I am STILL waiting on 16 RSVP reponse cards back ... the RSVP due date was June 5th. I have to turn my final head count and seating chart to the Reception Hall this saturday! Is it tacky to contact people who haven't RSVP'd yet? What should I do?? Help!! I don't want them showing up at the wedding, and I don't have a meal for them or a name place card? Help!? thanks!
2007-06-11 02:51:38 · 10 answers · asked by fal131313 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You should call and demand an answer. If these people are so tacky that they would not respond with to a prepaid RSVP, then you know they are tacky enough to show up at your wedding with the expectation of getting filthy drunk at your open bar. Make it clear to them that there will only be room at the reception for those you reserve in advance and that you need to know now---don't let them call you or email you later because that will go just as well as the RSVP cards.
2007-06-11 03:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by RD 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's really rude and I always RSVP right away... I'm sick and tired of planning events and never knowing if people are coming! You know what else ticks me off along these lines? Twice a year, at Christmastime and around my daughter's birthday (in June) I send cards out to friends and family with a picture included, to keep in touch, because I am busy and they are busy, and it's nice to hear from people every now and then and see how they're doing. The past year or two, I have stopped sending to people I haven't heard from in the past year and a half. My opinion is that if someone can't make time in a year and a half to call me, send me an email, or write a letter (or send a cookie cutter christmas card!) then clearly it is not important to them to hear from me. Can you believe that there are people (pretty much mostly my relatives on my mother's side) who have the audacity to be surprised that I no longer correspond with them. I respond to letters I receive promptly - in less than a week - and I return phone calls and emails within a day or two. I am not hard to stay in touch with. But for some reason I get this "We should get together! Let's stay in touch!" reaction from people who do not respond to me for years on end. I say good riddance - I for one am sick and tired of people who think they are too busy to take three minutes a year to talk to me. Clearly, anyone who cares about anyone at all would do this, especially when the other person initiates the conversation. (Sorry about the rant -- but I thought you'd get this!)
2016-05-17 07:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your choice, but you can either call them, or hire Mr. T to stand at the reception hall door to turn people away, LOL.
Seriously, call them yourself, or get someone to help you with it, preferably an older relative who knows how to use guilt to get an answer out of someone. Once you have called them, then you do not have to admit them to the reception. Calling them now will save you from a bigger headache, and possibly a bad scene at the reception.
How rude of them, but this is common. Our pre-reunion HS party is in two weeks, and we have not heard from a soul
Call them once, leave a message once, they have until Saturday to respond, so you can give your head count to the Hall.
Keep it light and airy "Hey, JIm and Nancy, this is the bride, haven't heard from you, so are you coming to the wedding on June 30th? The head count for the caterer is due Saturday morning, so if I haven't heard from you by then, I'll take you off the reception list. Thanks! Bye" should do it.
No, it isn't tacky, I've seen those wedding shows on Dish and Cable, and their wedding planners have the bride and groom calling non-responders.
And if they show up at the wedding, have someone, a member of the wedding party or a relative, go up to them and say, sorry, there is no reservation for you. Plan for this in advance, maybe one of your guests is a linebacker on your college team.
And the day of the wedding, or at the reception, "it must have got lost in the mail" or "the dog ate it"is not a good enough excuse, especially after you have called them. That is why you are calling them now, to avoid lame, stupid excuses at the reception.
Good luck, and congrats on your wedding.
2007-06-11 03:17:22 · answer #3 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem when I got married on May 25, 2007. What I did is I had my mom call the people, because then I'm not spending my valuable bride time calling people, and it was my mom's family. If these people are family, have your parents call them, or else an aunt. If they are friends, assign the job to your Maid of Honor, or the same Aunt.
A little advice though....some people are not going to come even though they RSVPed and some people are going to come who said they weren't going to come. If you are doing a buffet dinner, plan for all the people you invited that RSVPed and some extra for those who will still show up anyways. Sit down dinner, you should still have some extras.
Good Luck and Congratulations!
2007-06-11 06:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People that work in this industry are usually ready for anything you can throw at them. That is a large ammt. to accommodate at the last min. (I really wish people would learn the art of the RSVP...jeez!) but I'm sure they can handle it and will bill you. You can also enlist the help of your Mom if the guest is on your side, grooms Mom on his side or Maid of honor if it's a friend to simply call and ask"will you be joining us for the reception?" The hotel I used refunded the $ we paid for 5 people that did not attend. Check on that as well . Good luck!!!!
2007-06-11 03:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by Ee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way is it tacky. It's perfectly acceptable to call the people who have not RSVP'd to ask them if they are coming or not. Let me share this true story with you.
One bride rang her friend to ask if he was coming or not, as he hadn't RSVP'd. After he asked her when it was and at what time (information that had been on the invitation that he's misplaced some weeks ago) he eventually replied with "Hmm, I dunno. My ex-boyfriend is competing in trials that day to make it into the Mr. Gay America pageant but I'll see what I can do".
2007-06-11 03:31:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Turn in your head count as you have it. If they show up at the wedding, appoint someone (not you of course) to politely inform them that they don't have places for them reserved at the reception. They knew when the response cards were due.
2007-06-11 02:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would have started calling people today.
It is SO rude when people do not respond before the RSVP date!
2007-06-11 08:30:53 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is this..........all invitations that require RSVP should also state that when and if you don't receive any RSVP by a certain date, the invitation is considered null and void ie the invitation is rescinded,.... they are uninvited.
2007-06-11 04:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmm, well just contact them and try making them feel guilty instead you feeling tacky, say that I've been waiting a couple of days for your reply and my finace needs to know so he can arrange everything so will you be coming? If you dont call them and they show up it might be a bit embarassing if you get me
2007-06-11 02:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by ஐ♥-mªrìªm-ஐ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋