Why are people afraid of Polyamory?

Question

Seems natural. (BTW: Cut it with the STDs and VD and pregnancy BS - I'm a very mature, loving and responsible man)

Polyamory (from poly=multiple + amor=love) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they respect a partner's wish to have second or further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships.

*NOTE: Polyamory is NOT Polygamy... if you don't know the difference, please don't answer

Answer 1

I'm with ya man!!...I really don't know why so many are afraid...most likely because a combination of a religious upbringing, ignorance of the issue, and confusing polyamory with other terms (polygamy, swinging, infidelity), among other things...

I think the more out poly folk are, the more acceptance we will get from the general public..I'm hoping that in 15-20 years we will be where the LGBT are now in regards to acceptance...Then I'll have two parades to go too, lol...

And to those who believe that poly-relationships don't work out because they're poly-relationships, please take a long hard look at monogo's...paving the way for divorce..and aside from that, most monogo relationships don't work out...And we don't say automatically say that it's because they were monogo's...

Answer 2

I don't know .. I actually thought it was becoming more and more acceptible. I 'm not into it..but I don't think there's anything wrong with it either. It's a personal choice which in the end is your buisness alone . I know a few of my friends that are or have been polyamorus at some point and time and they didnt seem to hide it or feel like anyone was against it. Then again I'm in NY and people are more accepting here than other places.

Answer 3

Great Question !!!

I am in a Triad (F/M/F) and have had a great marriage for over 11 years.

Most people don't understand Poly because of ignorance or improper religious upbringing

My wives and I found there is no room for jealousy in any relationship. That is why I truly enjoy my wives loving each other with all their heart.

I'm terribly sorry Polygamy is illegal. I think it would seriously drop the divorce rate if folks didn't need to go somewhere else for their needs.

With Respect,

Jubal

Answer 4

I was in a polyamorous relationship. Quite honestly, it was the most fulfilling relationship I have EVER been in. Where I couldn't be to please one lover, the other one was there to step in. It was a full circle and each of our strengths complemented another one's weaknesses.

But....

It was also the most emotionally draining relationship I've ever been in. Jealousy lurked around every corner, and competing for each other's affection became aggressive and destructive.

Most people, I would say, are afraid of polyamory because it undermines their ability to establish commitment. For many, relationships are ownership (in the nicest sense of the word.) "I belong to you, and you belong to me". Polyamory, to some I guess, would be like saying, "I belong to him...and him..and him" and make a person question their value/self worth.

But people always fear what they don't know....

Answer 5

This society is embredded with Christianity. Since most people are Christians, they believe in marriage and one partner. In other countries in the World, Polyamory is a common practice.

But, I think there is a lot of jealousy in people and most are territorial, especially men. Men are the problem. They may accept the fact of having multiple women, but will never accept the reverse.

So, they marry one women, load her up with kids, leave her as a stay at home mother and secretly have affairs with the other women at work, "The Afternoon Delights". But, it is not opened.

Answer 6

My daughter and her pals experimented with polyamory for a couple of years. She was in a relationship with a married couple and then the wife decided she wanted out of everything, divorced her husband and married someone else. The husband married someone else, and my daughter is still wondering what happened to her "meaningful relationship." In fact, everybody that I know who was in this kind of relationship broke up, married someone else, etc. Get real. Polyamory isn't having your cake and eat it too, it's having two cakes! Fun for experimenting when you are in your 20s. That's about it. If it were anything else it would be hugely popular, but it's not, is it?

Answer 7

Polyamory requires three or more very mature, not jealous, loving people. Seems to work better with one female and two guys... which is interesting. But it can work. It's just rarely successful over a long period. And it challenges the status quo, like any idea on the edge, it is difficult for people to be objective about it. SF writers speculate that it is a relationship of the future.

Answer 8

I don't think they're afraid. I think they think its wrong or uncomfortable with the idea. Most people are also faithful to one person and a time in that kind of relationship.

Answer 9

i have no issue with it IF it's all mutual. I was in a 8 year relationship that was polygamous. I do however relies it's not right for everyone and monogamy is a great thing also.

Answer 10

I suppose if everyone involved is aware that you're going to act like a man-whore what's the harm? It's certainly not my kinda thing because I believe sex should be something special and not used as recreation. But hey, if you're not hurting anyone, it's your life.