7

be firm tell him if he does not eat when and what the family eats ...then he can go hungry...do this once or twice and he will break his little tantrum as soon as he realizes your serious.If he wants to go from the table..make him either stand in the corner until dinner is done and then go directly to bed or sit and eat his food...no other options...dont let him sit in the bathroom and play... I had the same problem with my two stepsons and it didnt last long when their little bellies were grumblin all night long..yes they complained all night but I didnt give in and they went one night without food and havent given me trouble since...if the dad gives you a bad time....and he wont help...go on strike...let him do it all -including dishes...and you kick back and watch the fun...did that too. Now 8 years later he does the dinners when they are here and they do the dishes and I kick back and dont have a worry....in fact, they wait on me....works great.

Answer 8

try this recipe. Calories: 142 only

Chip Chicken Lollipops

INGREDIENTS

4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves - cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 egg
2 tablespoons milk
2 cups crushed potato chips
lollipop sticks from a craft or party store

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease a baking sheet.

Crush potato chips onto a plate. In a large bowl, whisk together egg and milk. Dip the chicken cubes into the egg mixture, then coat well with potato chips. Spread the nuggets onto the baking sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes. Turn nuggets over, and bake for 10 minutes more, until golden brown. Remove baking sheet from oven, and insert a lollipop stick into each nugget.

Answer 9

Give him healthy choices to make him feel like he has some say in it, and stick to it: 'Would you like baked chicken or fish for dinner tonight?'. He may or may not play into it, but if he doesn't, tough on him- he'll eat when he gets hungry enough. Don't cave and give him something else, give him 2 options you know he at least can tolerate. No child has ever voluntarily starved them self. You could also offer incentive like a sugar free pudding or jello after dinner if he eats 'x' amount of the healthy food. i know some disagree with it, but I see no harm and it helps get good food into him.

Answer 10

I was a fussy eater until the dinner I got sent away from the table, mother telling me this:
"Come back tomorrow. When you're old enough to earn your own money, buy and cook your own food; then you can be as picky as you like. But as long as you're living in my home, you'll eat what I can afford to put on the table."
After going one meal without food, I quickly learned to eat nearly anything that wasn't tied down.
Be careful, though. These days that sort of treatment might be considered to be 'abuse' and could get the Child Protective Services down on you... sad... it sure didn't injure or kill me to miss one meal to learn respect for the folks who were providing it to me for free...