How can I get my 17 month old son to play with other toddlers?

Question

Earlier this morning, we went to a bbq at a friend's house and it was also the first time our 17 mo old son was exposed to other toddlers, some younger, some older, some the same age. While mingling with other people and talking, I was keeping an eye on him and also noticed he wouldn't play with them, he would distance himself and sit on the grass and play all by himself. Are my wife and I overreacting? We thought maybe bringing him out more amongst other kids could help....
We're not an antisocial family, we're just too busy for get-togethers.

it saddened me a little to see the other kids laugh and run around, and he was the only one all by himself playing in the grass.

emo? naaaaa, he'll never become one of those freaks.

Thanks guys, these are all good answers...it's nice to get advice from other parents who have experience.

Answer 1

At this age toddlers do "parallel play" - meaning that they may not interact with each other, but will play independently near each other - it is perfectly normal developmentally.
It is also possible that your son is shy.
You can try to find a playgroup near you. Or just take him to the playground once a week.

Answer 2

At 17 months they do need to be around other children but they don't necessarily play with them. Unless they are playing ball or some other large muscle group activity they tend to play by themselves.

You will see around 2 1/2 all of a sudden they will play together or try to because they are not always ready at the same time.

Answer 3

Is he an only child?...I wasnt always real strong socially & I was self conscious about it, but with time I learned how to be myself & feel comfortable around people. One thing I wanted to say to you that I learned is this...& maybe you dont realize it cause youve never known anything other than a anxiety free, somewhat successful social life (you did say your not antisocial, so just maybe) but social skills are like anything else they need to be practiced and if your kid isnt around other kids that often & he is an only child then it seems very normal that he may not have learned how to be social with other kids yet. Speaking from experience, if you want your kid to enjoy his life & have success in different aspects of it, get him around other kids, slip one more by the goalie & communicate with him. GL.

Answer 4

at that age my son never played with other kids his age. a good friend of mine has a boy who is 3 years older than my son who is like his best buddy. at that age they don't really get why they should share its all about them. an older kid will play with them like an adult would entertaining them and showing them how to d stuff. it was really fun bc around that time we had my cousins little girl who is 2 days older than my son staying with us for about a month. every day was war at my house they fought constantly. now they ask about each other and he plays very well with kids his own age they are 2 now. m sure it is just the age. or he may be shy just give him time try putting him in some kind of class or try preschool.

Answer 5

I think it is normal for a first child of that age to want to play by himself or have the adults relate to him. He probably was was more aware of the other little ones than you realize. He wants to keep his distance and
get an idea of what the others are about.
It's good you don't push him into social activities he's not ready for.

Answer 6

I have 3 children. My oldest 4 will play or talk to anoyone of anything. My 2 year old is afraid of his own shadow and relative he knows when they all get togther at his grnadmother's house are too many and intimidate him so if they are upstairs he is down stairs or vice versa for a while then before you know it he takes off his diaper while trying to potty train himself and is leading a bunch of wacky toddlers in a running line.

Let him be him. He will flourish when he is ready

Answer 7

He is fine. Most kids his age don't really play with other children as much as they play around with other children. Let him develop at his own pace but make sure to provide ample opportunities for him to be around other children his age. he will warm up and start to play "with " them. If he is an only child this is way more important so that he can adjust to and learn to interact with his peer group and not just adults that care for him. I know you are busy but this is important for your child Find sometime it need not be a lot at this point but it should happen on a fairly regular basis.

Answer 8

this is his first time . So , he is shy and not ready to play with others .. After fews times gathering mayb he will be okay. But , nxt time dont just let him there himself.. U should introduce him to the others kids and play together .. When he is happy and playing with them then only u go.. My husband and i always had to do that when we bring our 2years old daughter to a new place.

Go to nursery will help them more easy to join other kids .

Good Luck.. * ( Toddler do not know how to express their emotion )

Answer 9

may be he's just not ready to play with other kids at 17 months their is a lot of parallel play but not a lot of actually playing with other kids for the most part. he'll probably become more social with age

Answer 10

between the ages of one and two kids sometimes do not play with other children and are quite happy to sit back and watch other children playing, or be near other children and do their own thing...

its called co-playing and its perfectly normal at his age...

if you do want him to play with other children then i suggest that you make a time for him to be around just a few kids (one or two is enough) more often so that he can learn how to play with other children...

dont be worried at all, i taught daycare for one to two year olds and it was quite common for kids to sit back to back and play seperate games...its all part of growing up...