I'm supposed to go to a sweet sixteen and I really can't dance. Or maybe I should say other people can't? I like the socializing part of parties more than I do dancing. It's probably because a lot of people don't dance, they just grind. Like the girls would rub their a** on the guys while the guys just stand there or move their hips. It could get raunchy, like dry sex depending on the extent of their movements. But I'm really not into that. I don't even see how that's dancing, but it seems like that's all anyone ever does, all my friends and everyone else in school and basically everyone I associate or know. They all pressure me to dance like them and grind when it's not me. I'm more into swing dancing, that's fun. But hey, nobody does that. So how can I stay true to myself without looking like the only loser not dong what everyone else is doing? or is there no escape? Because seriously I avoid parties because I know I'll be the only one not grinding.
2007-06-10 04:59:49 · 5 answers · asked by Blaire 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
actually i don't care anymore. i went, danced...it was whack, but thanks
2007-06-12 15:12:34 · update #1
If you're into swing dancing, it's not true you can't dance.
You don't want simulated sex in public -- that's a different thing.
Dance your way of dancing.
Do NOT dance in ways you don't want.
See if there are any real dancers among the boys -- there just may be.
If they bug you too much, don't dance. Just hang out.
Another thing you might consider is talking to one or more of your friends beforehand.
Are there any in your crowd that would be sympathetic to your feelings?
Maybe you could enlist them to help get the others to let you be yourself.
There may well be others among your friends who would rather not hump on the floor, but they lack courage.
If you can identify them, maybe you can band together and help each other resist the pressure from the rest.
In my culture (Northern Californian) it's acceptable for girls to dance together -- I'm not referring to the grindy kind of dance, but, you know, real dancing.
Who knows, you may even start a new trend among your compatriots.
Dancing for dancing's sake.
If you have any friends that just like to really dance, agree to do so together.
Or if you know any boys who like to dance, talk to them ahead of time, and agree to really show the rest how it's done.
Dancing, I mean -- not "it."
2007-06-10 14:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about not being able to dance. Most people can't. Many people just sit on the side talking to each other.
I am a swing dancer myself, and I am not into close contact dancing unless it is Argentine tango. The people who do the raunchy dancing are making fool out of themselves. You know who the people are that want to get on the dance floor and have grinding "dry sex" on the dance floor. Don't dance with them. Stay true to yourself. You have the right to choose your own friends.
Go to the party and have fun, but stay true to yourself. If you feel pressured, "Just Say No."
2007-06-10 05:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, all dancing is is moving your hips around and putting your arms out. And if a guy comes up to you and grinds with you and you don't want to walk away, just move your butt slowly and then snap your fingers in the air or something. It's really simple. If you don't want to, just be like, "Sorry, maybe later" or make up a lie and tell them you are about to get a drink.
I don't mean to be stereotypical, but you're black! (At least your avi is)...you are bound to have some soul in you. I'm mixed with black and white and dance like a white girl, lol so it's okay. And if people talk about the way you dance they seriously need lives.
Good luck! ;-)
2007-06-10 05:04:46 · answer #3 · answered by lildevilgurl152004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me except it was a school dance. You shouldn't grind, it's soo gross. I regret it big-time. If your so-called friends are pressuring you to do what THEY want you to do, don't go to the party. They don't sound like (much of a ) friend (s) to me because they're purposely putting you in an environment where they know you wouldn't feel comfortable.
2007-06-10 05:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by Chelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could just go and not dance.....or you could try it and you might like it. If your positive you wont like it then dance but dont grind.....after all its not compulsory.Im sure there are like-minded people out there all you have to do is find them!Just do your best to have a good time.
2007-06-10 05:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by Vigilante 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋