To salute or not to salute? How do I tell her?

Question

Last night I took my 15 yr. old daughter to a formal Gala. She has a larger than life personality, and personally introduced herself to some of the celeberties, and also 6 high ranking West Point milatary Officers that were there. When she introduced herself to the Officers, she saluted them and thanked them for serving our country. My problem is this. In a formal civilian function. I think that it is not appropriate to salute these officers. She did each one individually and I thnk if was embarasing to them. She is so excited and I know I have to tell her that this was not appropriate. How do I tell her, do I tell her and when?


She is a double honors student, and also is in ROTC.
(All the Officers danced with her later. she was the youngest person there)

Answer 1

As an experienced (30years and counting) military enlisted Sr Enlisted, I wouldn't worry about embarassing these officers. We in the military get saluted at the most inopportune times these days. I, being enlisted, do not warrant being saluted but when traveling on commercial air craft am saluted almost every time. A salute can be given at anytime even though it has fallen out of custom. A salute is rendered when a heart felt greeting or sign of respect is intended. (Remember see footage of JFK's young son saluting his passing coffin?). Being in ROTC she should have been taught this in her military history class.
I would much rather be saluted than spat upon or called names as our vets did when returning from Vietnam.
Consider yourself lucky that your daughter is as respectful as she is.

Answer 2

Were the West Point Officers real officers or cadets? Cadets only salute other cadets. If they were real officers, then she didn't need to salute them. Was it wrong, no, simply because she was doing it out of respect.
I am active duty enlisted in the Air Force, and I saluted officers while we were in civvies, even though its allowed, but I also saluted when I either had a cover on our heads, which I was not required to salute. I did it out of respect for the person.

Answer 3

While your daughter should not have saluted the officers, I do not think that they were embarassed or offended. I am quite sure that they appreciate that she was trying to show respect.

But instead of lecturing her, I would suggest that you have her do an internet search on saluting. She will find the rules on when saluting is permitted and when it is not appropriate.

Her heart is in the right place. I have no doubt that she will adhere to the guidelines for saluting and probably find the history behind the tradition interesting.

Answer 4

As long as she's showing respect, it doesn't matter. I'm really glad you didn't say anything that night, it could have totally stolen her enthusiasm for being there, as well as humilated her in front of people she obviously admired.

She'll figure out, when she's an adult, the proper time and manner in which to salute.

Answer 5

The key is your last sentance. She is in ROTC. She was right to salute the officers - if she was in uniform. If she was not in uniform and has never had contact with these folks. They would have no way of knowing she was "wannabe" military and that her salutes were not needed.

She has probably learned that in ROTC, though so I wouldn't push the issue. Better she gets used to saluting now, then forget it once she gets there.

No harm done.

Answer 6

Let her know that she was adorable at the dance but next time and as she gets older that she may want to find out what good etiquette is for any particular situation. When in Rome.

Answer 7

just tell her proper etiquette. tell her that normally you dont salute and tell her why. tell her when it is appropriate but dont sound like you are repremanding her. obviously she is ambitious and a little nervous. she's only 15- give her a break!

Answer 8

I agree with Gross D's advice.

Answer 9

have her kiss each of them instead