We have family members that wants to come and sleep over at our house. Unfortunately I have a huge problem with them, they don't clean up after themselves (even if you ask them directly) and they are a bit unhigienic as well. They cause a lot of tension between me and my hubby because I don't want them to sleepover. It's fine if they visit for the day, that I can cope with, but other than that I just don't have the patience. And I'm not talking about them leaving dirty mugs somewhere, I'm talking really bad stuff. Any advice/ideas on how we can resolve this? I don't want my hubby to not see them, but I also don't want it to cause so much strain on our relationship.
2007-06-10 22:38:42 · 14 answers · asked by Charmaine V 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell them the new rule in your house is no one is allowed to spend the night. Vists are one thing but spending the night is not allowed. If they ask why, tell them because it's your house and you say so.
2007-06-11 01:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having some maintence work done at your house,they can stay at a local B&B and then come round fro coffee..make a cake..and perhaps go out for a meal or a walk with them.I can undersatnd your objections compleatly..i am not obsessive about tidying..but there is a balance to be found.I am a mother of two..my husbnad runs a buisness from home and it is upto me to keep the place nice,the children help out too as a way of teaching them,preparing them for adulthood and teaching them good hygine like washin gthier hands before a meal etc..teach them the basics and the rest will follow.You cannot change thier family..but you can keep them at arms length.
2007-06-10 22:48:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly how you feel...i too had this problem recently...so i stopped them from staying over, my home was like a tip by the time they left, and yes, not dirty mugs, i mean it was filthy stinking rotten, what you could do is tell them that you and your hubby is off on a short break around the same time they plan to visit, or tell them you'll be out and not home for the whole time or just tell them outright that your stopping everyone from sleeping over in future because it's causing a rift with you and your husband, it's best to be honest hun, i let it go on for a long time, so it was my fault for allowing it, but eventually i snapped and told them all to leave, i got all their stuff together, and i put it in bags and i threw them all out...sounds bad hun but i had to, i could not take any more of it..by the way i am not talking about my family here, i am talking about my ex's kids who are all grown up with kids themselves, they were disgustingly lazy, it's fine now coz i got shut of him too, he was just as bad
2007-06-11 00:22:11 · answer #3 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them it doesn't suit you to have them stay over, and that they can't. If they don't like this and say they won't come, just smile and say 'whatever you like'. Do NOT try to talk them around to coming for the day, they will walk all over you.
If they really want to see you, they will go along with what you ask. Otherwise be firm.
Yes, it will cause a flurry, but it will also get the message across.
2007-06-10 22:43:03 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are family members of your hubby, then he should tell them when they can come and that they can not stay over and offer to book them B&B... near by.
my best alternative was to meet away from home and all have ONE night B&B. ENOUGH TIME TO SEE EACH OTHER, and you don't have there mess.
Realy it is your husbands place to back you in this and he must be firm about it....
2007-06-10 22:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by sr looloo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think everyone has a problem similar to this with the inlaws, get your hubby to talk to them, i found the best way to deal with it and a friend reccomended me to try it also is to back off, dont moan at your hubby, take it in your stride and you will find that he will get fed up with them and how they treat you, and he will say something, but while you are moaning about them and argueing with him he is getting defensive to them, so dont say anything and you will see soon enough he will be on your wave length. i tried it and it works for me, he is always moaning about them to me now lol
2007-06-10 22:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your hubby needs to understand as i bet its you that ends up cleaning it all after them.
Your hubby needs to tell them if they come to visit they have to be more respectful while they are in your home.
If he cant then why put up with a husband that doesnt care about you - you are his priority not them !
2007-06-10 22:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Swan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to explain to them why just your hubby. So when you know they are coming make a reservation for them at a hotel.
2007-06-10 22:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just say no. Then book them in at the local b&b
2007-06-10 22:41:17 · answer #9 · answered by proud walker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then if it's your hubbys visitor's, i suggest you ask him to go out with them or just tell him clean up after them.
DO NOT CLEAN UP. or they will keep doing it.
2007-06-10 22:43:18 · answer #10 · answered by JINX_ME 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋