Why do all mothers -in - law never like their Daughters-in -law?

Question

Why are MILs are always caustic in their remarks with sharp tongue?
Why do they relish a fight between the son and his wife?
Is it universal ?

Answer 1

WHY DOG RUN BEHIND A CAT. BUT CAN NOT CATCH.

Answer 2

I dont know if its universal, but it is sure to happen in all families where the son doesnt know how to balance bet. his wife and mom. Generally, the dislike comes from the possessiveness the mother has for the son. There might be other reasons money, letting off the heat, revenge(they might have suffered under their mil's) They relish the fight bec. that is where they can go in and widen the gap, turn the son against the wife and treat the d-i-l like a dirt. The solution simple the son has to show his mother that he respects her and loves his wife too. Dont let either side mistreat the other.

Answer 3

its not that all mother-in-laws don't like their daughter-in-laws, but its more common to see that they don't like each other.

i think it's mainly because the daughter-in-law is leaving her family to stay with another, so she has to have to settle in and needs a lot of love from the mother-in-law, who probably will find it a little odd to do that as she doesn't know the daughter-in-law very well. also most marriages in India are arranged, which makes the situation even worse with the dowry and things.

also the husband/son gets caught between the two as he has loyalty to both to his wife and mother.

its definitely not universal, but its hard for a girl to leave her whole family after marriage and almost completely forget about her real parents, who have brought her up.

fortunately not the whole world follows the arranged marriage stuff!! thank god for that!

just sit back and think about it. put yourself in the situation of the girl and the mother, and then ask yourself the question again, I'm sure you will find some kind of answer.

Answer 4

The fact in your question can not be universally true. Recently I saw a photo of a few tiger cubs playing with a few baby hares. The report stated that not a single hare was hurt. If that is true in the animal kingdom then there obviously must be lots of mothers-in-law who live amicably with their daughters-in-law.
However, it is not uncommon to see clashes between the two either. Women in India are traditionally consigned to look after the household by staying indoors. So she assumes charge of everything that relates to the household e.g. cooking, washing and cleaning, looking after husband, children and elders etc. With the arrival of the daughter-in-law, a part of the mother-in-law's authority shifts to her. Her husband (son of the mother-in-law) entrusts her with more responsibilities. Few humans gladly part with authority and a mother-in-law is no exception. When she sees her turf eroding, she gets into clashes with her daughter-in-law in an effort to protect her authority till the last straw. And remember that a lot of people, women included, believe that two women can't be true friends.

Answer 5

It generally depends on the persons concerned. There are many daughters in law who are liked by their mothers in law and vice versa. But such cases are becoming rarer nowadays.
If they live togather under the same roof, there are chances of irritation to develop on both sides.
Difference in their age act as a communication gap between them and make misunderstandings to grow further.
What i also observed is that in recent days many girls are not keeping good relations with their own parents, leave alone their mothers in law.
Another glaring thing i noticed is that even in their teens many girls are being brought up with an anti mother in law mind set by their own mothers.
A lady judge who had considerable experience in family matters said some time ago that in many cases the friends and relatives of the girls are to be blamed, as they incite and feed the girl with anti MIL materials and make the strained relations much worse and irreconcilable.
Therefore some amount of give and take in their relations is necessary for a peaceful domestic life.
It is absolutely essential for the mother in law to place the daughter in law in the shoes of her own daughter and treat her accordingly and it is equally essential for the daughter in law to reciprocate the same.
If this is not followed in right earnest, it only makes their lives miserable and also the life of the man who gets caught between the two. Even the children are in danger of inheriting these quarrelsome behaviour.

Answer 6

In many cases the husband/son pit them against each other. Healthy headship promotes family - including extended.

In many cases DILs isolate and manipulate driving wedges between extended family.

In many cases DILs assume a man is to die to his family and become isolated to her and her extended family only.

Either way it's a marital problem especially in cases where family relationships existed prior to the couple getting married. Common sense tells us that a couple getting married should not start wars in other relationships.

"Why do they relish a fight between the son and his wife?" This is most likely an assumption...also very dramatic. Most parents get pretty tired of the negative drama and walk away because they're tired of watching the couple behave so immaturely.

Answer 7

I'm afraid most MIL or that way?
I don't know why, maybe they feel as if we are "taking over" or something.
Some can be very mean, but not all!
maybe it's hard for them (also not for all) to see there son loving someone else, they took care of him for so many years and then some one else does that
honestly, there is no excuse
they should be happy that their son has founds someone to love...

Answer 8

Not all MIL 's. % may be very low.

The thing theMIL not experienced you are experienceing in a +ve side make them feel that in their money you are enjoying it.

It is purely jealousy. This is the one thing common in whether lietrate or illiterate MIL's.

For this you should adopt tactics to overcome this. If your feel why tact then suffer. Everyday life we are tactful in one or other way think in that way you feel comfortable. There is no end to it. The problems' are some times unique to everyone. Probably one can do Phd in this area.

Answer 9

Mind if I'd correct you? Not every mother-in-law hates their daughter-in-law, but here is an answer to your question, Mother-In-Law's are jealous of you because you've got their son's attention, while some mother-in-laws think about other things, possibly like, financial status or about your attitude...Just be gentle and understand them...

Answer 10

Most MIL's feel threatened by their daughters-in-laws. They have the conception that the son's wife will be taking their sons away from them, and they won't be needing their mother anymore.

Yes, I think it's universal. All mothers are the same.

Answer 11

Unfortunately yes mother-in-laws has this mentality they are god gift to their sons and feel no other women can fit her shoes. What the forget is wives do not want to fit into their shoes. These mothers have not learned to let go of the apron. My advise to you is have a serious talk with your husband. I very firmly and clearly tell my husband "hold your mother tongue, attitude, etc" or the next time your see your mother is in a grave or us in divorce court take your pick. It has been working fine in my marriage, my mother has learned to shut up or be shut up.