If you and your fiancee break up should you give back the ring?

Question

I was in a very bad relationship and to make a long story short I left him and when I did he had the ring and he gave it back to me I said no you keep it and he said no I bought it for you, you keep it. Now its about 6 months later and he is demanding it back. Do you think I should keep it (maybe trade it in for something for me) or give it back. This was a physical and very extremely verbal absive relationship.

*i did give it back and then he told me no its mine*
in the beginning it wasnt bad but after we got engaged it got bad.
we were together since i was 15 and now i'm 20
i just told him in an e-mail i didnt have it anymore.

**Also! I said if it was a family ring I would have given it back but its not. He is saying he wants to give it to some girl in the future he wants to marry and i said NO girl will want a ring u proposed to someone else with and was once ur ex's! Then he said he would trade it in for a different one! Then thats when I told him I didnt have it. But i said that in the very beginning i guess he just didnt believe me.

Answer 1

(If you need to call the police because he is threatening you. Do it! If he put his hands on you then, babygirl he will now FOR SURE.) HEEELLLL NO! The ring is yours, it doesn't matter that you broke up or aren't getting married. Think about all the gifts you ever bought anyone and then they pissed you off? You can't get those back. Why should you give it back? It's yours. Unless it brings you terrible memories of what was then keep it. He is just being miserable you tried to make him take it, he gave it back....... I say keep it.



Good girl! Tell him the ring is gone just like you so now he can get on with his life. Check your state on laws in those cases because I doubt very seriously that you owe him anything. Its over.

Answer 2

There are two sides to look at this. On the one hand the ring was a gift and once you give a gift to someone it's theirs. On the other hand the gift was also a representation of his promise to marry you, now that that is no longer the case the ring has no significance in which case you should give it back.

To save yourself any future harassment and hurt, you should give the ring back to the guy. He may want to use this object as an excuse later on to contact you with hurtful mail, insulting phonecalls or anything like that. So better to return it to him. If he was abusive in the relationship he will be even worse after breaking up.

Cut your losses, forget about what you could buy with the money if you pawned the ring and move on with your life. Find a gorgeous guy to appreciate you and let your ex realise that his immature attitude didn't affect you.

Answer 3

This is how it works. There is a break up. (doesn't matter who broke the relationship) You give the ring back. The ring is a conditional gift of marriage. If you didn't actually get married you give the ring back. NOW, if he refuses the ring when you try to give it back, then the ring is yours. He can't have it. He gave it to you, it is now a GIFT!

The absolutely only exception to this is if the ring was/is a family heirloom.

Answer 4

Legally, I believe most states' laws hold that you own the ring, although there at least used to be a few minority states that hold that you have to give it back.
I would check with a lawyer, especially if the ring is worth more than say 1 or 2 thousand dollars... if it's yours, it's yours (down payment on a new life). If it's not, I wouldn't want to hock it and then have him sue you for conversion.

UPDATE:
I've found an article that details the law in many, many states. Take a look at it:
http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/marriage-more/broken-engagement.html

Answer 5

Apparently you should. I saw a thing on TV recently where a woman was taken to court by her ex and made to pay for the ring she had thrown away. She had done the same as you and offered it back and he said no...so to rid herself of the bad memories, she threw it away and then a few months later he demanded it back. She ended up having to pay some ridiculous amount to him to pay for the ring. The judge had ruled that is was on loan (or somehting like that) as she had agreed to marry him but hadn't...a wedding ring would have been a different story apparently.

I would give it back to him anyway (even though he told you to keep it after you split up)...who wants a jerk like that hanging around? Probably just doing it to upset you again...abusive men get off on power trips like that!

Good luck.

Answer 6

Give it back! If he was so awful to you then you shouldn't still want it. I would say in all situations like this, giving it back is the best thing. It provides closure for both parties. And besides after 6 months he is only missing you and using that as a way to still have you. Give it back to him so he won't have anymore ties to you. I hope you find someone worth marrying!

Answer 7

Give it back. If the relationship is over and was as bad as you say, then why keep the ring to remind you of it. I would give it back and forget about this guy. I wouldn't trade it, if he wants it back and is abusive, he may get angry and hurt you.

Answer 8

If it was physical and extremely verbal abusive relationship, why did you ever agree to marry him in the first place?

It's his ring, he bought it, give it back. Those things are expensive and if he can find a better use for it, great!

Answer 9

You tried to give it to him earlier, and he told you to keep it, so I don't believe you owe him any favors, particularly since he was such a jerk when he was with you. I say, take it to the pawn shop! There is no law that I am aware of that says you must return a gift. Just be glad you didn't marry this guy!

I'm a guy, but I'm on your side in this.

Answer 10

I think you should give it back. Why would you want anything to remember the abuse you suffered? Even if you buy something else with the money, you will know that it came from him. Do not let him have that hanging over your head, just give it back.