Is PUSHING the same as HITTING?! LADIES Insight PLZ!?

Question

I pushed my girlfriend the other day because she thought i was cheating on her.

I would never cheat on her because i love her, but it annoyed me because she was accusing me in front of our friends in the club and causing a big scene.

So when i saw her outside i tried explaining again that i never would dream of cheating, but she was acting stubborn and not listening so i pushed her. She didnt fall over or anything, it wasnt even hard but she claims its the same as hitting. Now shes not talking to me.

I would never punch a girl or be violent, but a push isnt a big deal is it? Will she see sense?

Answer 1

Pushing isn't quite the same as hitting, but it's in the ballpark. Some guys can escalate from a shove to punch (thankfully, you didn't). Even if she wasn't hurt, it can be very startling to be pushed, especially by a loved one. Besides, it's a very immature way to respond to a situation like that. I understand your frustration with her for not believing you when you said you didn't cheat, but a grown-up walks away from that kind of confrontation (easier said than done, I know), a child acts out with violence.

While it's not as bad as hitting, I wouldn't classify it as no big deal. You know you wouldn't be violent, but she doesn't know if you have it in you to hit her, and too many woman have ended up getting seriously hurt after going back to a man who "only hit them once". She's just watching her butt. Good luck working things out.

Answer 2

What actually bothers me is the fact that you thought you could drive home your point by pushing her. In the sort of civilised society we live in pushing is clearly not the best way of going about arguments. You should agree with me. She's right that it's the same thing as hitting because
1)you can push her, make her fall, and cause her physical pain and/or injury
2)or you could hit her, make her fall and cause her physical pain and/or injury
If you look at it in that light you would see why they're so similar and why she isn't talking to you. My friend once punched me in the shoulder as a joke and although it wasn't hard everyone made it clear that such actions belittled him as a man. He apologised to me and said he would never do it again. I would advice you do the same. Tell your girlfriend that you don't know what possessed you that day, you're very sorry and it would NEVER ever happen again. Don't try and make her see sense or post-mortem on the situation; no one would want to admit they're wrong and the anger would just continue. Show her that you're indeed a man by being the one to apologise; say sorry. It's very hard to admit you're wrong but do it. When that's done, try to talk about why she thought you were cheating.

Answer 3

You may not have cheated on her... but you did show some bully tendenacies. I was raised to believe that a real man never lays a hand on his woman, unless its to defend his life.

Yes... a push is a big deal... no so much the act... but the fact that you lost your cool. You were so mad that you reached out and touched her. If you slapped her would it be better than punching her in the stomach? Its all the same thing... and in the end, I think she should not talk to you.

Sorry, bro... somethings just aren't done... and what you did is one of them. Maybe next time you get that mad you will just walk away. Come back when you are calm. If she wants to make a scene that's her business. Be more adult and take a walk next time.

Answer 4

No, pushing and hitting aren't the same thing. However that doesn't make pushing okay. Getting physical with someone isn't the answer. She still could've been injured had you pushed her into or over something dangerous...not to mention it's rude and immature behavior (little children push one another).

I understand her anger, even if she was wrong for accusing you for doing something you didn't do. You need to find other ways of dealing with your exasperation or frustration than getting physical with people.

Answer 5

You put your hands on your girlfriend in anger. YES that's pretty much the same thing as hitting. If she had called the cops, they would definately see it the same way and charge you with assault. And she's right for not talking to you. You need to back off and leave her alone. Sucks for you. You should have thought of the consequences of your actions before you pushed her.

Answer 6

Pushing is violence. It's just the same as hitting. There are lots of abusive relationships that started with a push...

She's right to avoid you. You're the one who needs to see sense. Get your issues worked out.

Answer 7

pushing is only boarderline away from hitting. If a guy pushes a girl it is only a matter of time before he hits her. So it is close but not the same. If your girl can forgive you for doing it once, never do it again. No matter how much she pisses you off, just walk away.

Answer 8

It's the same thing, the next thing that comes with shoving is hitting. You should never touch any girl with any intent to push/shove/hit/smack or any otther way of "hitting" she has every right to be mad. All I can say is IF she forgives you then you better make sure you don't ever do it again.

Answer 9

You should never lay a hand on a women in any sort of violent physical matter. Ever. It may not be as bad as punching, but it foreshadows what type of man you will be in the future.

Answer 10

Pushing is not hitting, but it is violent behavior. What if she had fallen? Pushing is immature and abusive.

You should seek some counseling to learn to deal with your anger.