my brother and me were really close (he is 21 and im 16). but for the past few years things have changed and we fight like crazy. and i think he has anger issues. and he always lowers my self esteem a lot. but i have never told him this because i was too scared i guess. then last night we got into a huge fight and then i sent a really nasty email to him and said how he took my self esteem away and how he has anger problems. today he is acting weird, like really guilty and feels bad about everything and he has had a headache all day. by sending this email i think i changed everything. i also sent him this link:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiiZ4tL1cBS4u.9K5fWQUnzsy6IX?qid=20070611003322AA2tVY8
it is a question that i posted on yahoo answers about his behavior. i dont even know if he read the email and saw the website but im sure whenever he sees it he will be hurt. the problem is i told him the truth about himself and it hurt him, and now i think i made a mistake.
2007-06-11 11:48:21 · 15 answers · asked by Sunshine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
did i make a mistake by telling him the truth, even though it hurt his feelings? now i think i lowered his self esteem and it is killing me because i love him so much and never wanted to hurt him, i just wanted him to see his fault. and now he is super guilty. should i call him and talk it out or should i leave it alone for the next few days? please help!
2007-06-11 11:49:43 · update #1
I think you did the right thing telling your brother. If you want to know how he is felling right now, just tell him you're sorry for hurting his feelings, but you just had to tell him. I f he won't listen, just send him another email, he might feel more comfortable with that. Remember, no one knows your brother like we do, so think of something that was bubbly-making between you two, and you can probably share feelings with each other and be as close as ever, again. Also, try to figure out why he is mad all the time. :D
2007-06-11 11:55:56 · answer #1 · answered by liveLAUGHlove99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did a good thing for both of you by telling your brother the truth about his behaviour and how it has effected you.
Your relationship now has a basis in truth and reality. You will discover in each other the best of allies from this day forward!
I applaud your courage. Now be courageous again and tell him you had to say those things to get them in the open, but that you love and cherish him as your brother. It would not hurt if you meant it when you said it.!
You have created a better world for both of you!
2007-06-11 11:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people say that the truth will set you free. I reccomend giving him an asprin and a glas of water, sit him down somewhere comfortable and ask him if he wants to talk it out. If he says no grab his arm (thats if he tries to walk away) and tell him that you want to say something. Tell him how you feel, but try not to start crying (then he really will beleive he took away all your self esteem) Or you can wait untill he calms down a little and talk about it then. If he has anger issues make sure that someone is near.
2007-06-11 11:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Gabbie ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the absolute right thing. He is your brother and you should be able to tell him when he's acting like a jerk. It is good you told him maybe then he will take a look at himself and fix the things he's doing wrong and how wrong he's treated you. Please do not feel guilty he should for treating you this way. You need to stand up for yourself no matter who it is family or not. I have a older brother and I would have done the same thing. He needed to hear the truth, maybe you will have helped him face his problem. You did the right thing for sure. Just wait and let things be for a couple days.
good luck
2007-06-11 11:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by Shanny 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your sure in a pickle
but you were in the right to tell you borther how he was making you feel, yes you could have told him in a better way, but you both should have a calm conversation about what each of you is feeling and if it starts to become a screaming feast just take like 5 mintutes to calm down then contuinue to talk
if your as close to your brother as you say he will forgive you and you will to him
every thing wil work out
2007-06-11 11:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone for a few days, then call and just talk.
Sometimes we need our feelings hurt when we realize things. Its not always a bad thing and it can make us change for good. We all have that choice. Dont feel bad for trying to fix things.
When you call him in a few days tell him you care about him and want things to be good like they use to be.
2007-06-11 11:59:47 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him face to face or over the phone. Next time you get into a fight, wait until he calms down and talk, not email, to him and explain your point as far as him having issues. Being mean won't propel the person to get the help he needs.
2007-06-11 11:52:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my brother are best freinds and we have fights that get down right nasty. TALK TO HIM...i know how you feel cause thats how I feel when I fight with my brother. If you sit and talk and let eachother vent...anything goes then you get allot worked out and you find your freindship is stronger and the bond is tighter. Dont blame yourself just explain why you posted this and that your only guilty of caring about him and his health!
2007-06-11 11:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by divers_godeeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing it shows him how his actions towards you is affecting you and in a bad way it may be rough but he needs to hear it or his own good you did the right thing even if you feel bad about it. It may make him realize that he needs to change good luck
2007-06-11 11:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be. You did the right thing. You are not a door mat to be verbally abused and you told him which was the right thing. When he spouts off at you, completely avoid him, and if he wonders why, tell him. Don't feel guilty, you did nothing wrong.
2007-06-11 11:53:00 · answer #10 · answered by WE 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋