How to deal with a person you absolutely despise?

Question

There is this woman at work who i absolutely cant stand. Everyone else is nice,it's just her. She is married and having an affair with a married man there. Me and him use to talk and she started going in jealous rages,she even accused me of going with him,even though i havent. Now she is very ignorant,i dont like bad atmosphere and have tried being friendly and today this woman at work tried to bring me in the conversation and this nasty b**** who i cant stand turned her back and blanked me,i felt really small. Everytime i see her i get angry because nobody knows what she's really like except me,she also flirts with all the guys and act like she's beautiful. Anything i can do to get even or deal with my anger everytime i see her pathetic face?

Answer 1

Dealing with this woman doesn't have to ruin your day. You mentioned getting angry when you see her which means you are allowing her presence to impact you in a negative way. It's important not to give her that kind of control over you. Keep your cool and be confident that it's just a matter of time until she destroys her reputation. Learning to deal with negative people is an art form, but worth your effort. Focus on the co-workers you enjoy being around, don't allow yourself to analyze why this person is the way she is and you will be less adversely affected.

Answer 2

People like this tend to be their own worst enemies. Chances are, her bad behavior toward you has been noticed by others. They've probably also noticed her having an affair - people who are involved with one another aren't usually too good at keeping the relationship a secret. So, Ida Insecure will just make herself look bad.

If you try to use her same tactics, you'll look as petty and insecure as she does, so that's a bad idea. Me, I tend to go overboard in the other direction - "GOOD morning, Ida! How ARE you today?" Then when she doesn't answer you, or walks away, guess who looks like the jerk?

Another tactic is to innocently ask your co-workers if Ida is ok today, do they know what might be bothering her, etc.? Try to do this with an air of sincere concern (it might help if you think of her as being mentally ill, which in a way she appears to be.) Then you look like the kind, concerned person and she comes off like the chump - plus people will start paying more attention to how she treats you (thus the entire office will know how she really is.) If they ask why ida only seems to have a problem with you, again, you need the innocent air - "Gosh, I don't know, she must be going through a really tough time, I can't think of anything I've said/done to cause this", etc.

Take a deep breath, think strategically about how best to position yourself in this situation so that you come out on top. Hold your friends close - and your enemies closer.

Good luck.

Answer 3

People like her usually do themselves in but it takes time. The higher ups know what is going on. If she is doing all this on work time, she can't be doing her job.

This might not be nice but here is what I would do if I were you. I am assuming your question had all the details in it and were correct. I would get her off to the side where no one can hear you and say something like, "LOOK! You leave me alone and I will stay away from you. We don't talk to each other OR about each other. We don't even look at each other. Then nothing can be said or done by either of us. We both work here and I can't have this stress on me while I am working." Then walk away. DO NOT stand there and argue or discuss it with her. THEN if she approaches you, you can go to a supervisor and tell them what you did to end it.

Being the nice guy, smile and all that doesn't always work. You two have a problem and if YOU don't repair it, neither one of you will have a job. You will both get fired.

Answer 4

Really, the only professional thing to do is "rise above it."

Her bad behavior isn't about you, it is about the fact that she is doing something unethical and you know about it. She is trying to make you wrong so you will not confront her about the affair, or do anything to make it public. And if she is succeeding at making you feel small, she definitely has the upper hand.

I find that "killing people I can't stand with kindness" usually shuts them down so the behave. Everyone else can see your fabulous treatment of her - and it makes her look the ***.

Be kind, and be thankful that you have a better sense of personal integrity than she does.

Answer 5

hey Greeny
well such a person is someone who dont know
a word called shame
and she is fug and not decent
and have bad manners and issues
she is not quite normal
so everytime u try to fight she will fight back even more
because she is in a way not stable
so the best way to bring her down
is really to ignore her
as if she doesnt even exists
she will try to push ur buttons
still u have to act like there is nothing going on
u know
if a bug insults u , u wont answer back
because u wont know
so treat her as a bug or a virus
and dont give her much attention and live ur life
the way u want to
and never feel small sweetie because u r not
at least u shouldnt feel that way from someone like her
she is not even worth it
best of luck

Answer 6

You are lack of confidence. Nobody can make you small, only yourself can. What is so hard to ignore someone? Remember you don't have to please anyone, it is not your job. If she humiliate you in public, just tell the person who is standing there what you feel - tell them the truth that she is having an affair and be jealous with you - you have to talk as cool as possible.

Answer 7

People who seem to have everything going for them, have trouble and hurt too. My guess people know how she is, but you let her get under your skin. She is a well intention dragon; sometime it’s good to keep those people close because they know everyone. Nice thing about work if people bug you focus harder on your work. Also Try heaping coals of kindness on her head. Example hold the door for her, be courteous. If you don't rise above her...you will be just like her. Bitterness will eat you alive

Answer 8

There will always be someone like this in the workplace. Just protect yourself so she can't accuse you of doing bad work, and don't be talking to the men at work anyway, or you'll be the next one having an office affair.

.

Answer 9

I just hate door knockers, the always turn up at the most inconvenient times, usually just as you get out bed on at teatime, I swing the door open tell them if I want new windows, a fitted kitchen, gas, electric, insurance, cavity wall insulation, sky TV, broadband, a new phone company or a damn conservatory then I will contact a company myself and how rubbish their items must be if they have to knock on door begging for business, I just tell them to close the gate behind them and close the door in their faces, grrrrrrrrrrr I find these people so infuriating.

Answer 10

Don't waste your time and energy trying to get even with someone like this. To begin with, "getting even" uses negative energy that only reflects on you. Stay away from this woman as much as you can. When you must be around her, be pleasant but distant. Do NOT give her the satisfaction of thinking she can get to you. You can control your reaction to what she does. Move on and get on with YOUR life. You needn't be caught up in hers.