Why do you have this stereotype of muslim women?

Question

I've noticed a lot of times when I say I just married and I have two kids, people find it hard to believe that I already have kids. Do people think that muslim women are not allowed to divorce or something? Well, we have that right, and I am one of many women that have used it. One of my close friend in Bosnia also used her right and divorced the father of her child. Do you really find it hard to believe? Islam grants women the right to divorce their husbands even if they just get tired of him, but that was not my reason. We also have the right to first custody of the children, and their father is fourth in line after the maternal blood line has been exhausted. I know it doesn't happen culturally, but as I see it, screw culture. We have the right to remarry as we see fit.

Why do some find it so hard to believe that a muslim woman can remarry while keeping her kids from her previous marriage?

Answer 1

I divorced my husband and got custody of all 5 kids....if you are determined you can get your rights no matter what country or culture you come from...many muslim women are in countries which men rule and God is nowhere to be found...they are the ones that need their rights from God established and given freely. sadly, thats rarely the case.

Answer 2

I will agree this is a misconception about Islam. Some cultures do frown on it. Culture and religion are different. Islam does not say it is a sin to divorce, if one divorces they should have tried by all measures to make it work if not then they divorce. I live in a Islamic country, there is divorce here. However, it is not as high as in the USA. Sometimes families put pressure on people from divorcing. A lot of Muslims have married cousins and this really makes it hard on the families when someone divorces. If a woman remarries to a nonmulsim then the children by Islamic law should be with the father.

Answer 3

I'm sorry but I don't quite agree with what u said there about getting divorced 'even if they get tired of him'. Islam has permitted divorce reluctantly, neither liking nor recommending it. Divorce is extremely undesirable in the eyes of God.
This obviously implies that a man and a woman should resort to divorce only under extremely grave and pressing circumstances. Divorce should, therefore, be resorted to only after all possible measures of avoiding it have failed and any one or both of the concerned parties is of the opinion that he/she cannot live a good, peaceful and pious life with the other.

Of all things which have been permitted, divorce is the most hated by Allah and a man who divorces his wife without a legitimate, genuine cause will be deprived of the fragrance of Paradise (Dawud, Tirmidhi)
It is the only Halal (Lawful) act that is disliked by Allah and His last Rasul (Messenger) Muhammad (PBUH)

Islam encourages reunion of the two disputing parties and considers it meritorious to cancel divorce during the reconciliation time. From the given procedure, it is clear that Islam permits divorce only when it has become impossible for the parties to live together in harmony and also all attempts to make peace have failed. If both parties are willing to live together happily, in spite of the defects or drawbacks in the other, no power on earth can impose a divorce.

Answer 4

I'm not sure about born Muslim divorcees. In my country, if a Muslim convert divorces his/her Muslim spouse and abandons Islam, he/she would lose the custody of his/her children.

Sometimes people don't or don't want to understand Islam or Muslims because the religion has been negatively portrayed by the media. In my opinion, it's not a religion for anyone as it requires a lot of discipline, obedience, submission and deeper understanding as to why some rules are different for men and women (e.g. polygamy is allowed while polygyny is not). Islam itself is not bad, it's just some individuals who tarnish the image of the religion and its followers.

Answer 5

People in this category is quite emotional huh...heavy stuff..

Its just people that don't know much about Islam that will react that way.

For Mr Ali;It is true in Islam a marriage can be resulted in annulment if the husband were not able to fulfill his duties.
Eg.not able to provide nafkah ( Be it monetary or sexually).etc.

users.iafrica.com/n/ns/nsalie/lessons.htm

Btw congratulation on your new marriage and hope you'll find happiness. :)

Answer 6

1. We have plenty of life-stories which report that women got stolen of their children, if they do not loose them by "agreement";

2. If you belong to a sort of "upper class", you are lucky and you can apply the original teachings of Islam.

3. There are women which belong to "lower classes" which, actually, cannot ask for their Rights to be respected.

Peace and Happiness.

Answer 7

Are you assuming this stereotyping towards muslim women yourself?

Maybe you're just too sensitive. Hmm... Maybe they find it hard to believe because you look young and beautiful; well maintained for a mother?

Btw, I never thought of it this way before. (As in, the stereotype towards muslim women you've mentioned)

Calm down. You seemed furious.

Answer 8

You may find that the step isn't as accommodating as is sworn beforehand. This can be a real issue in remarriages.

I guess this is true most anywhere. Just not the swearing part.

Yes, the Bosnians are more accommodating to their women.

Answer 9

I've never been under the impression that muslim women lost their children when they divorced their husband.

Answer 10

Islam is the only religion that allows women to get a divorce and acknowledge a woman's physical needs. No other religion does so.