Why do Moms reject one member of the playgroup?

Question

I learned recently the other moms in my daughter's ballet class have been gossiping about me and critiquing my parenting skills when we are not there. Why is this necessary? Does it favor the bully genetically, benefitting the gene pool?

Answer 1

My experience is that there's always at least one in every group, whether it is dance, brownies, PTA, whatever... and all it takes is for that one person to have a captive audience, and they're off and running. Perhaps she hasn't mentally left high school behind?

My guess is that these are women who have low self-esteems and in order to feel better about themselves have to gossip and belittle others. She's the center of attention for at least the time that she spends gossiping. I would like to think that her audience is just politely listening because they don't know how to say "I don't want to hear it".

Answer 2

I know the type. Being critical of another makes them feel better about themselves. "Oh, I'm a good parent, because I don't..."

This is an opportunity to show your daughter how to hold your head up high, ignore those who have nothing better to do than gossip, and overcome pettiness. Seriously, you can use this to be such a good role model! And the other moms are just teaching their daughters that self-esteem comes from belittling others... who is the bad parent now?

Answer 3

Its just women showing their poor self-images. In order to feel better about themselves, women in groups single out someone to gossip about. Just ignore them and relish in the fact that your kids will be better off by not having a gossiping mom as an example to learn from.

Answer 4

It's disgusting but it happens in all levels of kids sports, recreation, and playgroups. Stay at home moms have to live through the lives of their little ones . just as sure as they were the "popular" girls in high school who banded together to talk about how much better they were than everyone else they do it as mothers now to. Chances are you hardly ever see the husbands at these events and that's because they are sick of their wives and hopefully out cheating. So just laugh at them and picture their hubbies off with a skinnier woman.

Answer 5

sad, isn't it? what grown women will do? get used to it now, honey. it ain't changin any time soon. lol. and yes, i think it does favor the bully genetically. just encourage your daughter to be herself by your own example. don't let those ladies with no lives make you miserable. don't waste another moment of worry on them. good luck and God bless :)

Answer 6

Hehe I breastfeed past one year, I don't vax, I never use babyfood, I cosleep. I'm always the freak parent. So I don't what it's like to be in the bully crowd.

Even when I join online groups of extended breastfeeding non-vaxing moms I'm the freak mom because I eat meat, I'm not pagan, etc *lol*

As long as they are treating you ok to your face I would just ignore it.

Answer 7

small minded insecure people talk about other people. secure intelligent people talk about ideas. I wouldn't want them as friends that's for sure.
Two choices ignore it or confront it. Decide and let it go.
Sad and uncomfortable good luck!

Answer 8

They are probably just jealous of you. You could embarrass them and say, "I am so flattered that you think so much of me to talk about me. Wow, I must REALLY be interesting." Then turn your back on them and walk away.

Answer 9

Busy body's!!!! Thye must have control over all & everything! Even if it's none of there business.