I caught my niece doing something shady with our family dog...?

Question

Disclaimer: I apologize if my question offends anyone. Also, please no heckling or jokes or saying nasty things about my niece.

I walked in on my niece yesterday in my daughter's room. Her underwear were off and she was letting my wife's shih tzu lick her "down there".

It was really awkward and I didn't know what to do or say. She stopped immediately and pulled her clothes up.

I looked away and told her to come downstairs for pizza then I picked up our dog and put him in his crate out in the garage.

Fortunately my daughter, who is 5, was already downstairs and didn't see her cousin.

Should I tell her Mom (my sister)? Do I tell my wife? Does the fact that she was messing around with the dog mean she could/has done the same with my daughter? I know it's immature, but I don't want my niece to come visit anymore.

Answer 1

Don't know how old she is, but yes tell your wife and your sister. That is something so wrong and she needs to know that.
You have to tell your wife how you feel and why you don't want her visiting anymore. Your the man of the house, act like it and do yuor job protecting your family.

Answer 2

I think you need to get your niece some help. By that I mean it is not normal for a youg girl to contrive the situation you described. Children are generally not that explicitley sexually active especially with an animal. This leads me to conclude that their is a high probability that your niece either has been abused or has witnessed abuse and can not differentiate appropriate behavior especially since she attempted the act out side of her own home which is her comfort zone. I believe that you and your sister at the very least need to get your niece to talk to a counselor to identify any abuse and to to establish why she did not realize that what she did was not appropriate. As for your daughter safety it is hard to tell unless we can idetify the catalyst to the behavior.

Answer 3

There is nothing immature about not wanting your niece to come over anymore. You are simply trying to protect your family. However, your niece is your family and you need to let your sister know what's going on. I don't know your family, and therefore I cannot pass judgment, but your niece might be being sexually abused.

She could have done something with your daughter, but you have no proof. You should probably talk to your daughter, but because of her age it may be difficult for her to understand what you are asking. Also, your niece may have "threatened" her, so she may not talk. Therefore, you may need to bring a professional in.

Your niece, no matter what, needs help, and the first step of that is you being honest and talking to your sister. Your discomfort, though understandable, cannot outweigh your niece's need for help or your sister's right to know.

Answer 4

Mmmm...yea, sounds deviant. How old is the niece? Although uncomfortable, you should tell your sister about it. Just explain that you weren't sure what to do and that you felt obligated to let her handle it.

Probably keep a very close eye on your daughter when the niece is over. Make sure she is playing directly in your sight. This situation doesn't mean that she's done anything to your daughter, but who knows? If nothing has happened, great. From this point on, you can make sure that nothing will happen.

Answer 5

You should tell her mother, but your fear of your niece corrupting your daughter are dependent of your niece's age, aren't they? If she's younger, she probably DOESN"T know any better. Little girls bounce on seats and scissor their legs a lot because it is stimulating, although no-one wants to think of it that way. What's the difference to your niece if she's little? Obviously you don't want your daughter getting ideas from her, so the old advice is the best advice: monitor playtime.
If she's older and should know better you and your sister have more to worry about.

Answer 6

this isn't something you can keep to yourself.......the longer you wait the worse it will look on you.........and besides why wouldn't you tell your wife?........shady isn't the word......it's GROSS..........i wouldn't keep the dog......give it to the pound..
your niece could very well accuse you and say that you lied about the dog......you didn't say how old your niece was...by all means tell your sister with your wife present and don't allow your niece to visit with your daughter anymore.....
i also think it would be a smart thing to not EVER be alone with your niece EVER again....bring this out in the open ASAP..............

Answer 7

How old is she? Could she have seen something maybe inappropriate somewhere, somehow...? I can understand your concern.. I would definetly, tell her mother as well as your wife.. I don't think it's healthy- and it could signal other "behaviors". I would not leave your daughter unattended with her under any circumstances, although I wouldn't prohibit her visits that could be worse for her... Also, if/when she does come around definetly, keep the dog away !!!

Answer 8

I would imagine she was 'experimenting' with her own body and the fact you 'caught her in the act', she may never do it again. But, like you, I would also be nervous about it. I think I would mention to your sister, so she can watch and see if this looks like something she does frequently, or if it was a 'one time only'. Don't make a big deal out of it, but show concern. I would hope/think she was just doing the doctor/nurse childish thing, but I would be concerned for my/your daughter. If she thought she got away with something, she just might try it again...and heaven forbid it be with your daughter. I wouldn't want her to come visit again until you know she won't try anything with the dog or your daughter. It's probably harmless in nature, and hopefully you scared her enough not to try it again, but you just never know, and you can't be too careful regarding your own daughter.

Answer 9

children experiment with other childen not dogs. Your niece has most likely been sexually abused (at the very least she has been exposed to innappropriate sexual behavior. You need to tell her mother immediately. I would suggest allowing limited supervised contact with your child (keep the dog locked up when the niece is over). Her mother needs to seek counseling for the child to address the issue at hand. this is not normal childhood behavior.

Answer 10

I would get the wife and your sister together and tell them both at the same time. Your wife to be there for your protection.

Better yet, I would have your niece tell them together.