Satan keeps turning down the Hell-o-stat after I go to bed, but the lack of screaming wakes me up. Thoughts?

Question

Ham B: Well...I like to keep Hell at around 12,000 degrees because any hotter and the roaring flames drown out the screams. Satan is a little punk and likes it around 70, but then I don't hear my lullabies.

Answer 1

I think they sell a relaxion tape of the sinners screaming.
Maybe not the real thing but it might just work if you play it at night.

Answer 2

In ancient Jewish tradition Satan is simply an angel doing the work that God assigned to Satan to do.

The word Satan means challenger. With the idea of Satan challenging us, or tempting if you will. This description sees Satan as the angel who is the embodiment of man's challenges. This idea of Satan works closely with God as an integral part of Gods plan for us. His job is to make choosing good over evil enough of a challenge so that it becomes clear to us that there can be only one meaningful or logical choice.

Contrast this to Christianity, which sees Satan as God's opponent. In Jewish thought, the idea that there exists anything capable of setting itself up as God's opponent would be considered polytheistic or setting up the devil to be an equally powerful polarity to god or a demigod.

Oddly, proof for The Christian satan/devil mythology is supposedly found in the ancient Jewish texts that were borrowed to create the bible. One can’t help but wonder how Christians came up with such a fantastically different interpretation of Gods assistant Satan in their theology.

Other hints about Satan’s role in human relations can be seen if you look at the name Lucifer. It’s meaning in the original tongue translates as Light bearer or light bringer. Essentially the bringer of enlightenment. The temptations of the Satan idea bring all of us eventually into Gods light. Hardly the Evil entity of Christian mythology.

Love and blessings
don

Answer 3

Two immortal, immensely powerful being. One, the omnipotent omnipresent omniscient creator of the universe. The other his eternal adversary. Can two such beings share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

Answer 4

Try slipping some handcuffs on him. Hands and feet.

Or you could just jam the lever on your Hell-o-stat. That should do the trick.

Answer 5

Perhaps he is trying to save what is left of your precious coal and oil reserves, or perhaps global warming is doing the trick and he just doesn't need to set it up so high.... sounds pretty considerate if you ask me....:)

Answer 6

Put a lock on it and keep the key around your neck.

Answer 7

Did I miss something?

Answer 8

What in the world are you talking about? Please elaborate.