I am 24 and she is 53. I know, big age gap. But we are in love and have fantastic sex together. I know I asked previous question about me worrying about our relationship and I have sorted that out. But she worries as well. She feels I am wasting my life away with her. What can I do to reassure her that it is her, and only her that I want to spend the rest of my life with? She has been hurt by a lot of men in her life and I want to reassure her that I will not leave her. She also worries what other people thinks about us having a relationship together and what we get up to in the bed room. I have tried everything. What can I do?
2007-06-11 04:53:01 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is a weird age gap. But, feelings are feelings, so I can't (won't) try to fault you for that. Of course you're having fantastic sex with her: she's an older, more experienced woman who is comfortable with her body and who she is. Older women tend to be great in the sack (ahem) just because of the experience they have under their belt. But, all you can do is tell her how you feel and leave the rest to her. Of COURSE she's going to be uncertain: she's 29 YEARS OLDER than you! She's probably waiting for the day you find someone more your age. Older women that date younger guys tend to have this thought in the back of their minds almost all the time, whether they say anything about it or not. Just be there for her...now. You cannot promise someone that you'll never leave. Someone else pointed this out, but...in 7 years, she'll be 60 and you'll have barely broken the 30yr mark. You also have to remember that older people develop a lot of physical (medical) problems. She's trying to be realistic about the situation, and it SEEMS as though you are the one with the romatic ideals. Just be a good boyfriend. That's really all you can do. Hats off to you! :0)
2007-06-11 05:05:09 · answer #1 · answered by smallweed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are unlikely to change her views...even if they are no longer discussed such an age gap is always going to be there....and will become more and more physically noticeable as the years progress....as you will not age much but she will and quickly...
I wish you all the best but consider what you are doing carefully.....you might be happy with the current ages of the two of you but these will not remain constant....what about in 5 years when she is 58 say, and you are still in your 20s?
It sounds a little bit like you want mothering to me......and possibly you are inexperienced or have been hurt by younger girls...maybe you have no confidence in yourself. If so, an older woman who is past the attractive age for most, becomes a viable and reassuring option for you....? You will shamke your head and disagree....but deep down why here at this time in your life....?
I wish you well - take time out and come to the right decision for you....
2007-06-11 11:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Robbo31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you but age is nothing but a number at the end of the day. you are still two people capable of loving each other. sounds like she's having trouble trusting you as she's been hurt before. a lot of reassurance goes a long way. my ex didn't reassure me enough that he cared for me and loved me so i had to leave him, he could always say it - easier said - but never show it.
you shouldn't and she shouldn't worry about what others think of you, after all no-one can help who they fall in love with, it's just a feeling that pops up and wont go away. it controls you and makes us all do silly things.
you could write her a heartfelt poem and buy her a gift so she knows you're for real. it won't be the gift itself you must know, it'll be the gesture of giving her something to show her how you feel that will help her believe.
good luck, i hope you convince her.
:D
2007-06-11 13:39:36 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Tickle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age gap is definitely a problem. She is probably worried about you spending time with her, only to get bored because she is old and wasting away. She will think you are off finding a girl your own age, and you will realize that you ARE wasting your time with her, and in reality you were only wanting a mother figure that you never had in your life.
There is nothing you can do. She is the one with the problem. Not you. She spends too much of her time worrying about what people are thinking and not enough time sleeping with you.
2007-06-11 12:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by A c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing you can do but stick with it. Time and patience are the only things that will stand the test.
It is a huge age gap. There are surely other factors running through her mind - her family, her friends, her children (if she has any), her co-workers, your desire for children, etc. - you're young enough to be her son.
Good luck to you both - it won't be an easy road, but if it is what you want - it's what you want. Be strong and confident and nothing will stand in your way.
2007-06-11 12:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by pepper 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u know something this gap is really not good.. its more like she is ur mom.. come on how many years will she live .. and what will u do if she leaves u.. u have got soo much years ahead of u... u can care for her.. but i dont think so u love her and she is very right to think that she is wasting ur time.. and have u thought what happens u really fall in love after three years.. how ill u make her understand at taht time..
u will end up hurting u and her..
dont do her that.. do care for her... but love if out of question..
2007-06-11 12:01:16 · answer #6 · answered by virgogirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
like most people have said to me when i have dated a younger girl, and even looking at my parents marriage, i can tell you that age makes no difference whatsoever to how you feel about each other. now because of her past experiences, no-one can blame her for worrying, all you can do is be supportive and stick by her, no matter what.
2007-06-11 11:58:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actions always speak louder than words, and in this case, a lot of words won't make any difference. Basically, only time will solve this dilemma.
2007-06-11 11:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that you can do to fight her inner demons. She needs to work through her doubts and fears. Counseling may help her and couples counseling might be good for you both. You just have to love her and support her and stand proudly by her side. Show her in deed and in word that she is the one for you.
2007-06-11 11:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just make sure you dont hurt her or leave her or lie to her or cheat on her. Im sure things will be fine as long as you are true to your word.
Good Luck
2007-06-11 11:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋