Ok long story but I will make it short. My husband's aunt (who he is not all that close to) passed away yesterday. It was not unexpected (she had cancer). The memorial service, not funeral (due to cremation), is this Saturday. In another state, about a 5-6 hour drive and definetly an over night stay. We have been planning a big party with my family for some time now which is on Saturday, and my birthday and Father's day is Sunday, which would be the day we drive back. Spending almost all day on the road. Which by the way I did on Mother's day, due to the exact same trip just different reason. I have met this aunt once and never really talked to her. We have 2 children which are very young, neither of which I would like attending a service like this. But it would be hard for us to find a sitter, due to the fact that my mother-n-law will be traveling as well. Should I go or no?!
2007-06-11 04:55:05 · 4 answers · asked by Lauren J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband is going, NO MATTER WHAT. He is getting ill with me for even considering not going. A few friends have suggested cards and flowers, but since he is going is that appropriate or needed.
2007-06-11 05:20:28 · update #1
What does your husband want to do? Was he close to his aunt? Would it cause a problem with his family if he doesn't go? Could you send a card? Flowers?
Edit: As per your additional details I would strongly suggest going with your husband. This memorial sounds like it is very important to him. Your two young children shouldn't be negatively affected by going especially considering that it is a memorial and they won't be subjected to a dead body.
If you decide not to go, it may make your husband feel better if you send him off with not only a heartfelt card of condolence for your mother in law but also a basket with food and other things that you know she likes. A phone call to her expressing your condolences and also your regret that a previous family engagement/ kids not up for a long car ride prevents you from going is also in order.
Funerals/memorials are not for the dead, they are for the living. One of the living being your husband and it sounds like he needs/wants badly for you to support him during this time.
2007-06-11 04:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go & support your husband - you are an adult now & can celebrate your birthday on a different day.
My daughter's 18th birthday was on the day of a relatives funeral - she did not complain one bit and everyone knew it was her birthday. She gained alot of respect from everyone.
2007-06-11 05:50:10 · answer #2 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt go. but would send flowers from the family....
2007-06-11 06:02:20 · answer #3 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not necessary for you to go but, if this is your mil's sister, your husband should go with her.
2007-06-11 05:18:54 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋