My (almost 3 year old) daughter was the flower girl in my brother`s wedding last week and everyone thought she was adorable..we tried to teach her to drop the pedals, but she ended up picking them up instead! Other than that (and it was really more cute than anything), I thought she did an excellent job. She didn`t scream or cry for one thing. Some of my relatives complained that she was "stealing the show" and distracting everyone from the wedding vows as she kept accidentaly dropping the pedals and picking them up again. I left her alone, as she was being quiet and at least had something to do to keep her busy! My aunt told me I should have gone up there and snatched her out of the spotlight. My brother and SIL really didn`t even notice. Wouldn`t it have even been more distracting for me to snatch her away (probalby would have really made her kick and scream!)?
2007-06-11 02:16:07 · 26 answers · asked by Smiley 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think the flower girl was being cute and well behaved. People who have children in the wedding are prepared for the ups and downs. They know the child might be a brat (yours wasn't, from your description) but don't mind and sometimes look forward to the cute antics (like yours).
If guests were more interested in watching the little girl than listening to the vows, then that's their problem. What if they'd been distracted by the great aunt who sobbed loudly, or the cousin who was wearing an obnoxious and low-cut dress?
Had you rushed up and grabbed her, and made her kick and scream, all of the naysayers would have thought "Oh, why did she do that? The girl was being quiet, why did she have to go and ruin that?" Sometimes, you just can't please everyone.
I'm willing to bet that when the newlyweds watch their wedding video, they're thinking "Oh, how cute!" So don't worry about this.
2007-06-11 02:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I would talk with the bride and groom and explain that some people feel this way. That you are sorry if you did not do what they felt was appropriate, but having a child kicking and screaming would have been worse in your opinion. I am sure if they did not notice, then they are going to say how foolish the aunt is. If the aunt continues, ask her to be the bridal consultant at the next wedding and remove small children as she sees fit. I am sure she will not appriciate this comment. I would also let her know what the bride and groom have said. I would also ask her if she would have been more annoyed at the screaming and yelling that would have taken place had she removed her. Everyone knows kids do things in weddings that is why they pick them for these parts to take some of the tension out of the day. You aunt needs to have her emily post book removed from her behind.
2007-06-11 02:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by mamatucker 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I agree with everyone else, it's all part of having children in the ceremony. I've been to weddings were parents have pulled fidgety but basically well behaved children back into the pew with them and it DID cause more of a scene and was considerably more distracting than the child moving around a little bit. At one, the minister had to acutally stop the ceremony, the child started to scream so loudly! If your daughter had started crying or had wanted to come sit with, it would have been a different story. But in the situation you described, you did the right thing. Besides, cute kids in fancy cloths "steal the show," it's a wedding fact! If the B&G didn't care, why should anyone else. Hopefully, your aunt and others can just let it go!
2007-06-11 04:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Basically, your aunt and some other people blamed you for not doing what they could have done themselves...
They obviously didn't feel it was appropriate to correct the girl, but they did feel it was appropriate for you to do so.
In addition to that, lots of people didn't even notice.
So perhaps the offended people could just take an example from some other people who did manage to stay focussed and did not lose attention over small matters.
And finally, they give you these constructive criticisms AFTER the wedding.
Why? So you can do a better job next week, when your brother marries again?
Or because they think the wedding should be done again because this one wasn't good?
Seems like some people fail to see the point of a wedding: You do it once. Complaining afterwards is not going to make things better the next time, because there isn't going to be a next time.
It just satisfies their personal need to complain.
Their complaints are totally futile.
Either ignore the complaints, or ask them when the wedding should be held again. Can they make it next Saturday?
No, no of course they weren't suggesting the wedding should be done again. So, why were they complaining then?
2007-06-11 03:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by mgerben 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your relatives are morons. She probably looked adorable and she did not steal the show. You had a 3 year old quiet for a whole ceremony. The bride and groom knew what they were in for when they selected such a young flowergirl. My niece turned 2 the week before my wedding. She threw a temper tantrum at the rehersal and we didn't think she was going to be able to do it. The next day she walked in with mom (my sil - a bridesmaid) with her pail of flowers in one hand and her dora doll under her other arm like a football. Grandma held her throughout the ceremony. I was just glad that she was able to be part of the day.
2007-06-11 10:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing If you whould have went up there and got her it would have then a very loud and you would have been the one (in the spot light) or what ever your aunt said.She was quiet and i bet it was cute so there you go. Had she been talking or dancing or anthing like that they somewould had said something too. A three year old can not stand still that long but it sounds like your daughter did a good job at it. If your brother or his bride were worried about it then thay should have had her sit with you. at a lot of weddings the little kids sit down.Did your bortother or sister in law say anything to you? THen let the one who have nothing better to do the be Bit@#y about it and do not let it get to you.
2007-06-11 02:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by movievixin 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but Your relatives are morons.... that's the best part of having children in the wedding.. they do such cute stuff. Your aunt sounds like an old fuddy duddy. I was at a baby shower with my friend and her son... her son kept spinning in circles and hitting on the other little girls- offering them hugs and kisses. Well, he's two and 4 old ladies started complaining about him being distracting from the "mommy to be" opening her gifts- give me a freaking brake. Like you really need to concentrate to see another diaper genie. My friend tried to make him sit which then only resulted in crying. Kids have to be kids and if people can't accept that then maybe they 1 shouldn't have them there and 2. don't have any.
2007-06-11 02:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think your family is silly. She's two for goodness sake! Snatching her away would have definatly made a scene. You did the right thing. Besides...if they were really there to see the bride and groom then they should have been able to ignore the flower girl playing with the petals. If the bride and groom did care/notice then it must have not been THAT distracting. 8 0 )
2007-06-11 03:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is not like your daughter was standing right next to the bride and groom. Your aunt should have been watching the bride and groom and not looking all over the church. I am sure she did not steal the show and I am sure she was cute. If the bride and groom were worried about her in the wedding they would have not put her in there. Her playing with the petals is 100% better then her screaming and dancing all over.
2007-06-11 05:11:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, no matter what you do there is no pleasing some people, I think you did the right thing, she was just being a child, but at least she was being a quiet child, and it would have caused more fuss if you had got up and carried her away. Totally ignore your aunt, far better that she was quiet and occupied than screaming her head off. Can I borrow her for my wedding?
2007-06-11 03:23:07 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋