do these bedtimes seem ok to you? my kids moan about them all the time?

Question

hey i am a father of 4 boys and recently we have had some problems over bed time.

their bed times are

13 year old = 9pm, lights out 9:30
10 year old 8 pm= lights out8:30
5 year old twins = 6:30 (lights out after finishing reading a story)


now these bed times havent changes since last summer when they all got an extra half hour and during the winter they where fine with it.

now my elder two are giving me real attitude and problems about it, the problem is because its summer time the sun does not set till 9:30 and its only getting later, they say its unfair to be going to bed when the sun is still up.

now before i start laying down the law, do these times seem ok? and should i just blow their complaints off as standard stuff. they get an extra hour during school hoildays but not on weekends, i took weekend times away due to them constantly argueing about them and not respecting the times, bed times are a real issue in this house

THESE ARE SCHOOL TIME, NOT HOLIDAY TIMES, THEY STAY UP LATER IN THE HOILDAYS

Answer 1

Well they seem fine to me.
Children need *routine* (and that includes rising times too including the weekends and school holidays - it does them no favours allowing them to lie in bed late to "catch up" after being allowed late nights).
My boys were in bed at 8.30p.m. at the latest all year round and after thirteen years of age the older ones were up early to do paper rounds so that suited them all because they shared a bedroom.
I had four too but there is only five years between the lot and so that was easy - when they got big enough the younger two went into the top bunks and the older two went in (quietly!) after their bath and hot milk and slipped into the bottom ones.
They were all up at 7.30 a.m. at the latest every morning too (which meant I was up even earlier so I didn't get off scot-free!) so I had it right according to doctors' recommendations.
Show your older two this and remember that growing teenagers often need *more* sleep than younger children -

"Most kids between the ages of 5 and 12 years old are somewhere in between, needing 10 to 11 hours of sleep. Some kids might need more and some need less. It depends on the kid."

http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/talk/qa/sleep.html

Remember that their health *needs* are more important then their "wants" and that parents need time for themselves in the evenings too.
You are doing fine by them as a Father and I admire you for it.They will grow up to be fit and healthy as mine all have.
I always used to recite the old rhyme to them at bedtime -

Early to bed and early to rise
Makes a man healthy,wealthy and wise!

and they gladly joined in (*most* of the time!).
Best wishes,
Joan.

Answer 2

As a mom of 3 boys myself... 17 can stay up til whenever.. but he best make him scarce if I tell him he is bugging me..... 16 ... also has a no bed time.. then agian.. he normally sacks out about 11 pm....

the 9 yr old.. well.. during the school year it's 8 pm... this next year it will be 830pm IF he can handle it with school....

You didn't say if they have a schedule that they have to keep to during the summer.... like you get up at 6 am and they have to be up and out the door at 7 for day care or whatever...

IF... they have a set time they have to be up.. I would suggest a little more leniency in the summer months.. but don't let them walk all over you...... maybe make it a 930 bed time.. and lights out at 10- for the older 2... as for the twins.. heck at 5.. I'm pretty sure they could handle an 8pm bed time.... it is after all summer......
Also let them know that this is being done on a trial basis.. give it a week.. if all is going well.. leave it be.. if not.. then go back to the old way....

Kids need at least 8 solid hours of sleep a night ... most need more like 10 hours.. and if there is a set up time.. and they are faltering .. or grumpy.... then it's not working...

good luck and have a GREAT summer

Answer 3

Thirteen year old's are starting to assert independence.
Lights out at 10:30.
Tell them they're not going to sleep away half the next day.
About 2 weeks before school starts, gradually start setting the bedtime back, then when school is in session lights out
at 9:30 because they need as much sleep as possible.
Ten year old's lights out at 9:30, otherwise he feels like a baby. Do the same with his schedule as the older boys.
A good indicator of the proper amount of rest is: they get right up out of bed without prompting the first time, earlier than expected or as expected.
I'm not saying anything about the twins because I would be so worn out just like you. If the twins are getting up really early in the morning, like 6-7:30, you may want to give them a nap and send them to bed at 7:30-8:00 but whatever works for you. If you are doing this alone, Lord have mercy.......... I added this later: was suggesting summertime hours. Your school hours are great! Tell the 10-13 yr. olds to be happy. Our kids had to be in bed by 8:30 on school nights and that was teenagers too. None of them ever fell asleep in class either and they are responsible adults today. Like someone else before me said, your house your rules.

Answer 4

I think that because it is the summer and they don't have to be up for school the next day that you should give them a little leway, maybe an extra hour every night... I think 10 is a good time for a 13 year old during the summer/on weekends and 9 is good for school nights.

My little brother is 13 and he goes to bed at 9 on school nights and he doesn't have a bed time on weekends or during the summer, but my step mother never lets him stay up past 11 unless I'm home or unless he has a friend over or something...

Answer 5

Its summer! My kids stay up as late as they want, which means no latter then 10:00 they are ready for bed on their own, and they are 9 and 8. My next one is 2, he's usually out by 9, and then my 1 yr old is in bed at 8. The baby is out by 8 also. Now during school the oldest 2 are in bed by 8:30. And they get up at 7:00.
They get to stay up later now, because they don't have to get up as early, and they get to play outside till dusk. It was the same way when I was a kid.

Answer 6

When I was 5 I had to go to Bed at 9:30. Around 10 or so It was changed to 10. And at 15 Its really whenever I fall asleep as long as I'm in my room at 10:30 and quiet.And I HAVE to wake up for school in the morning. I also have no "bed time" on days when I don't have school the next day. So here are my suggestions:


5 year old twins: 9:00 bed and story til 9:30.
10 year old: 9:30 bed and 10:00 lights out.
13 year old: 10:30 bed and asleep whenever you are asleep AS LONG AS THEY WAKE UP!. Chances are they will realize how much sleep they need due to being tired. They will adjust.


Also let them go to bed whenever they want on the weekends/school holidays. Everyone else's parents do(not anything against you). But their friends will be out having fun while they have to be in bed.

Answer 7

move the 10 year olds to the 13 year olds
and make the 13 year olds in bed by 9:30 lights of 10:00-10:30
and the 5 year olds come on how bout move it up to 7:30 7:45ish
and in the summer and weekends let the 10 & 13 year olds do what they want for bedtimes

Answer 8

Okay! I have 5 girls. Charianna is 5 y/o and goes to bed at 8:45 along with Danielle who is 2 about to be 3. They are both sleeping by 9:00. Scarlett is 1 year old and goes to bed at 8:15, usually I give her a bath and then immediately put her in her crib. Then, Anabella and Ansley (the twins!) who are only 3 days old go to bed about 10:00. Hope this helps. Yeah you're putting them to bed WAY to early.

Answer 9

For the 13 year old: seems very fair
For the 10 year old: seems fair during the school year but I allow my 10 year old daughter to stay up till 9:30 om summer nights and she does fine.
For the 5 year olds: seems really early to me but if they need the sleep then thats ok. My son is 2 and goes to bed at 8:00-8:30 (he wakes up at 6:30am so if we put him to bed any earlier, he'd be up at 5:30-6:00am)

In my opinion, 10 and 11 are way to late for a 10 and 13 year old to be up till everyday. At that age they need about 9-10 hours of sleep a night. That way they are refreshed and ready to tackle the next day not groggy and tired because they went to bed too late. Allowing them to stay up too late only teaches bad sleeping habits for later in life. Besides, parents need some alone time too.

Answer 10

I think that your 5 yr old twins should go to bed @ 8:30p during school. 10 yr old @ 9:00p and 13 yr old @ 9:30 or 10:00 depending on how responsible he is about getting up. But dad, I am with the boys on this. It is the summer time. Let them enjoy themselves. 9:00p-9:30 for the twins and the older ones deserve at least 11:00p. Then two weeks school before school start back put them back on track so their bodies will get back on schedule. Notify me if this works.