What do you say to stop someone who's gone off the deep end?

Question

I just witnessed a person having a complete meltdown -- she was screaming and yelling at another person. (She felt she was being overcharged for a service.) This person finally calmly but firmly said "That's enough," which I thought was a good response, but it sent the screaming woman into an even bigger rage.

So if someone is having a total meltdown and screaming at you, what IS a good thing to say to quiet them down?

Answer 1

I usually call security and have them escorted out of the building. There is nothing that excuses that type of disrespectful behaviour, and I will not tolerate it.

Answer 2

From personal experience, I have found that any comment whatsoever feeds into the person's rage. Obviously they are, as you say, having a meltdown, and even a kind hearted comment can add fuel to the fire.

I have found it best to say nothing at all until they begin to wind down, perhaps just make little 'sympathy noises' and when they have calmed down, either let them slam out or ask them if they are OK and would like to sit down.

Of course after someone has torn strips off you, you generally don't feel much like being sympathetic, but I have had people come back to me later and apologise for their behaviour which was due to big problems in their lives.

I would seriously just stand thre and not look at them, or anyone else, just zone out and wait until it's over. People in that state are not always rational, either.

Of course, in some cases that is also the wrong thing to do ... it's very hard to say but that is what I have found has worked for me in the past.

Good luck in future :-)

Answer 3

Let them get it all out "VENT" (all the while look them in the eye and smile a little smile) and then say I do apologize for you feeling this way and I can understand that's very frustrating (even though it's not your fault) and then restate to them the problem they've described (in other words verify to them you listened by repeating it back short version) and smile a little smile and say "I'll be happy to help you!" while in your mind think like Brigit Fonda ("i never did mind the little things, i never did mind the little things, i never did mind the little things") get the boss, supervisor whoever if you feel you need back up to resolve the issue: because you have other people waiting to be helped. It's not your job to set prices.

There is a technique some people use, to get what they want: it's known: don't realize it's either the technique they are using on you : or they are just crazy but either way use the above script!

It works!

Answer 4

Tell them that obvioulsy they have had a bad day and apologize. You have no idea what went on that day her kid could have died or something. It is best said that one should not interfere with fight of two people so instead do the apologizing for the person that had the meltdown and say that your really doing your job well and give the person a really big smile or a really good tip if it happens to the waitress.

Answer 5

What a psycho. I hate people who feel the need to go off on people who have no control over such problems, get a life crabby folks! The way I used to handle people like that when worked retail was to stay calm, let them say (or scream) their bit, express that I too would be upset, however I am not the one who sets the price. Then if they became angrier I would offer to get a manager so they could speak to someone with more authority. Usually that shuts them up.

Answer 6

First try to make the person calm and quiet and tell the truth and if screaming and yelling goes on then just ignore.

Answer 7

The only thing I can think of is to try to -- quietly and calmly -- get her attention.

Touch her shoulder, and softly, slowly, and calmly suggest that she might want to calm down a little, or that it's not a big deal, or that this isn't the way to get the problem corrected.

Sorry, I don't really know what one should do in this situation.

The only thing would be to try to de-escalate things.

Maybe let her spew at you, without opposition, until she runs down.

Tomorrow, try asking this question again in the psychology category.

Or leave this questions up.

There's a psych expert in my Fan list who might have something helpful to say.

Answer 8

--BEING MILD ....in a difficult situation can bring benefits.

(Proverbs 15:1) “15 An answer, when mild, turns away rage, but a word causing pain makes anger to come up.”

--THIS IS ESPECIALLY so if the one giving the answer might apologize for a mistake or admit there was one made!--EVEN if it may have not been their fault directly!
--"I AM SORRY" for the mistake OR "Please accept our apology"--can bring about great results! --UNFORTUNATELY peoples pride cause continuous hurt when humility is not exercised!
--PLACATING someone insincerely might be seen through, and even cause greater anger.

Answer 9

I would say nothing. As you witnessed, it only enraged the screamer all the more. Sometimes just letting them go through their tirad and allowing them to calm down is the best thing to do.

Answer 10

yo ucan't say anything to calm down a loony tune but if you feel threatened at any point call the police and state to the person that you are going to call the police right now if they dont calm down, have the phone in hand, you could get lucky and call their bluff. always maintain a safe distance from the whacko though.