I was at a restaurant and a guy started screaming at the shift supervisor -- a girl about 25. He wanted breakfast but they had stopped serving that and were serving lunch. He yelled and yelled -- she kept apologizing and trying to reason with the guy but he wouldn't listen to reason. She tried to walk away but he followed her. The girl obviously needed help... All the men in the place kept their heads down and concentrated on their food. Finally I'd had enough and I stood up and told the guy to leave her alone. Then several other WOMEN stood up and said the same thing. Confronted with so many, the guy left.
The men never did ANYTHING. I dunno, maybe if the guy had been confronted by another man he would have gotten more violent, maybe it was best this way ... but I was pretty disgusted with the men, just the same!
SHOULDN'T a guy have stood up to help this poor girl?
2007-06-10 18:35:25 · 17 answers · asked by luvrats 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No.
Someone should have, and someone did. I'm glad you were kind enough to help her. However, you shouldn't think that this is a "mans" job. I don't think it matters if it was a man or a woman.
I think it would be best if we all rid ourselves of gender stereotypes. It's more about individual personality.
2007-06-10 18:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men have this weird code about looking the other way and not deliberately making another guy look week. I know exactly what you mean though.
I was at a party the other night with my boyfriend and another couple we were friends with. The average age of the party was probably about 40 years old, so it wasn't a bunch of kids or anything. Anyway, The husband of my friend was being kind of flirtatious with this drunk bimbo and his wife pulled him aside. He was really drunk and snapped at her. Told her that if she ever grabbed him like that again he would beat the sh** out of her. I jumped up immediately and started to tell him off, but of the ten or so other men on the patio, my boyfriend was the only one who stood up to him, everyone else just wanted to look the other way and wait for it to be over. I hate to say it but I don't think my boyfriend would even have gotten involved if I hadn't gotten myself in over my head and he felt the need to protect me from this guy.
To answer your question, men might be braver, but I've yet to see it when it comes to standing up to another man in a situation that does not involve him directly. And Yes, a real man would have intervened and not left it to the ladies.
2007-06-11 01:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by sage 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, men are not more brave than women. No, a man should not have helped her. You are quite right when you guessed that the man would have just become more violent if confronted by another man. You did exactly the right thing. Sisters must stand up for one another. We should not depend on men to fight our battles for us. All men are not he-men or born fighters. My guy is an absolute coward. So What?! I live in a society of laws and mores. Besides, I am quite capable of handling any bullies or anyone who would attempt to assault me or him. Take self defense classes. Sometimes we just have to stand up for ourselves and others.
2007-06-11 01:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men will wait until violence is eminent to react and then they react very violently. Men know to stay calm or the problem will escolate. We also know that a man will typically not hit a woman but he will hit another man.
Sounds like the situation was handles right by everyone.
Believe me that the men in the room were on the tips of their toes ready to defend or attack if warrented.
2007-06-11 01:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men should have come forward for the rescue. At times men also don't tend to come forward thinking that they may get alone in the incident and may not handle well if it goes too far seeing that the offender is too tough for them. But women can play an intelligent role that triggers men to be bold so that they can face any situation.
2007-06-11 03:05:59 · answer #5 · answered by nimesh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well in this situation, all the other men were patrons. They might have believed it was not their place to butt into the affairs of the restuarant manager and another patron.
It does not sound like this girl needed help. I mean, the man did follow her, but he did not touch her. In addition, if the manager felt threatened all she would have to do was call the police. The man would be escorted out of the restuarant.
2007-06-11 01:42:17 · answer #6 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in my group have commented a lot in the past few years that men are not men in the respect of taking up for their wives and children.
My favorite story of my daddy is the day when I was 5 yrs. old and some pervert tried to get my panties off. My mom rushed me home and told my daddy, and he went and picked up the man in the alley he had run down, and my daddy beat the sh#t out of that guy.
I always felt so protected by him. And yes, it has been hard to find men who live up to that example. But there are guys out there who live to see their families safe and protected and to do what is right and good. Girls, Hold out for one of them! Life is not worth the other kind.
2007-06-11 01:46:46 · answer #7 · answered by brensbren 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know I would have.
I was at a Mcdonalds and the woman in line ahead of me was black. When it was her turn to order the man behind the counter said it was his break and closed the line. When the woman walked out disgusted after waiting so long only to be turned away he re-opened the line. No one even blinked, so i stepped up and ripped him over the counter and gave him the what for. Got 8 months probation for assult but it was so worth it.
2007-06-11 01:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely, however, men only seem to get involved in "violent" arguments. Women seem to identify more with the hurt, and disrespect of yelling and name calling. Most people dont care much for others now a days...good for you lady. Its nice to know some people still care.
2007-06-11 01:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by ehren h 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some one - anyone - everyone should have stood up for the person being abused. Maybe even her boss or a colleague. We all have the chance to be brave every day and that was your day.
2007-06-11 05:09:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋