I broke up with my boyfriend of ten years over the weekend. I am very sad but he does a lot of mean and hurtful things to me. Now my question is if he loves me he may change his ways and come back right? Im not going to answer any calls or messages from him unless he apolozes profusely for things he has done in the past. Am I making a mistake? I'm scared that he may realize that he doesn't love me. He didn't want to break up, he just wanted to take a break. I feel like I need to just put my foot down and not call him and not answer him, because I feel that is the only way I will be able to know for sure if you he loves by trying to win me back. Am I wrong to think that? Anyone ever been in my situation? I really appreciate everyones opionions. Thanks.
2007-06-11 04:46:49 · 17 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
1st things 1st....u can NOT change a person. Especially a man. If he loved you, he wouldn't do mean and hurtful things to you. Why would you want someone back that makes you feel less than who you are or want to be. It is going to be the hardest trying not to answer his calls and hopefully he realizes the things he's been doing wrong and makes improvements. But if he doesn't, oh well. People are like leaves. When its time for them to go they fall off. Some people are only supposed to be in our lives for a certain period of time. Maybe for their own good or yours. Whichever the case may be, everyone leaves ur life for a reason. If you guys have been together for that long and have no ties, no kids and ur not married then maybe its best not to look back but to continue your journey forward. And when its time, u will meet that one person that you don't have to take drastic measures in order for them to prove they love you. Trust me.. When its time....it will happen. But don't be stuck with someone who you know is no good for you and have the person of your dreams pass you by!!
2007-06-11 04:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Chen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be, if you have known him for 10 years then the behaviour he has displayed in that time is who he is. He won't change. He might try, and things may be different for a short time, but ultimately he will revert to his 'normal' behaviour.
If you have any doubt that he is the one for you then you owe it to yourself (most importantly) but also to him to break this off. Staying in a wrong relationship won't help either of you and would prevent you both from meeting people that are better for you. It might be painful now, and you might want to get back together out of habit, but honestly it's better to make a clean break and move on.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
2007-06-11 11:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy to break up with someone - you're always gonna love him in the way. But if he's done the hurtful things, and has always kept doing them despite what you say to him about it, then it's a wise decision to break up with him - not easy, but smart and probably the right choice. Just try and stay friends, but don't go back out with him.
2007-06-11 11:50:49 · answer #3 · answered by ------ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow 10 years is a long time. an if he didnt change with in any those years then why do u want 2 get back together with some one that treats u bad?? ur better off with out him. find some body better, some one thats going 2 treat u right an treat u with respect.
2007-06-11 11:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by AUBRIE L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when there are problems in a relationship like the one you are describing, things don't tend to work out well. What you are saying is you want him to change or you want to change him. It doesn't happen as often as we'd like.
It sounds like time away from each other is good for both and it gives you a chance to date other people to see if someone more compatiable is around.
2007-06-11 11:51:21 · answer #5 · answered by David B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is normal...but if he doesn't "get it" or want you back why does that scare you? You should be happy that you aren't with someone that doesn't do mean and hurtful things to you anymore. It'll be hard because you guys have been together for 10 years but, trust me, you can find someone that will be with you for 10 years that will never do mean or hurtful things to you.
2007-06-11 11:50:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think your making a mistake because it sounds like he does a lot of hurtful things to you if its true love hell come back if he realizes he never loved you than that's the way its meant to be remember everything happens for a reason you may find the love of your life someone who will treat you like your supposed to be treated
2007-06-11 11:53:45 · answer #7 · answered by lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow ten years sorry about that, sounds like the two of you really need a break from each other. Be happy you were not married.
2007-06-11 11:49:50 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lilly,
"I am very sad but he does a lot of mean and hurtful things to me."
If your relationship has been like what you state for ten years, child what took you so long. Life's to short, find someone to grow with.
Good Luck..........
2007-06-11 12:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by nj_michael 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex-girlfriend who was mad at me for some reason,.. so she decided to stop talking to me until i apologized.
I called her cell but she didn't answer, so i got her answering machine and i just said il try to reach you again another time,.. then i text messaged her to tell her to call me, because i had plans id like to do with her, but she never called me. I had to hear it (why she was mad at me) from my mother who talked with her mother,.. (anyways...)
I never called her back. I found somebody else.
The point is, if you have a problem with somebody, let him or her know about it, and don't wait for that person to come crawling back at you. We are not puppets or lost dogs.
Its not a game,.. its called communication, thats how a relationship works.
2007-06-11 11:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by a Friend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋