My son is bored and driving me crazy!?

Question

He's 9 and unfortunately there are no children that he can play with in our neighbourhood. The ones there are, he doesn't "like". So, he's always mooping around. My husband and I take him places, play games with him, do whatever we can, but then everything else gets so out of whack I go nuts. There's not time to clean, because he wants to do something, not time to relax, because he won't let you..won't stay in his room fro any lenght of time..because..you guessed it..he's bored. He's got a PSP, a DVD player, tons of toys and crafts, but unless one of us is with him, he can't engage in doing things alone...I don't know what we're doing wrong..but my house and life is falling apart it seems..I can't even "pee" by myself it seems...HELP..

Answer 1

Your son sounds a lot like mine. We live RIGHT by a huge park and my son still moppes around.. I just try to let him know that being bored is a part of life.. and he needs to find ways to entertain himself. If youre busy doing something tell him, youre busy and do not want to be bothered. They just have to learn..

Answer 2

Best thing you could do is to stop feeling like you're responsible for entertaining him 24/7. Playing with your child every day is wonderful, but they should be independent enough to play by themselves as well. He'll eventually start playing with his other toys or find some other way of amusing himself. You can also put him in some kind of day camp or sports team if you think he's alone too much.

Don't let him stop you from doing what needs to be done. That's just spoiling him and making the situation worse.

Answer 3

9 might be a good age to get him a pet. Maybe a turtle or something. A dog is a lot of responsibility but they are more fun to play with than a turtle I suppose.
I would suggest setting a timer and tell him you are going to play with him for a certain amount of time but after that you need at least as long to do house stuff. Does he have chores and things so he can be helping you with the house jobs and spending time with you?
You could try signing him up for tennis lessons or softball or something.
Sounds like the your son is very much in need of your attention. He clearly would rather spend time with you than with friends. I don't think this is necessarily a good thing. Maybe the time you spend with him needs to be true quality time.

Answer 4

I would set a daily schedule so he knows what to expect at each part of the day. He knows that fun things are scheduled but he must respect the other times first. The idea of sitting with nothing planned all day can be scary for a child who spends days that are packed to thei minute during the school year.

I would do something like:
- Wake up at 8:00 - bed made, pjs put away, clothes on, room tidy, brush teeth, brush hair, wash face.
- Breakfast 8:30 - make a menu so he can see if it something he can get on his own OR something he needs assistance with.
- Free Time Till 10:30 - have some suggestions posted. Play doh, Books, Coloring/Drawing, Legos, Blocks. Videogames, Television, Action Figures, Outside Play, etc.
- 10:30 till 11:30 - fun time with Mommy or Daddy - bike rides, games, trip to the library for movie and books, park, outside sprinkler etc
- 11:30 till 12:00 help mom make lunch sit down and eat it together, then clean up
- 12:00 quiet time - reading silently a chapter book for 30 minutes.
- 12:30-1:30/2:00 - movie time. Pick a movie, get pillow and blanket and relax and watch the movie quietly and calmly
- 2:00 - clean up blanket and pillow, get yourself a small snack, eat it and clean it up
- 2:30 - 3:30 Free Play - ride your bike, build a fort, make a treasure map
- 3:30 Clean up and help mom with dinner and night time chores

Good Luck! SD

Answer 5

Well if he's "mooping" around then hand him a *mop* and tell him you want the kitchen and bathroom spotless!
When my boys told me that they were "bored" or that there was "nothing to do" I *found* them something to do and once they started it they'd better finish it.
I also enrolled them all in the cubs and scouts and they went on every camp and they *loved* it (except one who whined but his *choice* was to stay home and do *all* of his brothers chores and then some!).
When it got too much I sent them down to my Mother - and then they really knew what being kept occupied was and came home ready to go off for an early bedtime which was the time that I then had for myself.
Get him *organised* - that's what he wants (deep inside) and *needs*.
Good luck!
Joan

Answer 6

I was about to answer this question and then skimmed through the other answers. Most people said exactly what I was thinking! (Forgive me if I repeat what others said, I didn't read all of them)
Put this kid to work! Make a list of chores that he needs to get done daily. Have a few that he needs to do each day (make his bed, pick up his room, take a shower and brush teeth---yes, some kids need this to be on the list, trust me, I was a nanny for three years!, etc.) Have Monday be dusting day, Tuesday be vacuuming, etc. If your son has to get chores done he'll appreciate his down time so much more.

Aside from chores, get your son involved. There are plenty of summer programs through schools, camps, etc. Sign him up for a sport, arrange play dates. There has to be SOMETHING for him to do.

Answer 7

Why not include your son in cleaning the house? It is a skill that everyone needs to know, he could do it with you and he may just decide that he's not so bored after all and be able to entertain himself. By participating in family chores children reinforce family ties and they get to contribute to the family in a meaningful way.

Also he needs to have friends his own age to play with. Are there any programs in your town, like the recreation center little league, boy scouts or karate class, that you could get him involved with where he could meet other children his own age and find some friends you could exchange "play days" with? With finding something he is interested in that involves other children, it gives them an immediate connection that makes the process of making friends easier.

Answer 8

kids have to learn to entertain themselves. My guess is that since he was young you have helped him to fill in all his time and now he cannot manage without another person to amuse him. Tell him you have lots to do and if he leaves you to do it you will play later. Or better yet every time he says he is bored (that is a word I don not allow in my house. I tell them if you have a brain you cannot be bored) give him housework. At 9 he can do the washing, hang it out, vacuum and many other things. My guess if you keep this up for a few days he will find ways to occupy himself rather than do housework

Answer 9

Put him in a day summer camp so he can interact with other kids. And get rid of the DVD player. A 9 year old is never going to read with that temptation so readily available.

Answer 10

Put this child to WORK!
He is controlling your life and you need to take this control back

Start with dishes, then folding laundry, then running the vacuum, then putting his things neatly in his room. Have him set the table before meals, have him clear the table after meals, have him take out trash and do yard work.

Each time he comes to you with this "I'm bored" response, instruct him to do 10 push ups. If he comes to you with another whine, instruct him to do 20 push-ups. It is good strength and endurance building exercise and will break his pattern of whining about being bored.


Then tell him he has to read for 2 hours each night before any television or movies or dvds can be enjoyed.

that will put an end to boredom and if your son is fairly intelligent, he will learn to entertain himself with his PSP and DVD player and will not be whining to you about being bored.

Good luck to you ~