Christians, atheists or anyone else help me out here?

Question

I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.
When I'm amongst Christians I can be ridiculed for being sullen, aloof, or unfaithful. I'm not necessarily the 'rock' that I used to be.
Things have happened and I've lost faith in things (probably since I had faith and 95% of everything that meant something to me is gone). When I try to point out the harmful actions of some of my Christian friends I face ridicule. The problems aren't small either, yet of course I get that response 'don't judge or be judged' etc. I mean if you are destroying yourself with hard drugs, or robbing old women you aren't the 'model Christian'. Am I not allowed to have a problem with that? Yet, I tend to face crticism for everything I do. So, there is tension there. When I'm with non-christians it isn't any better, they just live in the moment, only care about money, and are too shallow to find any real meaning in life. I'm stuck again. I can't get myself out of this... it keeps happening.

I'm 21 years old

Answer 1

If these are the type of people you are with then I will tell you, you are NOT with any Christians. You see that is what happenes when a lie is taught in many of the Church buildings. *Once saved always save*
people are taught that when you are saved nothing can take you from the hand of God, and that is true, nothing and no one can "take" you from His hand. BUT! You can choose to leave that hand of protection thus leaving the "truth", thus leaving the "word", thus Leaving your "salvation".
The friends you are talking about may have at one time been Christian, but they are not any longer.
If you are a Christian Why do you hang around with people like that?
You are at least a simi adult. Don't you know when it is time to find NEW friends and get away from the demons Satan has set before you?
You need to kneel and pray from strangth and then walk away from that situation.

We are praying for you

Answer 2

Look your friends are immature and haven't faced a lot of problems so they have a hard time empathizing with you. You might want to talk over some of the problems with someone who has matured more and been through some of life problems. This isn't to criticize your friends a good part of the problem is their age. There also may be a question of timing. Maybe you are choosing the wrong time to bring these things up. There is a book called God will make away that I found helpful when I was going through some problems. It is by Dr Henry Cloud. On the positive side once you have made it through this you can be there for others who will go through some of the same things you are going through.

Answer 3

I had the same problem. When I questioned someones actions, I got the no-judging spiel. When I had legitimate faith questions, I got sent to the pastor's office and told not to intimidate the bible study leader, or the Sunday school teacher would throw the study book at me.

It's a hard thing to deal with, I know. But you know, I found an answer to all the questions I had, and I found a place where I belonged.

It might be time for you to investigate with an open mind the teachings of Islam. Many here will tell you it is a brutal religion, full of killings. But in reality, it is all about submitting yourself to the will of GOD/Allah. I challenge you to do your own investigation. Maybe GOD is trying to show you something wonderful that you won't find in Christianity.

You might want to start here. It is very informative.

http://godallah.com/

Answer 4

You have outgrown your surroundings, environs, and the associations with which you have grown familiar and comfortable and perhaps taken for granted was yours and for which you thought there could be no other turn different.

So -- You might be right, you might be wrong. So what!

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson...

Aaahhh, now...welcome to your next stage of the journey -- you are no less or more than a human being... That's all.

Fear not. Lick your wounds, don your flak vest, canteen belt, and your inner weapon. You are now promoted to the rank of the combatant.

I know, I know, 'gets lonely out there, ay?

You have lost nothing, much less your faith. Yours is now but a test to how much faith you did earn before and now merit.

So now it's time to take the exam, say... That's all.

The great jazz pianist, Willie "the lion" Smith once said, "You wanna know how good a man is, you test him."

So it is with you.

Only that the usual has become displaced to make room for still something new again, something with which you are not familiar.

And that, sire, is the true meaning of adventure, see?

Take note here: no matter if your detractors should number in the millions, know that any man more right than his neighbors constitutes the majority...

This impasse you feel on the Outer, is but an indication of the expansion occurrring well Within... Expansion loves its balances. And to Expansion, to have its balances is equivalent to it enjoying a good meal.

Why should you be any less the medium, any less qualified for this great change that Truth wishes you to undertake?

What can you say, It has chosen you...

'Stark, isn't it? You'll be okay -- not to worry.

Do not be miffed by what transpires around you.

One has to grow conditioned to striking out alone; you must gain comfort with yourself, of being alone -- that is the way of a warrior; that is the way of one who chooses or is remanded to face his lower nature. This venture usually consists of aloneness in some measure. 'Differs for each person; extreme for some, really extreme...

This all is Life's way of providing you a measure of where you are and where your detractors are, without which you would be truly without a center.

You are hereby given a gift, and you must realize that this is just what it is...

Not all are afforded this. And to avert you from even greater hurt, it comes camouflaged to give others the impression that you are well off compass.

But this is the tactics of Truth -- working in your favor -- in that it will often come guised so as not to draw upon you undue attacks and attentions -- eventhough you might feel rendered a pariah right now, really off side.

Know that this is present to protect you so that you can learn by allowing them to feel superior to you. Through this decoy, you are allowed to move with considerable dispatch and space and freedom, and with far less obstruction than you could believe and otherwise have: if they were all in your favor, you would not enjoy the needed industry to expand.

See?

You are very fortunate, sire...

Simply step away now and you will see: it is all in the perspective.

You can always come back to visit your familiars later -- they will be there.

You will get some things returned to you, but this time only with those things that can be salvaged to help you even farther along your path -- the path less traveled.

You are doing well... Keep going...

Answer 5

Do not Follow other people but follow the path that you choose. If you choose the path of pleasure than be in the pleasure world. But if I were you, I would choose the path of love and faithfulness. All because of the thing that you put 95% faith in it, it doesn't mean that you can't still have faith on your own will. Well anyways, do you want to walk to the wicked or sit in the seat of mockers? Even though some christians are stuck up, they care about you and love you. Even though you are ridiculed for being sullen, aloof, or unfaithful, they are saying it for your own sake. They want you to be a good man and spread God's word. Some Christians like me want you to be a good man and want you to learn from your mistakes. They want tohelp you become a God's messenger. Like the heroes in the bible they were teased and was called names from the people that were unchristians. Sometimes, God and Jesus scolded at them and they learn from their mistakes because they knew god and jesus loved them and thats why scolded at them so they could learn from their mistaked and be a good man and have a pleasure life in heaven. I hope this helps!

Answer 6

I am a christian but ive given up looking for a good church cause ive come to the conclusion that most christians are wack jobs, they speak impractical non sense & do not look at things from reality. I think very negatively about christian people from experience, just my opinion. One thing i can say is that christian or satanist, it doesnt matter, if someone is ridiculing you when they have no business doing so...they are not acting like a friend at all & they have something to learn about how to treat people. I know how cheesy it sounds but it is so so true...you need to find yourself & be true to yourself & then what all these others are saying to you or about you or doing themselves wont matter to you, cause you will just be living your life & thats all you can be responsible for. Truthfully I think its a waste of time to talk to christians about life cause most do not have a clue & they are just repeating some other nonsense they heard from another christian who doesnt have a clue. But here is my philosophy that I came up with when i did struggle with anxiety over what the bible says & the preacher said & this, that & the other. Its very simple, just do the right thing & you cannot go wrong. & if someone ridicules you or calls you selfish for kicking back having a beer, watching tv, being with a girl or anything ridiculous, then take that as a sign of someone that you do not want to be associated with because you obviously dont like it & move on.

Answer 7

You feel let down because you have put your trust and faith in the followers of your faith. They are no better than you, they are not the ones you should be looking up to. As a Christian, you should be leaning on the everlasting arms of the one who loves you without end, who cares for you as you are. The one who has said he will never leave you or forsake you. Trust in the lord with all your heart all your soul and lean not on your own understanding, and he will make your pathways straight. People will ALWAYS fail you, God will not, ever.,

Answer 8

It seems to me you are not with a serious group of "Christians". Some people think that they can be considered Christians just because they are American, or go to church or youth group or because their parents are called that. When the Bible speaks of not judging others, it is speaking of not judging their heart or their motives or whether or not they are "saved". We are absolutely supposed to judge between right and wrong behavior. The fruit of the tree shows you whether the tree is good or bad. And, it seems to me, these so-called "Christian" friends are bad trees. Find some friends act like who they say they are and stand your ground. You should be commended for your insight and wisdom at your age. As for hanging out with non-believers, you probably shouldn't be doing that so much. Most of the time, bad fruit contributes to the rotting of good fruit, not the other way around. Keep looking for people who can be examples and can uphold you in your time of need. Read the psalms for encouragement from the Father. Pray for wisdom and for right minded friends. Be blessed!!

Answer 9

The friends you seem to surround yourself with don't share much, if any, of your philosophical view, to find meaning in life. Your Christian friends seem to just wear their Christianity like jewelry while your other friends are self-destructive hedonists.

How do people find meaning in their lives? By being skillful and virtuous. No, I didn't just 'slip' in virtue, if you actually are virtuous, you feel better about yourself and others. Instead of fault finding and being angry/selfish, you spend time being selfless which gives you real lasting happiness. We are hardwired for altruism, after all.

Think about it, how often have you let an angry thought run in your head around and around and around? It doesn't do anything but piss you off more, making you less content. Learn to let things go once they have already happened (you can't change the past).

Time spent helping others, and helping a group you are apart of, is real time spent being happy if you do it out of true compassion. If you really want to help from the bottom of your heart you feel GOOD for it. That is why being virtuous can make you happy and give purpose.

Everything is impermanent. Given enough time everything will crumble to dust. If you understand that, you will be able to let things go when they are part their due.

You want purpose and meaning? You gotta work to find it, and you gotta know yourself to know why you are trying to find it and where to look. On top of getting some new friends, I would suggest taking up meditation. It feels really good, your memory improves, and you build brain mass. Good luck!

Answer 10

If you are hanging out with "Christians" who ridicule you for making unwise decisions, then in my opinion they are NOT very good Christians! A good Christian, nay a good friend, Christian or not, would be supportive of the good decisions you make in life and give you advice and be there for you when you fall after making the wrong choices. As far as pointing out their mistakes, I wouldn't. Be a friend to them as an example of how you want them to be your friends. Don't be friends with fools who rob old women or do hard drugs. They aren't positive influences on your life and will only drag you down with them.

It is as possible for a person to have a really good heart and not be a Christian as it is for a person in the upper echelons of a Christian Church to be cruel, deceitful, hateful, nasty, perverted, etc.

My best advise is to surround yourself with everyone you know who is kind and every new person you meet who is kind. People you know who are uncontrollable critics don't need to have a place in your inner circle and it is okay for you to tell them why you haven't been hanging out with them anymore. People you meet who are gossips, have negative attitudes, or break the Golden Rule may benefit from the example you set of how a Christian should treat others. If not, move on to the next group. Don't give up though. Eventually you will find a group of friends who thinks like you do and are supportive and helpful to you, and the ones in your life now who refuse to grow and become better people will become a part of your past - the part of your past that taught you what kind of people you didn't need as friends.

Good luck and have faith in yourself.