Family talking about me behind my back?

Question

Here's the story, i got a job, after 9 months, i quit because i joined a program at a local college, so i couldn't work, then go to regular school,. then go to college program. So I quit. A year later, the program ended, and i didn't go back to work. My mom ask me not to go back to work so i can help take my brother to his music classes and help her with driving because she going through menopause, and she can't drive because she gets really nervous and scared. So my 2 aunts, are always talking behind my back. Saying i'm lazy for not getting a job. They always ask if something wrong with me, like if i'm sick or something. I hate when they ask for help, and me being stupid, i go help. But you know wants funny, one of my aunts husband doesn't work or even supports her. Instead, my aunt supports her husband and kids. She like the man/wife of the house. Then my other aunt, her daughter is 26 yrs old, and she has a "job" that let's her go whenever she wants to go. What should i do?

and i'm afraid to talk about to my aunts because i don't my cousin hating me for talking stuff to their mother.

i mean talking back to my aunts

Answer 1

family sucks most of the time! i would just tell them all to mind their own business and tell mom to get a taxi and i would get on with my own life and stop letting everyone else USE you and hold you back from having and living your own life.

Answer 2

All family's talk behind someone's back.That does'nt make it right,it's just how it is.How-ever,they do this and treat you the way they do because they are not happy with themselves.It's not you,it's them.People will treat you the way you allow them to.If you are afraid to speak up,then don't.When they ask you those stupid question's,just don't answer.Instead change the subject.The more you ignore them,the less they will continue to try to intimidate you.Be proud for helping your mother,there is nothing wrong with YOU,it;s them.If you can get the nerve,when they ask you stupid questions you can say,"I'm sorry,why do you need to know that?They won't have an answer.If they do answer,tell them why you are helping your mother.But,the more you ignore them,the less they will treat you that way.When they call for help,tell them you would love to be able to help,but right now you are tied up doing something for your mother.Don't give them power over you.You owe them nothing.No favors,no help and definately no answers about what you do wiyh your life.If you can't say no when they call,have a piece of paper with you and read it over the phone.Example-I wish I could help,but I have other things I have to do today,maybe another time.They will soon get the idea and you were polite.Who could criticize you for being polite?Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I had the exact same problem. My mother's side of the family was a bunch of teetotalling holy rollers, my maternal grandmother especially. She would entirely devalue someone if they drank, smoked, swore, or played cards. She didn't believe in keeping secrets. As soon as she found out private information, she would very stupidly without permission get on the phone and tell every last family member. In hindsight, I could have had her arrested a couple of times. They consider me inferior because I'm not married with children. I'm very ashamed to admit this, but I'll share it with you: my mother's family are as dumb as coal buckets. They have an unbelievably mindless dichotomic perception of the world -- like "what's right is right, and what's bad is wrong, so people shouldn't do what's bad because that's wrong." A chimpanzee is capable of more meaningful thoughts! As an adult, I want to shame them by being successful. But if I could go back to when I was dependent on my family, I would have just sat back, smiled, and been polite. I would also look forward to anyone even daring to interfere with my academic or professional goals.

Answer 4

If everything is cool between you and your mom and you're helping out at the house then you may be doing the best thing for your family right now. If your aunts have a problem with the way your mom is running her house, then they should speak to her about it. You may be a bigger help to her right now caring for your brother than you would be working, but you also have to consider what is best for you and your future. Maybe you should take some classes while you're helping out at home.

Answer 5

Get yourself a part time job, driving your brother to music class is a lame excuse for not at least having a part time job.
I think your mother wants you to be her buddy, but you should be out in the work force. Where is your life going?

Answer 6

man......there is going to be always someone, somehow, for some reason that back-bite somebody.......
better you then me....lol
seriously.....if you're happy with yourself...all is fine.
don't be bother with that crap....
you didn't say how old you are, but i would guess you're around 22 or 23......it's right to help your mother and your aunts, but to be the man you suppose to be....in the near future.get a job and support yourself.....you'll feel better I'm sure

Answer 7

Your education is important.People always want to gossip.Don't let it get to you.Helping mom out is the right thing to do.What you could do is get a parttime job to help with your college cost.Work during spring breaks.Sit down and talk to mom about how you will always be there if she needs you.And explain you may need to work parttime to help out with college expenses.

Answer 8

Unless a family member knows all the aspects of what's going on ( and noone outside the house does) they will always talk about you. The only thing I have figured out that works successfully is to ignore it and just feel good about yourself taking care of your family. Always remember you can't please everyone.

Answer 9

well everyone knows that we all have someone that likes to talk behind someones back, there call haters.. hey it helping you mom is going to make her fill better and if you financial life is stable be there help here, don't listen to what other people say, yes i know it can get to one but sometimes they can only see what others are doing and not whats happening in there own home.

Answer 10

I mean this in the kindest of ways: What people are saying about you is none of your business. It just makes you feel bad and produces hard feelings within the family. Do what you know is right for you and to heck with what they are saying.