How can I get my kids to stop treating my living room and bedroom like it's their playroom?

Question

I live in a fairly large home. My kids have their own playroom upstairs and they have plenty of room for their toys and "stuff" in their bedrooms. Their playroom has a DVD, TV, stereo, couch, toys, etc. and yet they still insist on "hanging out" in my LR, the nicest room in my house. Subsequently I am constantly picking up and cleaning up after them and it's making me nuts! I have new furniture and my oldest has already ripped the upholstery! They leave fingerprints everywhere and toys everywhere. As far as my BR goes, that too seems to have become their playroom as well. They leave toys, games, stuffed animals, artwork, etc. all over the place and I no longer have a place to call my own. They have zero respect for our nice living spaces and I am at my wits end. Any suggestions on how to "retrain" them to hang out upstairs before my LR and BR are ruined?

Answer 1

You need to set them down and let them know they have a playroom and that is were the toys are to stay and if you find any toys in you LR OR BR then they will never see them again and you are giving them to goodwill or something but really just but them were they cant find them. that is what my did with us when were were little. but you need to make sure you stick to it

Answer 2

Had this problem with the children I nanny for... there are 3 of them and are all almost teenagers now (I've been with them for 7 years), they have a very large, very nice home and the mother had it designed with a loungeroom upstairs central to all their bedrooms with a tv and games console etc... but they still found their way downstairs, she has a normal living area and a really nice living area that the kids have never been allowed to set foot in! Anyway, I got sick of picking up all the bits and pieces too, so once a week (more often on school holidays) I call all the kids downstairs and inform them they have 20mins starting immediately to remove all that they own from downstairs and put it away where it belongs upstairs in their rooms or their tv room upstairs, anything that is left is pitched in the bin. I never really pitched it in the bin, just put in a bag and threw it in and retrieved it later and hid in the garage, I only had to do this once... they got the picture! As for not hanging out downstairs, put the tv on a boring channel that they hate like the news or documentry and tell them to leave it because you are watching it... they will migrate back upstairs and if they don't at least its informative tv. Don't know what to suggest about the bedroom... maybe sit down and explain that it is your 'space' and they need to respect it and lay down some rules, if they don't go and hang out in their 'space' take a basket of clothes up and fold the washing, taking time with your bras and undies in their room or just hang out especially when they have friends over.

Answer 3

How old are the baby twins?? Could you not put your bed in with them and all sleep in the same room? Even if you used one of those room partitions to cut the room in half one side for you one side for the twins...??? It will work for now but be very hard when they are all older and going to school.....what will happen if one of your kids wants to have a sleepover with friends, where will everyone sleep?? What if the 2 girls dont get along when they get older and fight non-stop? This happened to my sister with a total of 5 kids in a 3 bed house!! The two girls shared as they were only 18 months apart, they always got along great until they hit @ 10 and they had a huge personality clash and constantly fight over everything. My sis had to move to a bigger house so they could have their own room each, now they are teens it was a good move, they are just total opposites and would be hating each other immensely if they still had to share. Im sure that you could find a very nice 3 bed house in the same area, it may take along time to find the "perfect" one maybe start looking now, eventually something should come up that you will love just as much.

Answer 4

Oh my goodness, we had the same problem with our kids, and we've only recently solved it. They were constantly bringing their toys into our room and leaving them. I got so tired of stepping on Thomas the Tank in the middle of the night, and it was making a total mess out of our room. So, my husband and I got a big clear storage bin, and every time they left toys in our room, they became ours! I would tell them if it is in my room, it must be mine! So in the bin it would go, and they could see it in there since the bin is clear, but they could not have it back. But, when they did something good and deserved a reward, I'd let them pick 1 thing back from the bin. Not only did it stop the toys being left in our room for the most part, but it also saved me a bundle on buying rewards for the kids! While I was potty training my son all his rewards came from then bin.

Try it...maybe it will work for you too! Good luck! :)

Answer 5

I have learned with kids, you cannot have nice things. When they are older then you might be able to.

Sounds like they run the house and not you. You are the parent? Right? Then do something about it. Or they will run you and the house to the ground. Show them what a SPANKING is. Then tell them it will happen again if they do not listen.

or

You can let them run the place and you.

I just read these other answers and one said reward them for playing in their spot. Others said talk to them. Take away their toys. What kind of s__t is that. If you want them to listen Spank their as ses. Take back what is yours. Let them know who is the parent.

Answer 6

Our home has a huge living room. We conquered the belongings /toy problem rather quickly. I bought a laundry basket, and everything I found of theirs, including shoes, went into the basket. In order to get anything back, they had to pay a nickel. That was 17 years ago. You can up the ante to today's rates. Once, one of the boys had to borrow money to buy his shoes out of the basket because all his were in there. We were going to let him go to school in socks and slippers. Our children learned by being responsibility for their actions.
We have boundaries for our room. We are raising a grandchild, and when the other grandchildren visit, they all know the boundaries. No one goes in Grandma/Grandpa's room unless we invite them in and no toys are allowed. It's your house, you set the rules. Our house was brand new and the children helped us keep everything new. Eating was in kitchen or dining room only.
Remember, these are children. Giving excessive possessions isn't going to turn them into anything exceptional and they can't be expected to hide in their rooms quietly all the time.Children only come by once in a lifetime and time surely passes faster, than you'll wish one day.

Answer 7

You didn't say how old your kids are. So here's what I suggest. Buy each of the kids their own toy box( my oldest had one that I had painted and put her name on, my son had a train and my youngest had a big pink pig(their names were on theirs also). Each night before going to bed they had to go around the house and pick up their toys and put them in their own toy box. Make it fun like a treasure hunt or something. Sometimes we dressed up like pirates, other times super heroes. After they were in bed any toys that mom and dad found lying around belonged to mommy and daddy for a week. We actually played with the toys in front if them. Cruel but effective at 25, 23 and 14 they are in the habit of picking up after themselves.

Answer 8

Are those places the places that you give the most attention to. I believe that they are just trying to get your attention because they know that those are the two places in the whole house the you pay the most attention to. I believe that if you turn more of your attention to the rooms that you want them to play in then they will play in those room. Every time they try to play in the living room move them to the rooms that they are suppose to play in. Consistency and being persistence is the key. Praise them for the progress that they have made. So if you see them playing in the hall but not the play room say thanks you guys for playing in the hall but next time play in the game roo. Even in your bedroom or living room. Say thanks you guys for playing I am so glad that you are having fun, but lets try playing in the game room. The more attention to pay to a behavior the more likely it is to be repeated.

Answer 9

Tell them No. You have to be a disciplinarian or they will walk all over you. If they take their things into the off limit rooms, take their things back out and put them where they are supposed to play. Lock the door to your bedroom and you need to sit them down and let them know the rules.

Answer 10

you are clearly afraid to over punish. Take away the toys, throw some away, let them see you throw them away.
Remember, they got this way one action at a time. So, put yourself up a chalkboard, and do not give up until you have chalked up 1000 tick marks to change this.