How do you go about consoling someone who has lost a child in death?

Answer 1

Gently. Don't position yourself underfoot; grief is a very private thing. Send a condolence card that resonates with you but do not offer to "help with anything." Bereft parents cannot be troubled with thinking about what they need and asking for it. You need to anticipate their needs for them if you want to do something nice. Leave a casserole on their porch that they can reheat later. Offer to take their dogs out when you walk yours. You know them and I don't so I can't tell them what they need but as long as you're not invading their privacy or bothering them often, random acts of kindness would surely be greatly appreciated at this difficult point in their life.

Answer 2

Unless you have lost a child, never say anything like "I understand." You don't, and it will be like stabbing them. There is no consolation for losing a child. You can comfort, you can suppot, you can entertain, listen, or offer help, but there is nothing you can do to truly console. It could be the single most devastating event anyone can be dealt.

Let them be your guide. Ask them, how can I help you out? Be a friend. Help them talk about their feelings and grieve. Suggest counseling, and offer to go with to the office, if they like.

And don't expect them to eventually "get over it" That may never happen at all. They may adjust or cope, they may even accept, but they will never get over it.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I am sorry for the loss of anyone whom is facing the loss of their beautiful child, as i am a grieving mother. Will be two years this coming July. There are ways to console one whom is grieving a loss. People have to remember that not one person is the same, we will all deal with grief differently. Listen to them, be there for them, Open your arms, offer hugs and much support. Give them their space at the same time. I have read and still read many articles regarding my grief.
"The pain will never go away, time only gets somewhat bearable"
(((HUGS)))

Answer 4

Ouch, this is a hard one. My friend, Sylvia lost her 2 year old daughter while her mother was watching the baby. The baby went through a open door and walked right into the pool.

All you can do it listen...don't say that crap like...She's with god now..or she's in a better place. Just listen...don't freak out on the awkward silences. Listen and be there. (that's what my grandmother's advice to me was and she was right)

Answer 5

There's really nothing you can say that would make them feel better. Is there anything anyone could say to you if your child died that would make it all go away?

The best thing to say is "I'm very sorry for your loss. If you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to listen." If they want to discuss it further, they'll let you know.

Answer 6

You cannot console them - don't try. Be there to help them through a monumentally difficult time, offer to do things for them or be with them so the sorrow doesn't overwhelm them. Even doing little things - offering to prepare meals or do the marketing - taking other children to school or activities.

It helps a great deal for people not to distance themselves as often happens - they need your friendship and support.

Answer 7

there is nothing you can say to ease their grief and so you should just let them know you are sorry for the pain they are going through and if they need someone to talk to be there for them when they need you to be there. a shoulder to cry on is a good thing to have.

Answer 8

Listen. Agree with them that it's not fair. Agree with them that the pain will never go away. Let them know you can't possibly imagine what they're feeling.

Answer 9

How can you? I don't know. Above all be honest. Don't say things like 'I understand how you feel'---these things sound trite because you don't know how it feels...Just be there and be a friend and be ready to listen. Sometimes people just need someone to listen to them talk.

Answer 10

i lost my son and there isnt much anyone can say or do. there are a few things although not to say and that is, "your young you can have more kids" or "he's still with you in spirit" dunno why but those things used to make my mad. keep your friend busy, after my son died (he was a baby) i would catch myself staring at women holding or playing with their babies. i know some people probally thought i was strange.