My mom just died.....?

Question

My mom just died from lung cancer and my dad is a heavy smoker and he drinks, he never has time for me. How can i deal with this?

Answer 1

Do you have family and/or friends that you can get support from>? If not, you should really see a counselor. At this critical time, it is significant that you get attention. Gosh, I am so sorry for your loss. Your dad is probably going through his own state of denial and mourning, but then again, I don't know him nor the exact situation. Look into some support groups (grief related).

I hope things get better and you can find the special people in your life to rely on and lift you up at this very trying time.

Answer 2

Jessica Dear, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom passing,it is a very sad time for you, it takes time to grieve at the loss of of your Mom, no matter what the cause of death. Accept it as it is, and I hope you have other relatives to share your grief with. Sadly there is nothing we can do for the ones addicted to Alcohol or Tobacco braking the addiction needs to be done by the addicted person. Often they are unable to follow through and give up the substance. Do not blame yourself in any way. and I pray that your grief and mourning will get easier by each passing day, and that God will bless you and your Dad with health and healing.

Answer 3

Oh you poor darling, I'm so sorry that you've lost your mum, you are having a really tough time aren't you.Do you have an Auntie or Grandma you could talk to, maybe your Dad is feeling as sad as you are maybe he doesn't know how to handle his grief and so doesn't know how to help you. Maybe a grief counsellor could help you both through your grief and to be able to talk to each other.If there is another problem with your dad it's not for you to handle at the moment, you need someone that's there just for you, someone who will help you to feel stronger and able to cope, and then maybe you'll be feel able to give your dad a clip round the ear, tell him to get his act together and to be a DAD. Sweetheart I'm sure you must have many people around that care about you PLEASE talk to someone. I hope life will get easier for you soon. sending you a big hug x x x

Answer 4

Well first of all I'm sry about your mom. But what you need to do is keep active,surround your self with friends whom love you and care about your welfare. Try and talk to your dad and tell him how you feel. If that doesn't work all I can say is, Get Your Dad Some Help!!!And you might need some to help w/ the loss of your mom and all.Stay strong!!!!I will pray for you!!
-Ninja
P.S. "You can do all things through Christ who stengthens you" Phillipains 4:13

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your lost. I would just like to hug you right now . Do you have a pastor or any close relatives? You are going to need someone to help you through all this. As for your dad he has to make his own decisions. I lost my sister to alcohol about five years ago and I tried everything from tough love to counseling and nothing worked because she did not want to give it up. I will pray for you and your daddy but there is help for you so please search for it so you can find some happiness in your life. God bless!!

Answer 6

im sry to hear about ur loss. have u and ur dad always not been close? u could always tell him how u feel about ur relationship with each other and that after ur mothers passing, that u need him to be here for u more then ever and simply ask him to cut down on the smoking and drinking if he really loves his daughter. if he refuses to change for u, then hun, except the fact that some people are just not willing to change for the better and go on with ur life, but make it a point to never act like him or be like him, be close to ur kids if u have any or future kids.

Answer 7

First off, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. As others have said, I would suggest finding someone you feel you can confide in. They can try their best to help you with anything, be it a shoulder to cry on or even to get you out of the house for a while. You NEED someone. Don't just sit around and dwell on it.

Answer 8

If you realize that his behavior is dangerous, you have to find a way to lovingly transfer your feelings to him so that you might change him. But if he is older, quiting smoking could kill him faster if he has been doing it for a long time. Just take care of yourself and realize that life dealt you this hand to do the best you can with it. Keep seeking people who care about you.

Answer 9

First of all I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

If you could get him to sit and talk for a few minutes, tell him that you have already lost one parent and you are very afraid of losing another. And also how important he has become since your mums passing.

I wish you luck.

Answer 10

It does get easier with time. It would help if you could talk to your dad, though. If not, contact a priest or pastor in your area. It helps to talk to someone, even someone you don't know.