Ok my wife is becoming very unmotivated. She has had 8 jobs in the past year and a half, which I understand she did not like so 1 she got fired and the other 7 she quit. Some after just a few days, well we are not financially stable as I make 45000 which is fine for bills, but just when we get some money saved up she quits a job and it is 2 weeks before she get another. I love her to death, but it is just killing me. She told me last night that I should just work some overtime and she would stay home and clean/cook. We tried that with a job I had about a year ago and she never cooked or cleaned she just spent the $ I gave her. What do I do? I was financially stable until this started happening now we are getting behind on bills and low on money all the time. I just do not know what to do anymore?
2007-06-11 02:10:15 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
Do you have kids that she has to stay home with to avoid paying child care?? If not then don't give her any money to spend. Tell her it's for bills. If she wants spending money she has to start helping out. You can't make her work so all you can do is talk with her again. If the bills are getting behind I can't figure out why she wouldn't want to help out. There are jobs where she can sit all day and still make money. Sounds like a headache... Good luck!
2007-06-11 02:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how old your wife is...if she is in her 20s she probably just needs to realize that you can't do everything yourself, and that you need her help if you want to maintain the lifestyle that you had before. The fact that she has worked before shows that she is certainly capable of it. I would definitely stop giving her money, as this just enforces the belief that she does not actually have to work for money. She also probably has an unrealistic expectation of how much money you make and what the bills are. Maybe you two can sort out an agreement that she help pay for some of the bills (since she won't committ to cooking/cleaning), and maybe get some of them changed over into her name, so she will realize the importance of contributing her share. Either way, this situation is not fair to you, it sounds like she expects you to do everything for her.
2007-06-11 11:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first chapter of this story is missing. What was your and her expectations? Was it discussed? Was it aggreed upon?
If there wasn't a mutual understanding of a dual income lifestyle, you're just going to have to suck it up.
However, If both of you aggreed and understood that it would take the both of you to work to support your lifestyle, and she's not holding up her end of hte bargain, then you need to talk. You may want to show her on paper what the bills are, how much you make and how short you are from your desired goal and lifestyle without creating a mountain of debt.
By nagging her a or putting her down, you'll destroy her confidence and desire to work. You need to build her up and support her to get the best job she will enjoy and that will also help support the family. Be positive.
2007-06-11 02:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be completely honest with you...that was me when i was married. And she will NEVER change. I have been there and done that, also have known other women like it. Give up now, or put up with it.. I have had husbands threaten to leave me and all the other crap that goes along with it. NOTHING worked. Finally I decided i was unhappy and I left those men and now I am happy and clean alittle more, I am not perfect or close to it, but I know who I am
I was married 2 times for a total of 25 yrs, and people are who they are. If its been this way for years it is the way she is. Trust me
2007-06-11 03:30:53 · answer #4 · answered by jlk806 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the two of you thought about her starting her own cleaning business? That is if she wants to stay home and clean, why not do it for money? Sounds like she has issues working for other people! Trouble with finances is a sure way to ruin any good relationship-resentments start to build and feelings start to get hurt.
2007-06-11 02:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she possibly depressed? Or have a thyroid problem or something causing fatigue? If not, just sit her down and be blunt- you want her to get her act in gear and find a job she'll stick with, to build a JOINT future together, that won't crumble if an emergency occurs.
2007-06-11 02:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, you sound incredibly sparkling. Now i'm not one to sell divorce, nor am I one to sell consciously choosing to stay unhappy. each little thing else aside (affair etc)...in case you have been to stroll out as we talk, might you have any regrets? Is there something left to salvage? have you ever tried counseling? have you ever tried asking her what she needs extra of or much less of in the marriage and from you? have you ever shared your feeling together with her and asked her if she's keen to be your substantial different in revitalizing your marriage (provided you may forgive her and pass your self previous the affair). finally, as quickly as I went with the aid of my own divorce there replaced right into a era the place i replaced into in limbo and couldnt fathom the thought-approximately sharing my little ones in the time of holidays etc. Ultimatly, it got here all the way down to the certainty that i could not abdomen the possibility of having my 3 infants witness an unhappy marriage, and repeat it of their own lives (all of us comprehend infants study what they stay, not inevitably what we tell them). Plus, I had an unwilling substantial different to artwork on it. After 4 years of attempting each perspective, i desperate to bypass away. I had, and function on no account had any regrets (plus, I now delight in a favorable dating with my ex). once you stumble on each perspective and verify out each little thing, the respond will come to you. Be careful of any assumptions you have gotten approximately divorce or staying married, like "my daughter would be ruined/broken for all times", "our marriage can on no account be the comparable", etc....stay open to miracles...the two way! I even have lived them, and that i comprehend you may as well.
2016-11-10 02:19:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bravo IDoradwaste like your answer, anyhoo this site can teach you how to make extra money online so it might help you out alittle, depending on how much effort you put into it (or your wife whoever is willing to do it).
2007-06-11 05:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
either she has a mental problem or is plain lazy take her to a doctor or tell to get off her butt make her own money to spend don't give her any money
2007-06-11 02:23:59 · answer #9 · answered by jakespeed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well apparently you have a computer so tell her to get on yahoo hot jobs and look for new job listings
2007-06-11 02:26:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋