Maid of honor??

Question

ok so my only sister is getting married in April of 2008 and I am in the wedding with two of her other friends. We went to try on dresses and the woman asked us who the maid of honor was and we didnt know. We werent sure if it was going to be me or her friend. so i tried to talk to my mom about it and she told me it was a big responsibility. I am only almost 16 so I will not be able to plan the bachalorette party but I can plan a lot of the other stuff with the possible help of the other bridesmaids. So If you were my sister who would you choose your only sister who is 16 or your friend??

It doesnt matter if I cant sign the marriage certificate. i can plan the bridal shower. My mom with help me a lot and the bridesmaids can do the bachalorette party. It just makes me so upset

Sorry "mithril" but you are wrong in Iowa you need a "Witness" over 18. I have been to a signing before with my mom and I have seen one and it says "Witness"

http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/iowa/index.shtml

Ok so we cant have both of us because there are only three of us and that leaves the other girl as just a "bridesmaid"

Answer 1

I would choose my sister. One of her friends could always lend helping hands. I don't think it is necessarily about the responsibility here. For me, a sister is a sister. Point blank.

Answer 2

Yes, if you were my sister and only 16, I would choose you as the maid of honor! Blood is thick, and you will always be a sister, not just a friend. If my 9 year old niece would have been able to attend my wedding(it was in Vegas and too expensive to travel) I would have had her be a maid of honor.
Keep in mind that your sister does not have to have just one maid of honor. I had 4 bridesmaids, and the single girlfriend was the maid, and my sister was the matron, but I ended up naming all of the married women matrons so that I would not offend anyone-plus, they all equally helped with the wedding events, so I bestowed a title higher.
Talk with your sister,and tell her you can help with everything that does not require you going into a bar, but do not be offended if she chooses someone else. Remember, this is her day, and do not hold a grudge with the decisions she makes-plus, think about how you will feel when you get married-then you get to control everything and make a better day!

Answer 3

I've seen this go both ways. I have two sisters and a friend that's like a sister. I plan on a small wedding with no attendants mainly because I could never choose!

Your best bet is to sit down with your sister and ask. Start by telling her how excited you are to be in the wedding. Explain you understand the age complications. Then ask what she wants you to do. Offer to plan the bridal shower no matter what. If you want to do a toast at the reception, tell her. Just dont make her feel like she's slighting you or like she's put on the spot. It's her day, tell her you want to know your responsiblities to make it more special for her!

Answer 4

You don't need both. You don't technically even need one, but generally there is only one. You can have 2 though if you want. I was in 3 weddings this year (including my own!). One had no maid of honor or matron of honor, just 3 bridesmaids. I had a maid of honor and 5 bridesmaids. My best friend had me as her matron of honor and 3 bridesmaids. You can do it however you want :)

Answer 5

I'm getting married in September and I only have one younger sister (age 22). I chose to have my closest female friend be my MOH and asked my sister to be a bridesmaid. My sister has never been in a wedding, lives out of state, and is far too busy to handle the responsbility of planning a shower, planning a bachelorette party, and making sure the bridesmaids order their dresses and all accessories (just a short list of her duties). My sister was actually relieved that she was not my MOH. It gave her the opportunity to do things she preferred such as making my toss bouquet and helping with the shower and bachelorette party without having to handle being in charge of it all. Don't take it as an insult if you sister chooses to include you in a different way. Just being her sister and being happy for her as she plans this big day is exactly what she needs!

Answer 6

Personally, I would choose my friend over my 16 year old sister. Being a maid of honor is a large financial commitment because of the bridal shower and the bachelorette party. Because you are 16, you would not be able to fund these parties yourself; you'd have to ask your parents. You also wouldn't even be able to attend the bachelorette party, so you would be unable to fulfill some of the duties of being a maid of honor. You also would not be able to sign as a witness, which really is the most important duty of the maid of honor.

Remember that a person isn't chosen to be maid of honor because she's the bride's "favorite." She's chosen because she will be the best woman for the job. Because you aren't able to fulfill all of the duties of being a maid of honor, and therefore can't do the job, and because you can't afford to be the maid of honor, I think the friend should be the maid of honor.

Answer 7

she prob hasn't decided yet.. as long as you realise if you aren't picked it isn't because of any other reason than the fact that the other girl will be able to help her plan more.. unfortunalely for you this means doing hens night things..

why don't you talk to your sister.. or even better, take some initiative to show her how good you would be as a moh if you really want this.
for instance, make some calls reguarding thigns she may need. eg wedding reception places, get a few quotes for her.. buy her a bridal magazine and show her some dresses you think she would look beaufiul in.., do some internet research on hair styles, make-up ideas, cake styles..

on the other hand though, she may not even choose a moh, because she doesn't want to offend anyone.. which appears to be exacrly what happens on here a lot.. lots ofppl get upset when their siblings don't even consider them as bridesmaids

Answer 8

Oh, sweetie, yes, it matters if you can witness the certificate. It defines the term "Maid of Honour". It sucks, but it's a fact.

It doesn't mean your sister loves you any less.

It's okay to be bummed, but realize your sis has very little choice in this matter. There's nothing she can do, outside of waiting two or three years for her wedding. And that wouldn't be fair to her or her fiance now, would it?

I hope you can still have fun with it. As a bridesmaid, you still get to help with and go to the showers, engagement party and rehearsal dinner. The best thing you can do is accept this without fuss and make this wedding her dream day.

Answer 9

When I got married, my sisters (3 of them) were all younger as well, and my best friend was my maid of honor. So I would probably go with my friend, since she's going to be able to legally perform some of the duties of a maid of honor. Legally, you cannot even sign the marriage certificate, and that's generally reserved for the best man and maid of honor. It will also be difficult for you to plan a bachelorette party, as well as a bridal shower, simply because of your age. Don't worry, I'm sure your sister loves you very much. I wouldn't let a little thing like who is the maid of honor get to you much here, I really wouldn't. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

I'd probably pick my sister,and ask my friends to help out with all the planning.sometimes the maid of Honor is symbolic and the the bridesmaids do the work.

Answer 11

Your sister will choose who she wants. It's not uncommon that it be a close friend, instead of a sister - and you should not be upset with that at all. The age thing also comes into play, as the Maid of Honour usually witnesses the documents.