my boyfriend hid everything from me. he hid it because he knew i wasnt that kinda person and didnt know how i would handle it. he does pot a lot, got drunk with other girls, hung out with complete whores, treated me with no respect, and used me. why are guys interested in the whores? they will only care about him for the time being until they find someone else and will leave him. i always cared 100% about him and stuck with him for almost 2 years. i didnt even know anything was going on until his best friend spilled everything to me. my boyfriend doesnt know about this and me and my boyfriend havent talked to eachother for a little over a week now. hes been hanging out with other girls..cough whores. i wrote him a letter telling him how what hes been doing to me hurts me. do you think it will even make him feel the least bit guilty about hiding stuff behind my back or do you think it wont matter to him? im not calling him cause i dont want to hear him defend himself/hang up on me.
2007-06-11 05:13:24 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
is writing a letter better than venting
2007-06-11 05:15:10 · update #1
Writing a letter is a great idea. It allows you to get all of your thoughts and emotions out uninterrupted. However, this guy sounds like a loser, and odds are, he'll laugh it off and move on. If he does feel any regret for his actions it will only be for a moment. You already said that he doesn't respect or appreciate you, and that he sneaks around behind your back, abusing alchohol and drugs and hanging around other girls....Is he really worth your time anyway?? Write the letter if you feel it will help you get past this, and then walk away from this guy for good.
2007-06-11 05:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. If you can do it and mean it and not change your mind the minute you see him, you gotta tell him face to face. Or else he will only read the letter, and seeings how hes been such a peice of **** so far, he will laugh and then probably let his friends read it and they will also laugh at it. Tell him to his face. He is nothing and even if he says he will try and change, trust me, he wont. You might think he did but then again you didnt know what he was doing at first anyway so who is to say that he is not doing it now? And if you guys havent even talked about this and havent talked for a week and he is hanging out with other girls, get rid of him. And if you dont like the kind of stuff he is doing, girl dont be with him!! You gotta be with someone who is going to RESPECT you enough to not do things that you do agree with. Or atleast give you the respect to tell you he did it or come to some mutual agreement about it. But he is an absolute dog and you need to tell him off, make yourself feel better, and MOVE ON!! He is not worth the time. And I know after two years it will suck to leave but better you find out now then 4 years down the road and then have to walk away from that. Good luck, but get rid of him! No woman deserves what he is doing to you! Be strong!
2007-06-11 05:21:03 · answer #2 · answered by *CraftyMomma* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
writing a letter is venting, in a way. And you'll be able to re-write that letter after you cool down. That way your bf gets a well-though out letter from you that he can think about. You want a change, but he's not gonna be like "OK" and then everythings fine. Either your letter gets to him, and he realizes whats up and changes in some way, or he'll defend himself and make up excuses. You are probably on your way to a breakup, but give him a chance to mature, so your relationship grows from here. That chance is going to be that letter. So I think writing a letter makes all the difference, and it is definitely not a dumb idea.
I agree with leggz1620, except that you should give him a genuine chance, but only one. There are a lot of things in the way of you two having a real relationship. He needs to know that he didn't treat you the way you deserved to be treated, that he doesn't have your trust anymore (plz don't trust him anymore until he's proven that he can be trusted again), and you'll have to eventually forgive him, I mean actually forgive him for you two to be in a relationship again. Stay strong
2007-06-11 05:22:19 · answer #3 · answered by ScotOS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Writing a letter is one of the best ideas to use in a relationship. In a matter of fact, I encourage you ALL to use letters because it takes alway that pain and suffering inside you've been keeping, while letting the other person know what you're going through...
So dont think its a dumb idea. I've wrote a love letter before and it relieved as well as helped my relationship with my significant other become more stronger.
Its just a matter of how you wrote it though, which i believe you did fine with. So cheer up smart lady!
2007-06-11 05:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by luvisuzu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The letter might help him to realize what he is doing is wrong, but I wouldn't recommend staying with him after he's done all that. I am sure that you care a great deal about him, but he is not ready for a real relationship. If you genuinely care for him, I would suggest remaining friends with him, but not pursuing a romantic relationship until it is obvious that he has matured. The time this will happen can vary greatly from a couple months to years. However, some men never mature. Only you can decide if this is worth waiting for. If not, then it's time to move on.
2007-06-11 05:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I believe your boyfriend is beyond caring for you and or let alone anybody else. Its sad that he had someone who loved him so much and he could not or just did not care to see. Guys seem to be more attrated to to a female who will do anything and more to get "what she wants" the "aggressive" ones. You know what "we" females call hoes . It makes it hard on us when you know there is always some female who is willing to do anything to get with a man even though he has a "girlfreind".
Cut your ties now you dont need him. He is not going to read that letter he may laugh about it now ..it wont hit him till much later when he realizes who he thought were his freinds are gone and .......HE IS SITTING ALL BY HIMSELF...
MAKE HIM KICK ROCKS.
GOOD LUCK
2007-06-11 05:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should send the letter no matter what, he may or may not feel guilty, however he will know how you feel. Also, this will let him know that you have uncovered the truth. Also, I want to give you props for writing the letter, sometimes, written words are more powerful than saying them, also they will stay with the person longer. Hope everything works out.
2007-06-11 05:17:48 · answer #7 · answered by qteepie215 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious this man is incapable of caring what you think or he wouldn't do those things in the first place. Stop wasting your time on someone who disrespects you. Don't write a letter, don't talk to him and move on and get happy on your own. Watch him come around then. And when he does, you better not have the time of day for him. I don't usually order people around but this crap makes me mad.
2007-06-11 05:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy cheated on you and hid his illegal activities from you, do you really think a letter is going to make a difference?
He has no honor, no responsibility, no respect and obviously doesn't care about you or your feelings.
Get out while you still can.
2007-06-11 05:16:09 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Writing a letter tends to have a better effect on people rather than talking to them. So I say write that letter and let him feel your pain and hurt
2007-06-11 05:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by plumprump26 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋