Do you ever get over your first love?

Question

It's so sad--

Honestly I haven't thought about her in weeks until one of my friends parents asked "Oh, have you talked with your girlfriend since you came home from overseas? I know she got married and all...Well, don't worry about it. He's cute, but you're cuter."

It's been a frickin long time--a couple of years. I've been out with countless other girls, but the only one I want is the one I can't have.

What I'm wondering is: Does it ever honestly stop hurting? Or is it going to bring bittersweet memories every time I think of it for the rest of my life?

Answer 1

i went through hell and back with my first love, so getting over that person was hard but not impossible. now i am married to a prince! and i dont regret it either. somethings were just not meant to be.

Answer 2

Depends. If you have a healthy mindset, deal with your problems well, and find new love and a good relationship, then you'll always have your memories, but you'll be long over it. I haven't thought of my first love in years. Thinking of her now... I don't feel much. That was then, and this is now. I'm happily married to someone a million times better.

The problem is that a lot of those memories you have that are so nice are just an idealized version of what really happened. The truth is that if you were back with her, it likely would not work out. She is not the woman you imagine her to be.

Answer 3

You learn to love him/her in a different way if you really allow yourself to understand why you are apart in the first place. After that milestone (however long it may take 'cause sometimes it takes longer for some than others), you more readily look to someone else to share the intimate details of your life. So yes, I'm a firm believer that you get over your first love at least in the romantic sense. I still very much care for my first love, wish nothing but the best for him. But there are reasons it didn't work out and there's not going back for me. A telltale sign you should move on is the fact that she got married. She found happiness, so should you.

Answer 4

I still occasionally "think" about my first love and have fond memory's of him.
But it doesn't hurt and I don't feel sad, they are simply memorys of a person that I first learned about "love" with.

Alot of times people have whats called "euphoric recall" when it comes to certain people or events.
Basically your associating her with the great feelings that LOVE brings.
Since,You have no other person you have felt this with (yet), you "think" she is the only source of those feelings...so in your mind so far, she is the "only" one that can provide those feelings.
This doesn't mean what you had wasn't special, it was.
You learned a wonderful lesson and had the courage to open your heart to another person.
But she isn't the only person you can experience Love with. Someone else will eventually steal your heart and you will "find" love again :)
In the meantime, keep a special place in your heart for her and know that you will find "your" true love.

*** I did have the opportunity to revisit my "first love" about 10 years after we broke -up. I had been married, had a child, was divorced and he called to catch -up.
We decided to see each other again, so
I flew out to San Diego and we spent a wonderful week + together.
Our feelings were still there and we did become "romantic". But after that we both returned to our own lives and didn't rekindle the relationship beyond that.
Partuially because of the distance and different goals at that stage in our lives. Partially because we really just needed to revisit a special time in our lives and that was enough.
I swear we were transported back in time , it was weird.

I think it was good for both of us to get a "realistic" view and see that we still deeply cared for each other, but we had different paths.

Good luck and remember Love is abundant

Answer 5

You never forget your first...you just have to accept that it is over and move on. Keep in mind that when and if the two of you are meant to be together or be any part of each-others lives, you will be, it might have a great deal to do with timing and you can't force it. Until then, don't live in the past and spend too much time thinking about what once was...get on with your life and experience all that you can...above all, find your own happiness...You never know what tomorrow will bring. Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

It sucks to lose your first love it really does... but things happen for a reason... its gonna take some time to get you to.. but try going out with other people.... and when some one brings her up in conversation just say that you've moved on...

it might seem like you will never find anyone to replace her but that's not true.. the person that you could love could be anyone.. a random person walking down the street, someone in the coffee house.. even someone that answers the question you ask...


JUST HAVE FAITH!!!! Everything will work out fine

Answer 7

You do get over your first love-eventually,and in the mean time it's gonna be hard. The first cut is the deepest(that is very true). But the bitter sweet memories will start to fade and you will be happy again(everything happens for a reason), you might find the ONE now. I'm happily married, but my first love was in high school and I do sometimes think of him, but not in a "I MISS HIM" kinda way, but a "I WONDER WHAT HE'S UP TO THESE DAYS" kinda way. You just have to let go and allow yourself to fall in love again.

Answer 8

No. You'll always think about your first love. But sometimes it's best to just think about the way it was than to find out who that person turned out to be in their later years. People change. If you would have ended up with that person, you may have ended up bitter enemies. Things happen for a reason. Just keep the happy memories and leave it at that.

Answer 9

Nope
Like a scar...you are always reminded of the experience...whether it was your fault or not.

They fade but they never go away...and your mind has a great way of reminding you about them..whenever anything feels familiar.

No worries..your job is to remember it and learn from it. It is/was and always will be a traumatic experience...but you need to understand yourself in order to move on....so that you don't repeat it again...

Don't set such high expectations..with guaranteed assurances that happily ever after exists. Break down those walls and find your way back down to realtiy..on common ground..level earth....keep your wings in check..and don't use them until you're ascending into heaven.

Best of luck.

Answer 10

Dude stop being such a baby and let go of her. She is married now, so get the thought of her out of your head. Yes it stops hurting. First loves are just that, first loves. rarely does anyone ever end up with their first love. Stop thinking that you can somehow get her back, because you can't. That ship as sailed.
Tell your family to stop mentioning her,it's the past, and let it be the past.

Answer 11

I don't think you can ever stop either remembering or forgetting your first love. I don't want them back but I always think about them and what they are doing? You're doing the right thing by going out with other people. I hope this helps. Take care.