how do you get your family to stay out of your affais but they still keep own butting in. in grown with kids of my own and i do not like my family always putting me down iam sick and tired of my family
2007-06-11 05:25:08 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First realize that it's your fault they do this, not theirs. You let them butt in, and only you can stop it.
You need to stop telling them what you do, stop seeing them so much and when you do just don't tell them what is going on. Stop being available and stop letting them come over. If they show up, tell them you were just leaving and get up and go.
However you need to stop blaming them for your mistakes.
2007-06-11 05:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices; you either tell them to mind their own business and then you keep away from them or, you keep your affairs to yourself and get on with your life. If they interfer tell them how you feel. You're the only one that can make them stop even if it means you moving away from them, changing your phone number etc.
My sister did this to my Mom, she just stopped telling her things that where happening in her life. My Mom now thinks she's being secretive and its caused megga problems in the family. Just be honest and tell them what you want them to do so it doesn't get out of hand.
Good luck.
2007-06-11 12:34:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family that you're old enough to handle your own business, and when you need help you will come to them, but that they really annoy you and, even if it is with the best meaning in the world, you will avoid them if they don't stop it.
2007-06-11 13:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by Fallen_Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you say, you are an adult so put your foot down. Maybe don't tell them your business and make it known that you will just walk away from a conversation if they offer advice.
2007-06-11 12:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Pete H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refuse to discuss anything you don't want them to know about. I'm 51 and after years of that mess, I just finally stopped bringing up anything around my family that I didn't want them to know about and after a while they just quit asking. My dad was the worst about it and would lecture me. Now when he asked me something I don't concider any of his business, I either tell I don't want to talk about it or simply change the subject.
2007-06-11 12:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to this (i had same problem) is not to give them control. If you stay in control, for instance, how much info you give them, amount of time you spend with them, you will be much happier. You stay in control of what you want and what you want them to know. If they start treating you badly, you simply remove yourself from the situation. Once they see that you are serious and that you will no longer be their doormat, they will let up or they will learn that you will not spend time with them as often.
2007-06-11 12:29:26 · answer #6 · answered by kitee80 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i kept my mouth shut for years with my family,you don,t want to upset them,tou sound very much like i used to be,i got my family round to my house,and told them all,if you are going to carry on the way you are with me,i don,t need or want to see any of you.you are the one suffering the stress,and they are the ones with the problems,you know a lot of jealousy goes on in families,at the time it hurt me to say what i said,and kept on saying to myself, what have i done,it took a while before i saw or heard from them,they did come round eventually and they ended up respecting me,i thought to myself,does it take harsh words to get them to understand the way i felt,even to your families you have to be to the point,and not allow them to take over in any way,on the other hand you could have a sarcastic answer for them,and walk away,they will get the message,either way,don,t put yourself in a corner,there are always fall outs in family life,but they get over it,i was used by my family,specially my mother,why? because i never said anything,how i wish i did,my life would have been a lot more stress free.
2007-06-11 14:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by paul49177 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never. They're your family and will always be there. They are trying to look out for you and obviously feel you are making bad decisions for your life. So the question is....are you making bad decisions for your life? Should you listen to them?
2007-06-11 12:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront them, tell them how you feel and what you will and won't put up with from any of them. If they don't comply, leave them to themselves. Stay away from them for a few months, and see if it gets any better.'
Peace
2007-06-11 12:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by MissUnderstood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wash for a month ; that will keep the annoying family members away!!!
2007-06-11 14:11:21 · answer #10 · answered by ToothPasteOnTowl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋