can you have a great relationship with low physical attraction?

Question

I am trying hard to feel something for this guy..it's not displeasing for me to be with him or anyhting ..it's like he just doesn't arouse my interest or doesn't know how? I am always hoping I'd get in the mood...But he's a great guy, smart, funny, nice..we get along well! What is wrong??

Answer 1

Ever been with a great looking guy, but his personality is less than pleasing? One day you look at him and he just doesn't look all that good anymore?
You can be with a guy who's looks are not the best, but you have fun with him, you're compatible, he is compassionate, smart,
treats you with respect... all the qualities you're looking for. One day you look at him and he's just so cute.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there has to be chemistry, you shouldn't have to try... It just happens!
Ever hear that you don't choose who you fall in love with? True is true, it happens. We work on our relationships, but it shouldn't be work falling in love.
Also...
The old saying you can't judge a book by its cover is so true. the inside projects the outer, not vise-versa

Answer 2

Wow... some of these people are very harsh. As for your question... I don't think your doomed. I was in a relationship for over a year with this guy who I felt the same way about. If anything..... I think it was one of the BEST relationships I have ever had. Yes, sex is very important in a relationship... but think of it this way.... We have many girl friends who know us and treat us the best.... We don't have sex with them do we? lol, Well at least I don't. I know for me, when I first laid eyes on this guy, he did nothing for me. As soon as he opened his mouth to talk, I knew there was something there. Maybe it's his humor, his actions... who knows really? I would advise you to see what happens. Don't listen to the negative feedback that you receive on here. A good relationship is not ONLY made on looks and attraction itself. Although it is important. Try showing him ways that turn you on. (in a positive way). Most of all... you should enjoy each others company. If it was made to be, all the other fun stuff will fall into place.

One last thing.... Go with your gut. Your belly knows your true feelings. It sounds funny but it's true. I think the most important thing in a relationship is that the other person allows you to be "you". There is nothing better than feeling comfortable within yourself and your relationship.

hang in there, best of luck!
Feel free to email me if you want to chat.
Brianne

Answer 3

if there is no physical attraction then end it otherwise you will constantly have arguments that stem from his inability to please you in the bedroom. no matter what else about the relationship is good this is a cornerstone and without it the relationship will eventually become ugly and fall apart. you will resent him for not arousing you or you will resent yourself for not liking him either way you will be unhappy, and in turn he will be unhappy. two unhappy people in a relationship do not make for good times. just let him know the chemistry is not there and end it before it gets messy. it will save you both many headaches. i lived through the same thing you are dealing with, but we tried to make it work for 3 of the most miserable years of my life.

Answer 4

that is a pretty big problem. He may be a great and perfect guy, but probably not for you . Later in the relationship, it will not work out because physical attraction is a major part of the relationship.

Answer 5

I tried to have a relationship with a great guy, not so much physical attraction... let me tell ya, it didn't work out! It's a very important part of having and maintaining a relationship. Sorry :(

Answer 6

Why would you want a relationship devoid of physical attraction? Some people just don't belong together, no matter how "great" they may be. Your subconscious is telling you that this relationship is no good. Go with your lack of feelings. He's not for you.

Answer 7

Of course. Relationships aren't all about looks. What is really important is how you feel about him on the inside. Is he a good person? Do you feel comfortable around him? Do you feel a strong liking for him? Do you enjoy being around him? He seems great, give it time, you'll grow very fond of him.

If you feel absolutely nothing for him, maybe put your relationship back to friend status.

Good luck!

*Nicky

Answer 8

It sounds like you like this guy more like a friend than a boyfriend. There needs to be that "spark" in order for a relationship to work. If there is no spark, try just being friends with him. You can't force something that isn't there.

Answer 9

it is possible. what you have to like in a person if physical isnt good is personality but that is hard just give it time eventually he may impress you. if you are trying and you still dont have that great interest in him don't expect any big bang out of it

Answer 10

lol sounds like marriage. let me ask you something do you two take time off from each other to see if you miss him or not? sounds like you like him more of a brotherly figure. he might like you more then you like him. at least from the sounds of it. it is impossible to remain friends with a man who wants or lusts after you. on the other hand it is not fare to keep some one around when you feel that ultimatly you will not remain with that personl you are keeping yourself and him lingering missing oppurtunity to meet the right compatiable mate. you should take some time off. think about it soul search and see what you really feel. if you find that he is not truly what you want spare him the agony and yourself and move on. good luck. remember never ignore your human instinct it is usually right.